The Locksley-Oakenshield Academy of Hairdressing and Beauty Therapy

[ComeIntoTheSinisterGardenMaud]

All specialisms catered for. We offer courses in

Hairdressing, whether for long hair or a more conventional short back and sides

Manicures

Skincare: facepacks and other beauty treatments

Body art

Advice on styling and personal grooming, ranging from
formal evening attire to casual wear, with specialist sessions on military uniform.

I can't believe I have never come across those soundbites before!

I love the Gizzy one: "Punish you? What would I punish you? What have you been doing?"

It's the little pause before the WHYBD when he seems to realise they (Marion?) must have been doing something - it makes me giggle!

::sinks onto chaise longoo::

Hullo.

Hi Lady D. How's things?

proffers

Apart from, as you may have noticed, ::cough:: plundering the pics, I have never explored that site so the soundbites were a revelation to me, too. They were clearly tuning into Massive and LadyD's thought waves when they selected the pic of the day, though.

On another matter entirely, may I be permitted a little rant? Since when was it decreed that most things marketed as 'dresses' are in fact tunics that barely cover the, err, peaches and necessitate the wearing of leggings with them? Those of us who are old fat Rubenesque need something that shields the general public from the sight of our knees.

Rant over. As you were.

Thank you yet again, for all your lovely thoughts this morning. The funeral was fine and it was very nice to see all Dad's side of the family, most of whom I haven't seen for a good five years or more. I am wiped out though.

Maud, I am so excited on your behalf that you will see Higgins. That is sacrifice indeed.

There are some more audio gems here, including North and South, Spooks, Venetia and Lords of the North.

Trust me to nose out these things, Spiro. when I should have been doing something far more worthy They have even got "Close your eyes" , for the Twigster.

::Proffers Twiglets A Gogo from the a la carte menu for LadyD::

::applauds Maud's rant::

Hear, hear. When one's knees resemble those more commonly seen on an elephant one does not want them on show.

Oh, LadyD so glad you are okay, I didn't see you there.

It's the little pause before the WHYBD when he seems to realise they (Marion?) must have been doing something - it makes me giggle!

Spiro, please can you explain in words of one syllable or less. I didn't bring my brain with me tonight.

::necks and holds out glass for refill::

::munches twiglets then remembers they taste like spicy cardboard::

I too feel your pain, too, Maud. Dresses today remind me of my Uncle Bill and his favourite witty remark about "dressless evening straps" And I as I am somewhat vertically challenged, I can't imagine how anyone of normal height manages.

I suppose with the prices of raw materials these days today they have to save on material.

::Confiscates the Twiglets A Gogo from their ungrateful recipient::

I decided that as we were going to the thee-ay-ter I needed (really, really needed) a new dress, but have so far failed to find anything that meets my exacting requirements in terms of adequate coverage for those parts of the body ie all of them which are not fit for public scrutiny. I need a massive wardrobe revamp as even what I think of as my smart stuff is beginning to look tatty, and this doers not augur well.

::Resigns herself to shopping from the Damart catalogue::

There's an almost imperceptible pause before he says 'what have you been doing' and the whole thing just sounds very deep voiced and more than s little bit naughty.

Yum!

Glad it all went ok today.

Oh, and LadyD. Do your lovely soundbites just play (like the other ones do) or do they have to be downloaded? I got a mighty shock when I found that Your'e coming home with me had downloaded itself onto my iPod - which should make for some cheery commuting - but I was then assailed by Never Gonna Give You Up. I thought I'd been rick-rolled!

Gizzy is a bad, bad man, Spiro thank goodness

smart stuff

Misread that as smurf stuff - was briefly wondering what kind of kinky antics you and Mr T get up to on the cheese longoo at Maud Towers!

Ah, I see. The acronym was confusing me. It is rather saucy, isn't it?

Have you seen the pic of the day on there, LadyD? Might cheer you up.

No, you have to download them, which means next time LordD updates his iPhone there is a good chance at some point the real Lord Damerel will breathe 'My love, my heart, oh my dear delight, it is you' in his ear at some point.

Not to mention, 'The love that I have, is all that I have, and the life that I have is yours'.

Oops.

Thank your lucky stars there's no BtS snippets on there!

::sighs wistfully::

He is just the most perfect specimen of manhood, (psychological damage, arsonist and homicidal tendencies notwithstanding).

I suppose he has to have the odd minor flaw, LadyD, or he wouldn't be human.

. I think they're small enough flaws that I can overlook them.

And big enough compensations.