Welcome to our new common room which, as you would expect, is decorated in impeccable taste (despite the limited choice of wallpapers available in Milton Northern). Above the marble mantelpiece hangs a portrait of the Vice-Chancellor of the University. As we recline elegantly on the chaise longue, we partake of tea and ratafia biscuits and discuss the works of Plato, although in the evening the finest wines and Polish cordials may be served.