If something HUGE was to happen ..

[MaDuggar]

... how long could you survive with what you have in your house right now?

Do you have any tins/bottled water etc put away in case of a emergency?

Have been frealing myself out reading some wacky conspiray sites (all baging on about something huge happeneing in the next 2 weeks) - Im not be;lieveing it, but it has made me think that one day there could be an event and I probably would only last a week with my store cupboard!

Yes - we need Matt Cardle. No doubt about it. He sounds like Chris Whatsit from Coldplay - when that gets too annoying we can attack him with the cello point. We'll need a cathartic outlet like that - we have to think of our own well-being in all this.

I got to Grade 4 guitar in 1982. Will that help us?

I'm reassured by the volume of garlic. In our survival plans we didn't pay enough attention to snails - the garlic will be useful there as well.

God, yes. Snails. More free food. Well done Hassled. I suppose we should also do squirrels ans hedgehogs then. And maybe moles. (so sweet - little diggy hands.) But not rats. I won't eat rats. You can't make me.

You should have gone with my IOW idea. Tons of garlic there.

Hassled - just hope that the slugs don't come. I read a book about killer slugs once. I think I may have some in my compost bin, but I could train them to fight on our side.

Am I the only person who has been spooked by Horton saying she has a box of Celebrations that is several years old?

Haha. Um. I might be an alien. I, er, don't really like chocolate. I do like stupid kiddy sweets, though, if that helps. The packet of scary pink prawns and vile yellow bananas in the cupboard probably won't last the night. And I'm doing serious damage to the mini marshmallows even though I ought to be saving them for hot chocolate at tomorrow's bonfire party.

But I am delighted that you were impressed with my list, Fellatio. I am adding two bags of barbecue charcoal to it as I suddenly remember that we have some in the shed. We can barbecue the werewolves on it.

Yes it's a good list Horton. I particularly like the lemon tree in full working order ( a broken one's no good to us whatsoever) and the six tins of confit de canard. Impressive.

I have an olive tree, (no olives yet, but we've got the rest of our lives with nothing to do but wait) so I'll bring that. We'll be ok for martinis then, as I've already mentioned the gin and the Noilly Prat. Will put the cocktail shaker in my oh fuck rucksack first thing in the morning.

Is anyone else starting to wonder if they will need a large lorry to hold their OFRS?

DH is going to be sooo confused when he stumbles in drunk at midnight and I say 'could you just blow up the boat in case of a tsunami? Thanks'.

Oh yes, adding fig tree in a pot, tubs of herbs and a blackcurrant bush.

A lorry would probably be good, Sarah.

Does the warship have decks? We could give one over to a market garden, with grazing area for assorted livestock. We are going to be so happy on our boat. It everything. It's going to be better than real life.

What I meant by decks, was tiers of decks. You know - like the titanic. Except not sinky.

I've been thinking As we are getting to the stage where our organisation is at final tweaking, and we have rather a lot to move about the countryside... Does anyone else think it might be a good idea to take a pre-emptive strike and take over the warships now?

It would be an awful waste of such intelligent planning if the Apocalypse struck and we were stranded because the roads were clogged with idiots panicking because we had not implemented our plot plan for world domination early enough.

Please forgive appalling grammar. I have spent the day at Melton Mowbray Horse Sales wrestling ponies. I thought we could do with a few more...

DD (the flouncey one) plays cello and DS (cute) plays violin so are we in? DH is also rather brill at growing veg inc garlic and is also an IT/electronics/radio whizz. And me well I can knit erm scarves and er well actually just scarves at the moment but could probably adapt skills to other rectangular knitted items given the motivation. I can also make excellent chocolate brownies (suzy wongs recipe of course)

Sarah I hope you brought back pies. They might not keep, but we could eat them now, they'll help us think.

Ooh really wish you hadnt mentioned 'sinky' just remembered am not that keen on boats dont get seasick tho. Probably need to get some joyrides during the chemist looting for those who get gippy tho.....

Arfur - I was worried about space on warship, so what we could do is establish our farm stock on a north sea oil rig (would have to bring turf - not to self: steal turf) and people who Don't Do sailing could merrily and safely live on an oil rig feeding and milking the cows, way off from zombie-infected mainland.

Re: looting trial run. I've had an amazing idea for a theme park. Imagine if you fenced off a town like Swindon, after it had been decided that it should just be abandoned for the sake of all that is right with the world. You could then pay £10 and then go and play at looting!

"I'll have a Looting Day Out family ticket, please. Great. Now, has everyone got a baseball bat? Then let's go!"

Dd1 has grade one clarinet if the quartet could stay basic?

We have a few fruit tree in pots to bring, fig trees particularly goodthis year.

Also remembered that I pass the zoo to get to the war ships ,anyone want a giraffe or rhino?

Please lets call our boat the Ark and not the warship, as that sounds scary :)

Really? I like the idea of a scary warship. It's like how I have always wanted to be a Law Lord because I think it sounds like Warlord.

I LOVE the idea of the looting themepark! Even if the appocalypse doesn't happen, maybe we can all club together and open one.

Should we in fact just start the appocalypse ourselves, just so we can do all this?

How exactly do you start an apocalypse?

I keep having apocalyptic dreams, BTW. Last nights was about a huge snow storm across the US and my dad being lost in it. Oddly he was driving from NY to LA (about a 5 day drive) and we were worried that he hadn't made it in 3 hours.

If I dived off the cliffs near my house into the sea, Im pretty sure I would cause a worldwide tsunami

Can I come? I can bring DD who is a genius (possibly, it's a leetle hard to tell at 10 months) and a few SingStar discs to keep the ole spirits up.

I can also design houses which might come in useful once the zombies have all got bored and buggered off and we need to settle again on dry land.

I can bring a GPS, good hair cutting scissors and a case of good champers.

Has anyone else heard that BBC journos are striking on 15th/16th over pensions? We aren't going to be informed if anything does happen!!!

Am struggling to think what I can bring to this party - I mean, survival plan.

DD1 has a new bottle of Cherry Sourz so unless anyone has any cyanide lying around it could be used as a poison!

Could we ram raid Argos fir silver jewellery to turn into bullets against the werewolves? Though DD1 has told me not to kill Taylor Lautner!

Now, what do we do if the mutant rats start leaving the Undergound tunnels? (James Herbert was a favourite when I was 16)