If something HUGE was to happen ..

[MaDuggar]

... how long could you survive with what you have in your house right now?

Do you have any tins/bottled water etc put away in case of a emergency?

Have been frealing myself out reading some wacky conspiray sites (all baging on about something huge happeneing in the next 2 weeks) - Im not be;lieveing it, but it has made me think that one day there could be an event and I probably would only last a week with my store cupboard!

Horton if you're bringing your violin I can contribute a viola and ability to play it. We just need another violin and a cello and we can have a string quartet!

If they are vampires, I can also supply three gold crosses on chains, a rosary, two crucifixes and one silver cross on a chain. I'm not religious but have a large, odd and aging family who keep dying and leaving me religious jewellery.

Blimey, I've lost the zombie plot - a day's preoccupation with shopping for alarm clocks and fireworks and the looming apocalypse is forgotten.

I reckon we should bring fireworks along. A) they're pretty and B) they're scary. It would confuse the hell out of the zombies.

And how did we forget vampires? WTF were we thinking? Does anyone grow garlic? Can anyone fashion a crucifix out of household objects?

Oooh, thanksamillion, that sounds marvellous. I even have quite a few books of string quartets (mainly suitable for fairly talented ten year olds so we shouldn't have too much trouble with them).

I have the crucifixes all covered, Hassled! See previous post.

Also, forgot my blow up boat in case it turns out to be a tsunami. But need to wait until midnight for DH to get home and blow it up because I haven't got enough puff in me. So please don't do any tsunami action until at least 2am.

AND and and, have just realised that I have a whole large carrier bag full of Tramadol and Codydramol (me and DH both had operations last year but are both fairly unconcerned by pain). How useful would that be?

Dh asked if there is a werewolf plan?

If there are werewolves, I am running away and hiding under the bed. Because I am shit-scared of large dogs and also violently allergic to them.

Yup - if there are werewolves I'm fucked.

Oh, just a thought, after it turns 7th of November, we should all go onto the website that MaDuggar linked to, and watch some class A cognitive dissonance in action.

sorry ladies, these are all mine.

Hassled, I grow garlic, but not very well. However, FIL grows loads, and never eats them because MIL hates the stuff. Not sure why he grows it to be honest, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind lending us some.

I'm not entertaining the idea of werewolves. I have no plan for them. I'll just pretend they aren't there and they'll go away, I'm sure.

So many sub-plans, so little time. Although I assume we are now back to working on the basis that the 14th is Appocalypse Day?

1. The Plan - The Musical. I have a clarinet. If we can get a string quartet together as well then I will bring the sheet music for Mozart's clarinet quintet which I am pretty sure I can still play. If we also have a piano then we can also pull of the Mozart Kegelschtadt trio which is terribly nice.

2. Vampires and werewolves - they just fight each other, don't they? That just leaves the zombies for us to worry about.

Incidentally, what is it that we actually think is going to happen that will spawn multiple varieties of the undead and the fall of the government? Or are we just being Very Well Prepared?

Is everyone still here by the way? There weren't any mini, localised apocalypses, were there?

I have a large and heavy keyboard which I can play. But it requires electricity and weighs as much as a fairly large corpse. So we would definitely need some pretty serious transport.

I'm not sure what's going to happen, kungfu, but nobody is going to catch me on the hop, oh no.

I also have a half size violin so maybe we could teach one of the kids to play that. Then we only need a cello.

I think I may also be enjoying this way too much. If the appocalypse doesn't happen do you think we should just organise a looting outing and bus trip anyway?

Oh, why not? It'll occupy the smalls and we won't have to spend anything on Christmas presents. We can use the money we save to stock up on freeze-dried ice cream and gin.

I may still have a recorder somewhere but I haven't played in ages.

No apocalypses here. Yet.

Violin lessons? Argh! kungfupannda, I suspect the zombies will turn out to be your good selves after six months on a warship, living on lentils & jam, listening to infantile screech scales

Never mind, you can stage M. Jackson's Thriller for your Christmas show.

Oh oh oh if there are werewolves I bagsie that bloke from Being Human. Stuff the food, I'd die happy.

Ah, I won't be able to come if you've already got a viola player.

cellos have a big spike on the bottom, so can be used to disembowel zombies between movements.

werewolves are easy, as they only wolf out once a month. All you have to do is synchronise your cycles so that everyone on the boat has PMT at wolf time and they will be toast.

I've a flute and a guitar. Will that be useful?

DH says he has an oboe, and he can play the air guitar to a grade 8 standard.

I grow garlic! Have loads of it hanging in the pantry drying now. Still have four large pumpkins left as well, though I'm not sure how best to preserve those? Perhaps I could DHL them to Moldova so they can be pickled?

Also got some leeks and kale and sprouts still in the ground. Kale is horrible. Like chewing sisal matting. But VERY good at warding off scurvy.

Sorry if I missed this but has anyone actually bagged the role of Pedestrian of the Apocolypse? Because if not I'd really quite like to put myself forward for that one. If plenty of relevant experience. I've been walking for around 44 years now. Unless anyone else thinks they are better suited, I mean I'm not pushy or anything.

Just though ot something else - Matt Cardle. He lives down the road from me. Shall I ask him if he'd like us to reserve him a place on the warship? He can sing to us, and look cute, we can all stroke him and wish we were a bit younger. We can't leave him behind, can we?

Am I the only person who has been spooked by Horton saying she has a box of Celebrations that is several years old?

Horton are you an alien? Or an imposter of some sort? No self-respecting woman would NEVER say that. Even if you don't particularly like Celebrations surely they would have been eaten on a bad PMT day?

On the upside, I was VERY impressed with your list.

I am concerned about MrsChemist's PILs. Maybe FIL knows more than he is letting on. Maybe there is a reason why MIL hates garlic so much. Maybe she is part of the First Wave of The Apocalypse