I am swinger AMA

[AMA097155]

As the title says really. I think there's a lot of misconceptions about my/our choices so I'd thought I'd post.

I am what some term a 'hotwife', although that word gives me the ick.

(A hotwife in the swinging and consensual non-monogamy community is a married or committed woman who has sex with other men with the full knowledge, consent, and active encouragement of her husband)

I have sex with people other than my husband, a a friend with benefits whom I'd seen for a over a year, and friends all within the swinging world.

My husband joins socially and for things like a party but isn't so keen on meeting women solo. We've also jointly attended a club, but the dynamic wasn't for us.

If you have any questions, ask away.

False equivalence. You don't need enthusiastic consent from the furniture to sit on it, do you? And it's not in charge of who gets into its drawers, is it? 🤣

Okay, tell, not discuss. Why would you tell your children or parents you were into swinging?

Does it make you lose respect and/or attraction for your husband?

Implying someone is a dirty, used-up slut is not a debate and you know it.

You can disagree with a lifestyle choice and be respectful about it. You can say 'I believe marriages should be monogamous', or 'I find it hard to imagine that this wouldn't corrode your bond with your husband', or 'I think swinging is detrimental to the fabric of society' without making a deranged personal attack.

My ex gave me an std from secretley swinging
There is a lot of oral stds flying about at the moment so.much so that in the north west sex workers and swingers are offered doxy prep and hiv prep in clinics.
Defintley not saying she is disease ridden but some swingers who dont attend clubs dont know about this.

Why not make money from it? Because I am not for sale...?

The way you answered that is interesting. Not a simple “No I’m not interested in making money from it, I do it for fun”. The “...?” implies you think that the poster should have realised that crosses some sort of moral line. But do you really think you’re above that? Your lifestyle is distasteful by most of society’s standards.

As for your DH, personally I’d lose all respect for my husband as a man if he pathetically wanked in a corner while I shagged someone else.

Remember that silly little line in your vows.. forsake all others. Every single person whether single or coupled up that swings in whatever form has some deep unresolved issues. Go on a site, look at how these people present themselves and tell me all is well psychologically. It’s a need for validation in one form or another and it’s sordid. There is absolutely nothing cool about it. There is nothing that says this person is happy and whole. This relationship is happy and whole. One person always broaches the topic and the other gets pulled into it thinking they are special in some way. Op the last man (other than the man you made vows to) who shagged you will be equally as happy lining up to shag Linda, 63, big woman who is happy to blow 10 men at a ‘party’ and thank them all while her ‘husband’ sits there playing with his flacid cock and half heartedly fingers Jo, 52, who goes by the name ‘Dirty Cum Slut’. That is the reality of swinging.

I'd query why an orgasm means sex was successful/good? Why is an orgasm the main goal?

Erm op... that is the entire point of sex?

Otherwise it's like feeling really hungry, spending all that time cooking and enjoying the delicious smells, plating up then... walking away and not eating anything.

What I find odd about many of these threads is the posters try to 'defend' their position by creating a weak narrative.

eg
STIs aren't an issue if you get tested often. They may not develop further but the risk is there and the more partners = more risk.

I feel I belong somewhere and it's non-judgemental. As if swinging is the only option.

Our marriage is solid and we trust each other - Could be my H is really not bothered OR he gets a kick out of fantasising about me with other men.

I have not read those words in this thread . But I've not read every post.
Does the phrase dirty, used-up slut appear?

Lots of women have sex and do not have an orgasm.
It's not just about orgasm.

You are another poster suggesting sex workers are lesser than - as though it being suggested to the OP is disgusting, an outrage, an insult. And you have the temerity to call others mysoginists. While they may be, so are you.

Sex is all about having an orgasm as far as im concerned.

I'm so confused.

To me, that is the entire point. What other reason would there be to do it (unless for pregnancy reasons?)

Who are these poor women having lots of sex with no orgasms?!

Feeling increasingly grateful for my DH!

Good for you.
There was a thread a while back about a woman who had never had one ever. It's not as rare as you think.

I agree. Louis Theroux did a great documentary about sex workers. A couple had regulars. I suppose having regulars that you know and trust and hopefully fancy somewhat, too, could make it not so bad. But having to put out for whatever comes along, yikes. There's a brothel in Nevada called the Mustang Ranch. Sex work is legal in Nevada. I saw a programme about it. So, if you work there, you have to sleep with any passing trade 🤢. At least the workers in Louis's documentary were independent and seemed to have a good thing going with their regulars.

Not all objection to lifestyles and behaviour led by women is misogyny you know, we’re not exempt to criticism from our own gender. Enough with the overbearing feminism 🙄 If it makes you feel any less outraged I think the husband is a disgusting little perverted weasel too.

I don't agree

Can’t you think of anything more interesting to do? Anyone can fuck.

Oh stop with the faux innocence.

I don’t think she said it was the only thing she does

How old are your kids? Do you stay overnight at these parties? Are they actually attractive?

If you come back please can you quote replies when answering questions, it’s helpful for following the thread!

Did you ever consider swinging in previous relationships or just with your husband?

If your husband suddenly wanted monogamy would you stay?

If you saw a work colleague at a party what would you do?

Thanks!

That's a throuple! One of my late father's friends had a son who was into this. Imagine trying to explain to your 83-year-old father what a throuple is! 🤣