I’m in my 30’s and live rent-free with parents AMA

[NC4AMAx]

The rent free is because my parents are wealthy. No mortgage.

God knows I’ve tried to send them money to contribute to bills, but they get offended and just transfer me back. I also buy my own food and toiletries.

Thought I would clear that up first. But AMA(else).

Are you not embarrassed?

Why are you living with them?

Are you saving up to move out?

Do you bring friends or partners back?

Why are you still living with them? Surely you must have savings? Would they help finance you buying a house if they are wealthy?

Yes. I wish my life could have turned out like my friends. I wanted to be married and had children by this point. Sadly it hasn’t happened.

Is it a big house ? Do have your own annexe so it doesn’t feel like you’re all on top of each other ?

But that doesn’t stop you moving out and getting your own place

I went to uni at 18. Then lived in my uni city in flat shares with friends then an apartment for a few years afterwards.

Rent was very expensive. Then I was made redundant when corona virus struck. My parents let me come home to save.

Of course.

Never bring men back. I haven’t done that since I was a teenager.

Sometimes my close friends will come round for drinks or a meal in the garden if the weather is nice.

Yes I have some savings. I have a help to buy ISA.

And yes they would. I would feel guilty however, as I would like to buy a house with my own money not theirs.

Are you saving an amount close to rent or at least rent if housing prices were not massively disportionate to average income?

Can't you houseshare?

No annexe.

Not a big house. A 3 bed detached.

And not really. I work 9-5 an hour-ish commute away, then will go to the gym afterwards.

My parents don’t work now but are early 60’s. They have lots of holidays and weekends away. So it’s not often we’re all in together.

It doesn’t. But being a single person makes it extremely harder to purchase and finance a home.

If you have a partner who also works it’s easier. Sadly this isn’t the case for me.

I don’t want to.

My parents also tell me they would rather I save up here then live with strangers.

So at the moment it suits your parents to be their house sitter when they're away . You can keep an eye on things , tidy up , get in fresh bread and milk.
Keep the bins and garden ticking over .

Do they have pets ?

10 0r 20 years down the line do they expect you be be their carer?

Ah. I don't charge my young adult kids rent either, but both are shortly moving out to houseshare with friends.

I think housesharing does them a world of good, personally. Even if it makes less economic sense. We don't have a large house.

No pets.

No idea re: if they want me as a carer when they’re older. That conversation has never come up.

Maybe because I have 2 grandparents still alive who don’t need caring for yet.

Q1 What, if anything, do you think you give back? (examples only - . being a presence in the house for security, helping them lift stuff, lift to the airport when they go on hols, companionship). Q2 What do they nag you about (examples only - doors left open, washing machine / fridge battles, late night activities, tidiness)

I house shared a lot after I graduated from university. Although it was fun in my 20’s I wouldn’t want to live like that in my 30’s. Most people are not clean or respectful of each other.

Q1 - I clean a lot. Especially on Sunday evenings I like to blitz the kitchen and bathrooms, whilst they either go to the pub or have a meal out.
I’ll do a lot of food and supply shops for them as I have a Costco membership and bulk buy a lot.

Q2 - Using the tumble dryer a lot. Parking (apparently I’m a shit parker and don’t leave enough room at either side). Using Lush products which stink the bathroom out. But I think they smell nice.

i expect there will be.more intergenerational living in the UK in the future.
A friend has 4 children, and all 4 have returned home, two with partners. Not what she expected in her 50s!
Personally, if my kids refuse to houseshare in the future and move back home, I may move out and houseshare myself, maybe with my long-suffering friend.

It’s quite normal now for older DC to live with their parents due to cost of living these days. But if they’re offering to help you buy somewhere or rent somewhere and they can afford it then why not accept it. It’s no big deal people get help like that all the time.