I’m in my 30’s and live rent-free with parents AMA

[NC4AMAx]

The rent free is because my parents are wealthy. No mortgage.

God knows I’ve tried to send them money to contribute to bills, but they get offended and just transfer me back. I also buy my own food and toiletries.

Thought I would clear that up first. But AMA(else).

My children are still in school but I've been saying for years to them that they'd be better off saving up and staying at home until they were at least 25.

A 2 bedroomed house to rent is around 1k in my area. Imagine how much it will be by the time their older? It makes no sense for them both to pay 1k rent, utilities etc when we could all just carry on living together and they could save up nicely.

Having a mortgage isn't for everyone

I think this is really important context for living with your parents, it sounds like it wouldn’t have been safe for you to be living in your own or in flatshare.

Glad you’re doing a bit better and able to save etc

I don’t think this is really that unusual these days. The Boomers are reaping what they sowed.

That's nice. So it's the OPs parents fault. How?

So you are only managing to save roughly £150 per month?

But it’s not is it? You’re using their money to live right now aren’t you? They’re essentially paying your rent now?

Youve not said what you’re spending all your money on now - since you’re on £25k a year but only save a minimal amount. You’re not paying any utilities or household bills

Ignore this question. Just read about you having time out of work due to poor mental health. Hope you are better now and being close to your family must have helped this. I do find society off in the respect of pushing youngsters out. My mum wanted me out at 16!!

We’ve allowed Boomers to be the beneficiaries of a truly enormous generational wealth gap. We have young people now who have no realistic prospect of buying their own homes and many can’t even afford to rent. So it’s hardly surprising to find them living with their parents into their 30s and even later.

Boomer bashing bingo - boring!

sorry to hear about your mental health struggles - I started a business and cared for my father and moved back home in my 40s! Cast off any stigma and enjoy your life!

I told my DDs that they could have a year living at home rent free, but I expected them to save £1000 per month. They did this without too much trouble as it still gave them around £400-500 to fritter away.

I don’t understand why you would refuse help to buy a home? Loads of people have help many who can afford it themselves.

Ahhhh one of my closest friends is in this very similar position
Theyre saving hard to move out whilst recognising the luck and privilege to do so.
They have struggled to find a partner and living alone is expensive!
Good luck

I think you are are 💯 right to live at home and save.

I am not a boomer and my eldest is 31

We are indeed. A functional and loving family and children who will inherit.

Have you paid off your debt at this point? Are you in the position to finally set serious savings goals?

This was my first thought.
My second is, "Don't you want a life of your own?".
Tbh, I find it baffling....

Why should she be embarrassed?

She's part of a close family. She graduated from university, has lived independently, has a job, works out, has a good social life, lots of friends and pulls her weight in the home.

I find some of the snidey comments baffling.

You don’t need to be embarrassed. Sounds like a good arrangement and it’s not as if you don’t work or have a social life. There’s a housing crisis and you have a home and you’re not taking up a whole extra house - good for you.

Absolutely.

10K is nothing over 6 years! My DS saved about 5K when he did a min wage job btwn school and uni!

Over the 6 years I’ve been living with parents I’ve had big credit card debts I’ve had to pay off and long periods of unemployment due to mental ill health and wanting to kill myself.

I haven’t worked full time consistently over these 6 years. It’s took a lot to get myself out of an extremely dark place. Build up my confidence and return into the world of work.

I work. I have hobbies. I have a social life. I spent today with friends and have had a lovely day. Now im about to cook in an empty kitchen with food I bought.

I Was going to answer more questions but a response like this has really stung and upset me.

I won’t be returning. As I would rather spend my evenings doing things for my own life and not risk anything else affecting my mental health as it has been in an extremely dark place before I never thought I would live to see 33.

But thank you to everyone who has made supportive comments ❤️