I’m in my 30’s and live rent-free with parents AMA

[NC4AMAx]

The rent free is because my parents are wealthy. No mortgage.

God knows I’ve tried to send them money to contribute to bills, but they get offended and just transfer me back. I also buy my own food and toiletries.

Thought I would clear that up first. But AMA(else).

Why should anyone feel embarrassed about living with their own parents? As long as you are a contributing member of the household and doing your fair share of chores, what's the issue? It is extremely common in many countries and cultures.

If you are wanting a partner and children but living at home is stopping you from this then surely it might be time to now bite the bullet and move?

You must have plenty saved after 6 years.

How much money exactly have you saved now, given that you’ve lived rent free for 6 years?

How much have you saved ?

In the 6 years you have lived there, rent and bill free (you lucky lady!) how much have you saved?

who cooks
if you cook for y ourself, is there room in the kitchen?

You could book a nice get away for them if they refuse contribution towards bills, it would be harder for them to refuse plane tickets and hotel accomodation for a nice break.

Yes, but if you still want to date with a view to marriage and children, surely you can see that living in your parents’ house isn’t going to help advance that?

I have a partner yet financed my own home. I pay the mortgage and all the bills and still have spending money after all deductions.
We do log all expenditures and apart from the mortgage we do split bills.
That said, if we were to split up, my income would still cover the outgoings and still have spare cash to spend.

So a mortgage and all outgoings is doable as a single person.

have you joined Meet ups?

I don't know why MN gets their knickers in a collective knot about adult DC living in the family home.

DD lived in uni house shares, had her own studio flat whilst working abroad post graduation and is now home whilst she gets her career going.

She pays a nominal rent, maxes out her LISA and puts money into her S&S isa. She's past wanting to share kitchens/bathrooms with people with dubious hygiene standards unless she has to move away for work. Her boyfriend's the same.

Why pay a landlord when you can pay yourself?

And, no, we have no plans for her to be our carer (another thing MN is obsessed with!)

Why did you make this ama in the first place? The first response tells you public opinion and you probably get shit about being at home. I don’t always think it’s a bad idea tbh- one day you’ll be there for them when they need you and you’re sparing a house for someone else. Everyone has different lives and should work on their own before they judge others that aren’t impacting them

And you say you clean and shop so- job done really as long as you save for your own future and help out with other bills if they let you!!

Good for you, OP. You get nice family time and time to build your life.
You sound like you have a lovely, close relationship with your parents and you all treasure each other.

I have lots of friends and a social life.

I’m not lonely. Not sure why you’ve asked me this tbh?

Living at home doesn’t stop me from dating.

I’m not sure why you would think it would.

because you want a partner to help you buy i thought?

£10K

Not uncommon I hear a lot about adult children moving back home. Our neighbours (a couple) have moved both their adult children and their spouses in, plus two young children.

OP - do you think you will ever actually move out, in all honesty? It sounds like a good set up if you get along with your parents and you have your own space.

Yes plenty of room.

My parents eat around 6-6:30pm

I eat around 8pm once I’ve got home from work/gym.

You’d feel guilty them helping you to buy a house - but you dont feel guilty them housing you now? Whats the difference?

I offer. They will never let me pay for something like that.

They insist on transferring me the money if I surprise them with something nice from the shop. They’re crazy.

Is that all?

that’s only just over £1k a year. About £150 per month?

Why haven’t you saved more considering you don’t pay rent or any bills at all

Wanted to see what crazy responses I get🤣

But I am answering everything honestly.

Luckily I have never received shit or bad opinions on my living situation in real life.

Do you think it's odd that our society frowns on this so much?

It makes total sense for you to live at home while you save. It keeps the house properly occupied, you continue to be close to loved ones, and you save good amounst of money that would otherwise line the pockets of a landlord for probably far less pleasant living space.

Do you think it would help if adults were less stigmatised about living with parents?

Does it hold you back, socially and romantically?

Sorry, could you direct quote me where I say I want a partner to help me buy a house?

I am allowed to be sad marriage and children hasn’t happened for me like it has my friends at this stage in life. I am also allowed to say “having a working partner makes it easier for people to buy a house together”. It doesn’t mean I want a partner right now. I am wanting to buy a house, for me, with my money.