I’m in my 30’s and live rent-free with parents AMA

[NC4AMAx]

The rent free is because my parents are wealthy. No mortgage.

God knows I’ve tried to send them money to contribute to bills, but they get offended and just transfer me back. I also buy my own food and toiletries.

Thought I would clear that up first. But AMA(else).

How have you only saved £10k over 6 years? Where does your money go?

How much do you earn?

FFS. How is this a unique situation that justifies an AMA? There must be thousands or tens of thousands of people like you in the country.

Next AMA - i have a boring job in admin. Ask me anything?

Yes.

I had credit card debts from my student years and early 20’s.

I’ve had to dip into my savings to help repair my car after things have gone wrong with it.

I was out of work for a while after being made redundant. Had some mental health crises.

What’s your take home pay out of interest?

How is it that you have only saved 10k in six years?! You’re not paying any rent. My DDs both moved home after uni or work abroad and we didn’t charge them rent so they could save. They both moved out around the age of 26. One bought her own place, a one-bed flat, by herself. She hasn’t got a partner. The other rents a one-bed with her boyfriend. They have jobs that pay around the low-middle 30s.

Thank you very much.

I know I am extremely lucky, my parents are amazing people and I love them very much.

£10k … wow. I thought you were going to say £40k at least. You’re not really saving are you you’re just living with your parents.

If the right small property comes up in which I will be able to afford the deposit and mortgage then yes. Yes I will move out.

There is no rule that says you cannot live with your parents

I left home when I was 18 so this is hard for me to relate to. In those days people who stayed with parents were generally only those who couldn’t cope independently, and you’d never have gone out with someone who still lived at home. So with that for context:

-Don’t you feel a bit strange (I hate to say it, but “wet”) to not be independent from your parents?
-Don’t you think this will be unattractive to your future partner - that you essentially have no experience running a home, living and organising things such as your bills independently and cleaning up after yourself, so might expect them to do everything when you leave?
-Don’t you worry that your parents will use this against you when you’re older to guilt you into caring for them?

They’ve told me, many many many times that I shouldn’t feel guilty for living with them.

Yes, it’s very odd. I think that’s why I started the thread. I knew what type of opinions I would get. I don’t care though, it’s my life.

I don’t feel held back at all. I have a great social life. Not really interested in dating atm, had a rough couple of years with someone which shattered my self worth.

Answered previously, but a lot of time I wasn’t saving.

I was made redundant and struggled to find work when I moved back home.

I had lots of credit card debt from my university days and from living in a city. I was young and stupid.

Had quite a bad mental health crisis, self harming, suicidal, which meant I was out of work for a while.

Obviously now my money goes on saving up. But it also goes on my car too, which I need to get to work. Public transport isn’t an option to get to my work location.

£25K

Have to agree. I know loads of people still living with parents around the 30 mark and beyond. Unfortunately it’s really not unusual with the cost of housing / rent and low wages these days.

I know. But it seems MN froths at the mouth because of it. I wanted to see what questions I got.

Sorry to hear about your mental health issues OP, I imagine your parents were a great support for you.

Do you still want marriage and children?

And what do you think your life will look like when you’re 40?

I get the impression that you are waiting on a partner to magically appear and get you a house.

So why would you feel guilty having them help you with a deposit? What’s the difference?

Though you’re only saving £100-£150 per month. How would you afford your bills

What is all your money going on now if that’s all you save?

Can't you houseshare?

That'd be worse than living with your parents. In my opinion.

To be honest, I think what you are doing is repeated up and down the country, living at home saving. It's really hard out there to buy, esp on your own. It's very different to a generation or two ago. You need to save more though.

Nothing to be ashamed of and if you get on well with your parents then all cool. Good luck when you do finally get to buy your own pad, you're going to love it!

-Don’t you feel a bit strange (I hate to say it, but “wet”) to not be independent from your parents?

I have a job. Run my own car. Have a good social life. Buy all my food. Cook for myself every night. Do more cleaning than my dad has ever done.
So no not really. They feel like flat mates if I’m honest.

Don’t you think this will be unattractive to your future partner - that you essentially have no experience running a home, living and organising things such as your bills independently and cleaning up after yourself, so might expect them to do everything when you leave?

No. I lived independently when I graduated uni. Had a nice swanky city centre apartment. I set up and paid my bills.

I clean up after myself. I’m not sure why you have the impression that my parents clean up after me? I can assure you they don’t.

Don’t you worry that your parents will use this against you when you’re older to guilt you into caring for them?

Absolutely not. They are amazing people. Selfless, warm, kind, caring. They dont have a spiteful bone in their body. I would care for them anyway if needed. My mum cared amazingly for my beautiful Nannan at the end of her life when she unfortunately fell very ill.

Gosh some people on here I swear are purposely obtuse, just typical MN I suppose

I'm in a similar boat OP but I'm older and living with my mum again, I so desperately want to buy a house but the prices where I live are crazy. Plan is to save as much as possible while I'm here and hopefully buy next year. So no judgement from me at all

Can I ask how much you manage to save each month now you're earning again? And how much will you look to spend on a property when you eventually get in a position to?

No.