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AMA

I'm a tradwife AMA

288 replies

Loopyloooooo · 30/12/2023 00:14

I'm a "tradwife" aka a traditional housewife. Not sure anyone would be interested but AMA if you are...

Married for 15 years, 3 DC aged 13-7. I would describe myself as a housewife rather than as a SAHM and yes DH rules the roost.

OP posts:
FreshWinterMorning · 30/12/2023 22:44

@ScrollingLeaves

Whether ‘trad wife’ or SAHM’,
I cannot believe how people think that not going out to work would mean a woman has nothing to think about or talk about! A limited world!

Maybe it is the opposite because of having time to read, think, listen to news, and possibly go out to see people or museums etc. Not to say, a woman in this position may also be very creative, knitting, sewing doing upholstery to a virtually professional standard; or writing or collecting information for the family history, for example.

They could have a very active, communicative, social life; or be contributing to a wider community in some way.

On the other hand, getting up, getting children’s breakfast and packed lunch, getting home at six with tired hungry children who have homework, being exhausted, cooking cleaning and dropping into bed wiped-out may make for quite a limited world too -necessary though it might be for financial reasons.

This 100%. Since I had kids and went part time, in a simple but decent paid 'admin job,' I have SO much more of an enriched and full and interesting life than when I was child free and working all the hours God sends. (My kids are grown and left now. And I went part time when I had my first at around 30, and stayed part time.)

My full time corporate job was all work work work. My employer was always setting targets and goals and doing appraisals to see how I could 'improve,' and sending me off on courses that they thought I needed, but bored me to fucking death. I left the house at 7.15am and rarely got home before 6.30pm. I was sometimes given work to take home if I had not finished what I was given to do!

My work hours were 8.45am til 5.15pm Mon-Fri, and sometimes something would come up that would keep me there til 5.30pm or 5.45pm or even 6pm, and I would not get paid for it. If I started to put my coat on at 5.14pm to 5.16pm my (male) manager would say 'leaving early are you part timer?' Hmm

He stayed til 6pm quite often, but that's because he was married with 2 little kids and wanted to stay away from the responsibility of his kids as long as possible. So even though he should have finished at 5.15pm, he stayed til 6pm quite often just arseing about and phoning his mates or his mum, then he would fuck off to the pub til 8pm!

So anyone else having the audacity to leave ON TIME was treated with scorn ... If you didn't give your ALL to the company - you were accused of not being a team player 🙄 'team work makes the dream work FreshWinterMorning, don't forget that!' Hmm

But yeah, fuck full time work. I went part time in my early 30s, and never went back to full time. (Was a SAHM for about 7-8 years in my mid to late 30s/early 40s,) and fucking LOVED it. I returned to work when they were a bit older - but only 18-20 hours a week. (Over 2 days.) SAHMs have the best life, and it is certainly not BORING! Yes it's hard work til the kids go to school, but then it's fucking brilliant. Much better than working full time in a boring minimum pay job, or a demanding corporate job. Give me a life of a homemaker/SAHM any day over 'a job!'

I am not talking about a very well paid illustrious career, I mean 'working for the man!'

porridgeisbae · 30/12/2023 23:25

Hubby’s clearly discover this thread and banished her from the computer for all these crazy feminist bitches putting ideas in her head 🤣

@purpledaze24 Well, it is 'manhatingnet' as my ex called it. Grin Before everyone here rightly encouraged me to block him on everything.

Coming from someone whose chosen beliefs about women and sexuality are straight out of 1820.

You don't know me (and why would it be 1820, anyway? Who do you think I am, Jane Austen?) Try about 200AD, but with a few question marks about some things.

I've lived a somewhat odd life, I'm a very complicated person. Smile

idontlikealdi · 30/12/2023 23:30

It's not an ama if @Loopyloooooo doesn't answer the questions?!

FreshWinterMorning · 30/12/2023 23:32

idontlikealdi · 30/12/2023 23:30

It's not an ama if @Loopyloooooo doesn't answer the questions?!

Yep she definitely missed the point of AMA!

porridgeisbae · 30/12/2023 23:36

@Loopyloooooo Ignore the haters- please come back. We were all looking forward to your answers. Smile

I know that having had a career once doesn't mean you're not a tradwife now. Although arguably, a TW would never go back to work of course. Grin But if your husband lets you down, you have it as a plan B.

Also of course we don't live in an ideal world- family circumstances may mean you have to work at some point in future; if your husband is off work for a while or something.

VolvoFan · 30/12/2023 23:39

Not that many questions asked. Maybe she's writing up answers, who knows? @Loopyloooooo please ignore the envy and bitterness, and enjoy your life.

Leah5678 · 31/12/2023 00:10

My question is what distinguishes you from an ordinary stay at home mum?
I hope op comes back and answers more questions she might just be busy and will come back tomorrow or something?

Sususudio · 31/12/2023 07:34

This might have been interesting if a real tradwife had come on. During lockdown, I got completely fascinated by American trad wife blogs. It's such a bizarre way of life ( to me).

ScrollingLeaves · 31/12/2023 14:28

FreshWinterMorning · 30/12/2023 23:32

Yep she definitely missed the point of AMA!

Maybe the aggressive undertone of some of the responses was not part of the spirit either.

HappyBusman · 31/12/2023 15:09

ScrollingLeaves · 31/12/2023 14:28

Maybe the aggressive undertone of some of the responses was not part of the spirit either.

Or the fact that a couple of posters pointed out early on that the OP appeared to be misrepresenting herself, as her posts elsewhere indicate that she has profoundly disabled children and that being a SAHP is mot some faddy lifestyle choice, but a necessity, and a challenging one at that.

I wish the OP the very best and think she has a difficult and demanding set-up, but wonder why on earth she would misrepresent herself as having some kind of reactionary belief in patriarchal gender roles in marriage.

Mamabear04 · 11/01/2024 14:19

Do you have a private pension? Can you tell us more about how you are securing your future?

What does a typical day look like for you?

DriftingDora · 11/01/2024 18:22

Mamabear04 · 11/01/2024 14:19

Do you have a private pension? Can you tell us more about how you are securing your future?

What does a typical day look like for you?

she went thataway.......âž¡

DillSmith97 · 13/01/2024 14:57

Hey how you doing

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