Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AMA
Original poster

I'm a tradwife AMA

288 replies

Loopyloooooo · 30/12/2023 00:14

I'm a "tradwife" aka a traditional housewife. Not sure anyone would be interested but AMA if you are...

Married for 15 years, 3 DC aged 13-7. I would describe myself as a housewife rather than as a SAHM and yes DH rules the roost.

OP posts:
Malarandras · 30/12/2023 00:15

The only question I have is a short one: why?

SouthLondonMum22 · 30/12/2023 00:16

Malarandras · 30/12/2023 00:15

The only question I have is a short one: why?

Why? here too.

Singleandproud · 30/12/2023 00:16

What provisions have you made should anything happen to DH either as a result of relationship breakdown or something like long term illness or accident?

Are you well qualified, could you get back into the job market easily?
Some sort of income protection / life insurance?

MadamVastra · 30/12/2023 00:16

Is your husband ok with you being on mumsnet 😂

Original poster
Loopyloooooo · 30/12/2023 00:17

I genuinely enjoy it. My original chosen career made me unwell and I like keeping on top of everything at home and of course DH is happy too.

OP posts:
Dancerprancer19 · 30/12/2023 00:17

What would you do if he had an affair?

AppleKatie · 30/12/2023 00:18

What would you do if his wage can’t keep up with inflation?

Blueberry40 · 30/12/2023 00:18

Do you ever feel anxious knowing that you are so financially dependent on your DH? Do you that others judge your choice to be a tradwife negatively?

SouthLondonMum22 · 30/12/2023 00:18

Loopyloooooo · 30/12/2023 00:17

I genuinely enjoy it. My original chosen career made me unwell and I like keeping on top of everything at home and of course DH is happy too.

What do you mean by DH rules the roost?

Are you religious?

Do you think you're setting a good example to your children? Especially if you have a daughter?

olderbutwiser · 30/12/2023 00:18

Can you give me an example of something you as a couple do differently to a non-trad couple? Some of the decisions your husband makes on your behalf?

minipie · 30/12/2023 00:19

Do you prefer DH to “rule the roost” or is this something you have accepted/put up with in return for financial support?

Original poster
Loopyloooooo · 30/12/2023 00:19

@Singleandproud I have a career I could get back into if I needed to and it's the type of job where they will always be short and bite your arm off if you want to return.

I have a life insurance and a pension.

OP posts:
Deathbyfluffy · 30/12/2023 00:20

Blueberry40 · 30/12/2023 00:18

Do you ever feel anxious knowing that you are so financially dependent on your DH? Do you that others judge your choice to be a tradwife negatively?

There’s plenty of people that judge any career path negatively - there are people that hate women being a SAHM, having a career etc.
Cant see why that would bother the OP.

Only a fool cares what other people think of them

WetBandits · 30/12/2023 00:20

Can you access family money any time you like, for any reason at all?

ditalini · 30/12/2023 00:20

What would you do if your dh was shit at his half of the bargain? E.g. failed to provide/protect and made stupid decisions that disadvantaged your family unit?

Is it a "business" deal in your mind, with both parties bringing something to the table, or is there a religious/morality element where you just have to put up with the bad parts?

Original poster
Loopyloooooo · 30/12/2023 00:21

Dancerprancer19 · 30/12/2023 00:17

What would you do if he had an affair?

I suppose that would depend on the circumstances and whether we both want to work through it. But I have a career I can fall back on which I acknowledge buts me in a very good position.

OP posts:
sadsister23 · 30/12/2023 00:21

How do finances work? Do you have an allowance? Do you feel guilty for spending 'his' money on expensive things for yourself eg haircuts, nails etc?

bedknobsandstickbrooms · 30/12/2023 00:21

Loopyloooooo · 30/12/2023 00:19

@Singleandproud I have a career I could get back into if I needed to and it's the type of job where they will always be short and bite your arm off if you want to return.

I have a life insurance and a pension.

Were you working long enough to pay a decent amount into your pension?

Or does your husband pay into it for you?

MindfullyAmazedHorse · 30/12/2023 00:23

Have you thought about therapy?

Original poster
Loopyloooooo · 30/12/2023 00:23

SouthLondonMum22 · 30/12/2023 00:18

What do you mean by DH rules the roost?

Are you religious?

Do you think you're setting a good example to your children? Especially if you have a daughter?

Show quote history

Not religious no. My children are two happy parents working hard to support each other and their well being. Id be very happy if any of my children has high flying careers or chose to stay at home to raise a family (so long as they can afford it and are happy of course).

OP posts:
mrsfollowill · 30/12/2023 00:23

Do you have equal access to family money or does DH decide when where and how the money is spent? Are there limits on what you are allowed to spend?
Do you 'have' to do what he tells you? Could you decide to go out for coffee with friends? Could you go for a night out with the girls or a holiday?
Do you have to pick up after him? ie does he put rubbish in the bin and his clothes in the laundry or leave stuff where he drops it?
Does he have any 'rules' you have to follow?
I find this whole movement strange from what I've seen of it- on TV only admittedly.

Whentheboatcomein · 30/12/2023 00:24

Do you post on social media as a “trad” wife and if so, do you worry about the connections the media are making between “trad” and right wing ideology?

Original poster
Loopyloooooo · 30/12/2023 00:24

MadamVastra · 30/12/2023 00:16

Is your husband ok with you being on mumsnet 😂

Haha yes 😆 altho he probably gets bored of me reading threads out to him 🤣.

OP posts:
Original poster
Loopyloooooo · 30/12/2023 00:25

AppleKatie · 30/12/2023 00:18

What would you do if his wage can’t keep up with inflation?

We're very lucky that this unlikely to happen in DHs career. But I do have a career to fall back on (again very lucky).

OP posts:
demonheed · 30/12/2023 00:26

What is the career you believe you can fall back on?