I'm queer. AMA?

[Throwaway4Water]

Using a throwaway account for this.

Hey Mumsnet, figured more queer rep was needed on this site.
I'm Genderfluid, which is under the trans umbrella and means my gender is fluid and changes often. I'm also Asexual, and currently questioning my romantic attraction.
Anything phobic will be ignored (I know what this site is like when it comes to trans people) as well as anything I deem too personal. Now, AMA! :)

Please tell us if you have a job, and if you don't, what your plans are.
I'm asking because you say you don't do much with your day.
I have found almost all concerns in life recede in importance with busyness and I highly recommend it.

Do you think you’ll ever consider getting pregnant and giving birth to a baby? Or would that be too much of a head fuck being genderfluid? The biological process of motherhood has become the cornerstone of my own identity as a woman. Tbh I really struggle to understand trans issues when it comes to pregnancy because to me that’s the real difference between men and women.

Do you have a job?

Can you give us an age range? Under 25? 25-35 etc

If you define your gendered appearance by having or hiding your breasts how do you define a woman who is naturally flat chested or may have needed to have breast reduction/removable for medical reasons?

I tend to wear baggy clothes quite regularly but don’t associate those with a gender, they’re simply my clothes.

Do you think ‘not doing much with your days’ right now is impacting how much time you have to think about all this?

What are your plans for the future, are you looking for work or to go into further/higher education?

@MumsnetMafia You mean ASD? Probably, but Autism and my Gender Identity/sexuality are not related for me. I know for some people they are(which there is a name for, but I can't remember what it is lol), but not all of them, and that's important to remember. I believe that neurodivergent people are less likely or able to hide gender impulses that may differentiate from their agab. But are neurodivergent people more likely to be queer bc they're neurodivergent? Nah, I think it just happens to be pointed out sooner bc of asking constant questions to themself and others. I know I did xD

Of course you didn't feel anythibg- you were a small child and it meant nothing. And pretty much all 11 year olds are asexual ion account of being children.

@Buythebag40 I figured I should mention all the queer parts of myself, or the questions would end up being "what's your sexuality?" and I don't wanna be answering 10 of the same question, y'know? If anyone has any questions on my Ace experience, what it's like or how it felt, etc. then I can answer then to the best of my ability (since it's an AMA). But everyone seems to be focusing on my gender identity instead, so I guess it doesn't matter that much ¯\(ツ)/¯

I asked this hours ago, well it seems hours lol

@Noonado It's not something I think about, everyone else's gender identity and sexuality is their business, not mine. But no, I don't, bc assuming things about other people doesn't do anything

Can anyone explain what agab is?

Means Assigned gender at birth.

I just had to look it up myself.

@ComtesseDeSpair As weird as it sounds, it starts off with me asking myself if I want to remember if I have breasts or not when I get dressed. If the answer is yes, then I put a bra on and go from there, if it's no then I put a binder on and go from there. It probably sounds really weird, but that's the quickest way I've worked it out. Then I get dressed, wearing more baggy clothes if I'm masc-leaning to cover up my chest even more. I can't really define the difference other than I just... know.

Thanks @vodkaredbullgirl

@CloseYourEyesAndSee Because I am queer🌈

@UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername Gender means a lot of different things to different people. It cannot be truly defined. And I don't know what gender you are

@doadeer Those are... two completely different things lol
It feels different in a way I can't describe unless you were me, there's not a way I can put into words tbh. I just... ask myself and my body answers back and I go "cool, guess I'm this today"

please don’t answer if it makes you uncomfortable but is there a correlation with your hormonal cycle and your sense of gender identity?

@TabithaTittlemouse If you're not interested then why did you take time to comment how clearly not interested you are?🤔
Buuuuut if I had to pick a favourite biscuit then I guess I'd say custard creams? Or wagon wheels, if they count lol

I'm hiding the thread. It's too hard to follow having to scroll back to try and find the question every time.

@Staynow I wear a binder on a masc day and don't on a femme day is the biggest difference. On the outside? Not much. Luckily my clothing taste is mostly jeans, t-shirts, and hoodies so I just put on whatever I feel like. I'm more likely to put on my glasses if I'm feeling masc bc they make me feel more masc. Dunno why, they just do xD
I also walk more hunched over when I'm masc (gotta hide that chest) and talk less bc my voice is quite high and it can give me voice dysphoria

Why do you think you have the right to enforce the language that other people use about you?

I take it asking what job do you have is far too personel 🙄

@vodkaredbullgirl Not in a paid job (yet) but I've done about half a year of volunteer work at a charity shop now, and I'm loving it. It rarely affects my work, I only have to deal with some coworkers accidentally using the wrong pronouns cuz I only recently came out at work.

How can you use the word gender if you can't define it? How we can be expected to understand what you're saying if you can't tell us what your words mean?

What does 'woman' mean?