I'm queer. AMA?

[Throwaway4Water]

Using a throwaway account for this.

Hey Mumsnet, figured more queer rep was needed on this site.
I'm Genderfluid, which is under the trans umbrella and means my gender is fluid and changes often. I'm also Asexual, and currently questioning my romantic attraction.
Anything phobic will be ignored (I know what this site is like when it comes to trans people) as well as anything I deem too personal. Now, AMA! :)

@Georgeskitchen I cannot speak for every LGBT+ person obviously, but I use it to help take it back from the people who aim to use it against us. They can't use as an insult if people don't think of it as one anymore, right? If I was talking to someone and they find it offensive, then I'd change my language to reflect that. A lot of LGBT+ people have had the term used against them, and I'm sorry that has happened to your friends. The main aim of normalising the word in the community itself is so we can prevent that same trauma from happening to the next generations of LGBT+ folks. At least for me, that's my aim.

Why do you feel the need to tell anyone who/what you are and who/what you prefer? Attention-seeking.

@Etinoxaurus then why did you take the time to comment if you're not interested? lol

Given that 99% of people don't wear pronoun badges, how do you distinguish between men and women?

@Clymene As long as said question is genuine and isn't telling me my gender or sexuality isn't real, etc., I'll answer it. Tho a lot of them have been the same two questions, so if your question is about "defining gender" or "appropriating the word queer" then just look in the replies lol

Can you define your sex?

@HermioneWeasley I use queer bc I am queer. Some (not all) use it for themselves to take it away as ammunition from homophobes and other hateful groups. Others still don't like it or use it, and that's fine too. It'll take a lot to unwind the damage and trauma it's done. And I don't appropriate racial slurs bc I'm white, and that's not my place to use them, even if I had good intentions.

"If someone finds the word offensive, that's okay!"

Gosh, that's very magnanimous of you there OP.

@RenegadeMatron I timed it badly, I posted it and then ate dinner okay? I'm working my way through now😅
Female gender is...? Male gender is...? I don't know really. I don't like to define it bc it can't be defined imo. Just "gender" is too vague. Gender Identity? Gender Expression? Or are you talking about something else?

@Miraclejelly Well I can't drive, so I guess it's not something I have to worry about? But I guess I'd get out of the car when it stops (while trying not to get run over obviously).

@Throwaway4Water The point is you’re not gay - it’s not ok to take a homophobic slur and try and normalise it. It’s the same as you deciding that the N word means something else now and you’re going to call yourself that, even though you’re not black.

it’s disgusting homophobic appropriation.

How can you identify as something you can't define?

@Throwaway4Water would you mind quoting the post you're answering please because it's hard to follow this thread.

@MargotMoon My preferred pronouns change (obviously) but the default is they/them, since I'm almost always using them alongside she/her or he/him if I'm using either of those too! I haven't really tried out any other pronouns, I experimented with it/its pronouns for a bit but I just didn't vibe with them too much. But also they/them can be used as singular and has been since the 14th century, I understand the struggle sometimes but it's not a new thing.

You said boy or girl, are you under 16?

I'm Genderfluid, which is under the trans umbrella and means my gender is fluid and changes often.

Isn't this at odds with the below though?

Female gender is...? Male gender is...? I don't know really. I don't like to define it bc it can't be defined imo.

I'm not asking as a 'gotcha', I genuinely don't understand how you can say both those things as they are at odds with each other?

What does bc mean?

It means 'because'

My pronouns aren't subjective like yours. They are sex based, and not based on whether I feel like a girl or a boy or neither. Why aren't your pronouns sex based?

Thank you. Thought ‘Queer bc’ was a new terminology I hadn’t heard of before!!

@LoudingVoice I mean, it's kinda hard to explain, but I just know now. I dress sort of differently, but mostly it's whether I put on a bra or a binder on, and how baggy my clothes are in order to cover up as much "femininity" as I can if need be. I don't wear make-up at all (but I do kinda wanna learn how to do it properly cuz why not) and I don't change the activities I do either. I may choose to not go for a walk at this time of year if I'm wearing a binder bc OOF HOT, but that's the limit really. I don't do much with my days right now 😅
I wear pronoun badges so everyone can tell what pronouns I'm using, and my friends and family are pretty good at using them and I love them so much for it! They don't treat me differently, just small tweaks in words used, especially with my parents getting used to calling me their "youngest child" instead of their "daughter".

@astersugar I'm an adult

@mumda Well, my "levels" (I assume you mean Gender Identity) change daily for the most part, but sometimes it'll stay the same for a few days before it changes. Tho I've had rare occasions where it's changed several times in the span of a few hours, which was awful lol
I haven't actually been attracted to anyone yet. It's why I used to think I was Aromantic for the longest time, but it's only in the last few months I've started to realise I may just be attracted to femininity (women and femme-leaning enbies, etc.) but only in a romantic sense. I'm definitely Asexual.

@PaddleBoardingMomma That's fine! Everyone is allowed to have a (genital) preference. But since I'm not a lesbian (or someone who even has a sexual preference at all), I don't think I'm the right person to ask really 😅