I used to be a sex worker, ask me anything
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 09/10/2020 20:08
For 12 years I worked as an escort, I also did occasional phone & cam work. I varied between working full time and part time, but around half was full time and the other half part time.
I've been put off doing one of these because of how they usually go but I'm always banging on about people making assumptions about sex workers and accepting stereotypes about us so I might as well.
To be clear, this is a thread for people who want to ask questions, not for people who just want to make a point about sex work or sex workers.
Anyway, if anybody cares...ask away
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 09/10/2020 22:07
Was there a typical type of man who contacted you, or were they from all backgrounds?
No typical background.
Also, were there a lot of married men?
A fair amount who said they were married but I wouldn't say it was a majority. I've no way of knowing though if they were lying though.
annieannietomjoe · 09/10/2020 22:10
A few questions if ok to add to the list....you said you had been doing SW for 12 years, what age were you when you started? And you said you called agencies cause you thought you could do it, what made you think that (if that's not too personal)?
And a logistics questions - where do you work from?
Thanks for this...great thread!
Leafyhouse · 09/10/2020 22:13
Do you think sex work should be taken more seriously as a profession? Should advice be given to young women starting out, i.e. start with porn, then move to webcam work, then maybe try your hand at lap-dancing, etc. etc.? It just seems that 'Sex Work' implies such a varied selection of jobs these days, this whole brushing under the carpet thing whilst bristling with moral outrage seems a tad old-fashioned. I think the millennials are just going to re-define it all their own way.
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 09/10/2020 22:15
Forgive me if it's been asked but in the 12 years you worked at this profession, what kind of impact did it have on your relationship/daily life with partners, family, children (if you have them)?
Actually not much, I had a lot more time for them.
I did lose some friends when they couldn't accept that I didn't want or need to be saved. It was very upsetting that they had accepted my friendship when I was an ex sex worker when we'd met (when I was on a work break), but couldn't accept I was the same person when I returned to work.
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 09/10/2020 22:18
Did phone and cam work dry up with Covid, naively I thought it may increase or are they a totally different type of client?
It didn't dry up, but it didn't get bigger to the extent where every man who has bought sex wanted to cam or phone chat. Some clients pay for sex in person and online, some only want online.
Gncq · 09/10/2020 22:18
For anyone interested
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 09/10/2020 22:21
I didn't like agency work because the agencies I worked for were terrible, as a lot of them are. I wouldn't have minded working for a set up like yours, but even then some people can feel awkward declining clients in that environment, or just want to speak to the clients themselves. I doubt if ever feel comfortable with other people taking bookings for me now I've been independent.
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 09/10/2020 22:36
How do you feel waking up knowing you have a few bookings? Did you look forward to it or dread it? Or somewhere in between?
Fine, usually. Better than facing 12 hours of other work. And the wonderful thing about independent work is that you can cancel them if you want.
Also, some feminists say that to do that type of work, you have to dissociate, which is like bringing on a mental illness. Do you agree with that?
I'm sure some sex workers do have to do that, and I feel for them terribly, but that doesn't mean all sex workers do. You don't have to dissociate, or be mentally ill, or any multitude of other stereotypes to be a sex worker. Equally, you don't have to like your job or be problem free to be a sex worker. We're all valid and don't deserve to be used as theoretical examples in feminist theory by women who've never met us and have never done a thing to make out lives better.
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 09/10/2020 22:40
Did any not want sex?
Very, very occasionally, but not often. Sex was my job, if they came to me not wanting it it'd be like ordering a steak in a vegan restaurant.
And if you have family, did they know what you did for work?
Yes, thanks to previously mentioned feminist friend trying to save me (by way of outing me!), although I'm pretty sure they knew already and just preferred it left unsaid.
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