I used to be a sex worker, ask me anything
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 09/10/2020 20:08
For 12 years I worked as an escort, I also did occasional phone & cam work. I varied between working full time and part time, but around half was full time and the other half part time.
I've been put off doing one of these because of how they usually go but I'm always banging on about people making assumptions about sex workers and accepting stereotypes about us so I might as well.
To be clear, this is a thread for people who want to ask questions, not for people who just want to make a point about sex work or sex workers.
Anyway, if anybody cares...ask away
RUOKHon · 27/11/2020 22:55
I don’t see how this thread helps either.
You sell sex to men. You are fine with that. You only choose the ‘good ones’. Good for you. I’m happy you haven’t been abused or trafficked.
I will always be on women’s side.
But as long as men think it’s their right to buy women’s bodies, that is a massive, massive problem. And I will continue to contest that.
And for that reason, I won’t call prostitution ‘work’. It’s not work. If your dad or brother lost their job, they wouldn’t think, ‘oh well I can just do some sex work until I get back on my feet’. When 18 year old Olivia gets 4 A* in her A Levels, her parents don’t suggest she does some sex work in the summer holidays to save up for her gap year.
It’s a transaction but it’s not a job.
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 27/11/2020 23:35
But as long as men think it’s their right to buy women’s bodies, that is a massive, massive problem. And I will continue to contest that
As will I and, I think, most sex workers, because men absolutely don't have the right to pay for sex. I completely agree with you there, but the fact that I used to sell sex and others continue to sell it doesn't mean anyone has a right to buy it. This is one of the reasons I get so upset when people tell sex workers they are 'selling their consent'- they absolutely are not and can withdraw it any time they like. It would be wonderful if we could be supported in this message so perhaps dangerous men would get the message that people will care if sex workers get harmed, because unfortunately at the moment that's just not the case.
And for that reason, I won’t call prostitution ‘work’. It’s not work. If your dad or brother lost their job, they wouldn’t think, ‘oh well I can just do some sex work until I get back on my feet’. When 18 year old Olivia gets 4 A in her A Levels, her parents don’t suggest she does some sex work in the summer holidays to save up for her gap year.
You could make those arguments about a lot of menial jobs, so I don't buy into the argument that's it's not a job simply because it's not something to aspire to. Having said that, I do believe it's different from other work, and not something everyone would or should consider doing. But again, that doesn't mean it's not work. If you don't like that it's work, fair enough, but denying it is just pointless and makes people like me question whether you actually are on our side.
I see that statement and I see you denying my autonomy, my consent and putting your beliefs over what's best for sex workers, and I'm not even slightly in the minority. I really don't mean to have a go at you, and I thank you for the dialogue, but if you want to support sex workers please listen to what they tell you they need, instead of what you think they need.
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 28/11/2020 00:13
I object to calling it sex work because I think that that language normalises it for men and just shores up their entitlement.
It's a term that sex workers ask people to use, and to be honest I'm more concerned with that. It's got nothing to do with what men think, or what you think. Other terms are derogatory and often stigmatising.
FeminismIsForALLWomen · 28/11/2020 10:13
Question - you mentioned that most of your male customers enjoyed positions of you being on top and missionary, what else would you say they enjoyed most?
Oral, going down on me, oral, something up their bum, oral, my fake orgasm's, oral, tit jobs and oral
Basically blow jobs
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