Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 ··· 11 12 13 14 15 16

AMA

I used to be a sex worker, ask me anything

385 replies

FeminismIsForALLWomen · 09/10/2020 20:08

For 12 years I worked as an escort, I also did occasional phone & cam work. I varied between working full time and part time, but around half was full time and the other half part time.

I've been put off doing one of these because of how they usually go but I'm always banging on about people making assumptions about sex workers and accepting stereotypes about us so I might as well.

To be clear, this is a thread for people who want to ask questions, not for people who just want to make a point about sex work or sex workers.

Anyway, if anybody cares...ask away

OP posts:

Thanks

Share

Report

Enrico · 13/10/2020 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Enrico · 13/10/2020 21:26

From all the typing, I mean.

Thanks

julietteb18 · 13/10/2020 21:26

Love this OP. We need to remove the stigma from sex work, only then will those individuals be protected from exploitation and harm.

It’s simple economics: supply and demand. I get very angry at anyone who judges sex workers who choose to do this.

I’ll be honest tho, secret diary of a call girl really idolised this for me haha!

Thanks

Enrico · 13/10/2020 21:27

Ffs.

Thanks

FeminismIsForALLWomen · 13/10/2020 21:34

We need to remove the stigma from sex work, only then will those individuals be protected from exploitation and harm.

Well this much is true.

It’s simple economics: supply and demand

The reasons why sex work exists are much more complicated than this.

I’ll be honest tho, secret diary of a call girl really idolised this for me haha!

I wouldn't say that show is particularly representative to most sex workers although Dr Brooke Magnanti has some excellent insights and her book Sex, Lies and Statistics is well worth a read.

OP posts:

Thanks

FeminismIsForALLWomen · 13/10/2020 21:41

@Enrico If you think it's a false equivalence that's really only your opinion, since the similarity between the examples is that they are all work. If you don't personally think sex work is work then fair enough, but it is work in reality whether you like it or not.

Regardless of your opinion there, this stands:

It's not ok to take a part of someone's work that you personally find unpalatable and use that as a reason to pretend their work is not work. It's also not ok to use it as an insult.

OP posts:

Thanks

Enrico · 13/10/2020 21:45

If being fucked for money is the same as cooking pizza then everything is ok, surely?

Thanks

Enrico · 13/10/2020 21:48

@julietteb18 I suggest you look at the experiences of women in Holbeck if you want an indication of how protected they are by legalising prostitution there.

To be clear: they are not protected at all.

Thanks

FeminismIsForALLWomen · 13/10/2020 21:49

If being fucked for money is the same as cooking pizza then everything is ok, surely?

I haven't said that being fucked (or fucking) for money is the same as cooking pizza for money. I've said that they are both work, however different they may be, and that using something about that work as an insult is not ok just because it's something that you would not want to do.

OP posts:

Thanks

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 13/10/2020 21:50

What do you think about Epstein and Maxwell?

Thanks

FeminismIsForALLWomen · 13/10/2020 21:55

@julietteb18 I suggest you look at the experiences of women in Holbeck if you want an indication of how protected they are by legalising prostitution there.

@Enrico I suggest you look at the opinions of the women who currently work there, the independent review recently held, and the results of the previous system in Holbeck and what it's affect was on sex workers (it was bad enough to change to a managed zone).

To be clear: They are better protected than they were before and are as well protected as they can currently be within UK law considering soliciting is illegal. I certainly hope all feminists advocate for soliciting to be decriminalised.

OP posts:

Thanks

Enrico · 13/10/2020 21:58

But everything is the same as everything else so all views are valid and all bets are off.

Cooking pizza is the same as prostitution. Controlling drones over Syria is the same as performing open heart surgery. Drilling through Alaska is the same as working in a nursery. It's all work and all the same and all equally valid.

Ofc the downside of such vapid nonsense is that I can also say whatever the fuck I like as there are no value judgements to be had.

Until Mumsnet deletes my post. Again. After you report it. Again.

Thanks

FeminismIsForALLWomen · 13/10/2020 21:59

What do you think about Epstein and Maxwell?

I think they're cunts.

OP posts:

Thanks

Haffdonga · 13/10/2020 22:03

OP you said you wouldn't recommend it to other women. Why not?

Thanks

Enrico · 13/10/2020 22:07

The "independent" review was cobbled by the council not wanting to admit they are wrong. Holbeck is a shitshow. A woman was murdered there in the first month of it being "managed". There are numerous rapes and assaults because men know they can get away with anything as the police aren't policing. Residents have lost their businesses as no one will go there, and are unsafe as the entire area is full of the kind of men who rent drug addicts and know they can do so because it's legal. The prostitutes and residents who facing insane levels of risk in the name of "empowerment" when the only people who are empowered are men who rent orifices.

Thanks

FeminismIsForALLWomen · 13/10/2020 22:11

@Enrico Again, I haven't said that sex work is the same as other work, I've simply said that it's work. If you have negative opinions on sex work or sex workers then fair enough, but your opinion is not fact.

OP posts:

Thanks

FeminismIsForALLWomen · 13/10/2020 22:18

OP you said you wouldn't recommend it to other women. Why not?

@Haffdonga It's a deeply personal and intimate way to work. Nobody really knows they will react to it before they do it. Most people have to lie to people they know about what they are doing because a lot of people have horrible opinions of sex workers, and that can be very difficult. If they choose to be honest (or even if they don't) the stigma can be unbearable.

There are lots of negatives to sex work even if someone is working safely, but essentially it's just impossible to know if someone will be able to have sex for money. I'll support anyone who chooses to become a sex worker on their own, but if someone asked me if they should become one I'd never say yes, it's a personal decision.

OP posts:

Thanks

MoseShrute · 13/10/2020 22:28

I come across sex workers in my job (health professional) Every single one has either a history of sexual trauma/drug addiction or trafficking. This is an intrusive question but to be fair, you volunteered this AMA and have been very candid, so can l ask, do you have experiences of sexual abuse when younger?

Thanks

FeminismIsForALLWomen · 13/10/2020 22:29

A woman was murdered there in the first month of it being "managed".

@Enrico You can't be ignorant of the reason why it became a managed zone though? Or do the many women murdered and harmed under the previous system not register with you? Does what the women who currently work there say not matter to you?

I care that the women who work in the zone are safe, that they are able to report assaults to the police and that they aren't pushed into more dangerous situations where they have no way to negotiate.

It's not perfect, but it's the best that can happen within the law. I've previously said I have absolutely no respect for men who buy sex from vulnerable street workers, but I accept that the workers safety is more important than slapping the wrists of kerb crawlers.

OP posts:

Thanks

FeminismIsForALLWomen · 13/10/2020 22:36

I come across sex workers in my job (health professional) Every single one has either a history of sexual trauma/drug addiction or trafficking. This is an intrusive question but to be fair, you volunteered this AMA and have been very candid, so can l ask, do you have experiences of sexual abuse when younger?

No.

What job do you do?

OP posts:

Thanks

FeminismIsForALLWomen · 13/10/2020 22:43

@MoseShrute I hope my question isn't inappropriate, since you're not volunteering for an ama, but I'm interested to know if you see a diverse demographic or not.

Looking at my reply it seems very short, but it wasn't intended that way, I just had nothing to elaborate on.

OP posts:

Thanks

serenegiraffe · 13/10/2020 23:04

@FeminismIsForALLWomen
Sorry op another question: what happens if they only last 30 seconds? Do they stay and chat or slither off hanging their head in shame? And do they shower before they go home?
Feel sorry for anyone who slept with my ex...an hour of “it might go hard if you suck it” followed by 20 seconds of frantic 90mph pumping then he’d often fart as he reached his goal

Thanks

MoseShrute · 13/10/2020 23:05

I currently work in mental health (and have done so for many years), but previously did a 9 month spell in GUM. In both jobs the populations l worked with were diverse. I also knew, on a personal level, a high class escort. I say "high class" in that she presented as "posh" for want of a better word, and had rich clients in expensive hotels as opposed to dodgy blokes on street corners. Her childhood was blighted by sexual abuse.

Thanks

madcatladyforever · 13/10/2020 23:08

Sorry I can't read the entire thread as it's so long so I do hope you haven't been asked this already.
How do you feel when you get a really ugly, sweaty, basically revolting man with terrible breath/teeth because I know I would run away screaming.

Thanks

madcatladyforever · 13/10/2020 23:10

Feel sorry for anyone who slept with my ex...an hour of “it might go hard if you suck it” followed by 20 seconds of frantic 90mph pumping then he’d often fart as he reached his goal

Oh my God, now I have this stuck in my head all night, pass the brain bleach

Thanks

Flip

1 2 ··· 11 12 13 14 15 16

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.