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AMA

I stayed with my DH after his long term affair.

240 replies

Fochit · 08/02/2020 22:07

AMA.

Hoping this may help others 😊

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puds11 · 08/02/2020 22:08

Why did you stay? Can you trust him?

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YouJustDoYou · 08/02/2020 22:08

How long has it been post-affair?

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AtrociousCircumstance · 08/02/2020 22:09

That’s a lot of betrayal to swallow.

Years and years of abject betrayal.

Why do you think he deserves forgiveness?

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KipperBang · 08/02/2020 22:09

Have you been together a very long time beforehand?

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Wowsers11 · 08/02/2020 22:10

How do you learn to trust again? Do you have an practical and emotional tips that worked for you?

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Fochit · 08/02/2020 22:11

I stayed because I felt that leaving could be the biggest mistake of my life.

No, I don’t trust him 100%, but I would never ever trust anyone 100% ever again.

5 years

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Whatsnewpussyhat · 08/02/2020 22:11

Why didn't you tell him to fuck off with his OW?

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Fochit · 08/02/2020 22:13

Because despite what happened, I didn’t think he deserved to lose everything.

We have been together 25 years.

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Whatsnewpussyhat · 08/02/2020 22:14

I stayed because I felt that leaving could be the biggest mistake of my life

Leaving what? Him or the life you had?

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HollowTalk · 08/02/2020 22:14

Did he tell you about the affair or did you discover it?

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AnneLovesGilbert · 08/02/2020 22:15

What is the everything he’d have lost? Didn’t you feel that he’d made his choices by betraying you?

Did he love her? Did you know her? What were his reasons for doing it?

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AtrociousCircumstance · 08/02/2020 22:15

Why didn’t he deserve to lose everything? You’ve lost the ability to ever trust anyone, ever again.

Which means he has damaged your soul.

But you didn’t want him to have to deal with thw reality of what he did?

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Fochit · 08/02/2020 22:17

Practical tips?
To live my best life.
To focus on me.
I will never be on the same position I was before.
I’m stronger, wiser, knowledge is power

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Thankssomuch · 08/02/2020 22:17

You don’t think he deserved to lose everything. What about what you deserve?

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OhLook · 08/02/2020 22:17

Why did you think leaving him would be a big mistake? Tbh I'm guessing it's because your lifestyle would have to change.

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Andsbk · 08/02/2020 22:17

I will never leave my husband if he is having an affair...🙄

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Fochit · 08/02/2020 22:18

So many questions!

I didn’t tell him to fuck off because I wanted him and he didn’t want the OW

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OhLook · 08/02/2020 22:18

Why did you want him?

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zsazsajuju · 08/02/2020 22:18

Is there a financial reason you didn’t leave?

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Wowsers11 · 08/02/2020 22:19

Thanks for the practical tips. What about the trust? Has your lifestyle changed much? I presume he had enough time alone to have this affair so is that now limited?

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OhLook · 08/02/2020 22:19

What help are you hoping this thread will give people?

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FlowerArranger · 08/02/2020 22:19

Long term = ???

How involved was he with the OW? Were they 'in luv'... Was he at any time considering leaving you?

Would you do it again.... any regrets?

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puds11 · 08/02/2020 22:20

Or he told you he didn’t want her...

Do you feel judged for staying?

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ivykaty44 · 08/02/2020 22:21

If he didn’t want the OW why was he having an affair with her?

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Bluntness100 · 08/02/2020 22:21

Do you mean he didn't want her any more?

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