Im becoming a surrogate, AMA

[HotPotatoBlessMySoul]

Just had first transfer in hopes of becoming a surrogate for a friend.
Ask away.

I have a few questions, I hope you don't mind.

Are you being paid at all?

Is it 100% genetically their baby?

Do you have dc of your own?

Is there a contract in place? If yes, what does it cover?

What made you want to do this?

Asking as I've been considering a surrogacy option and someone close to me has recently offered.
Thank you

What happens if the baby is born prematurely or has disabilities will they still take the baby ?

Did you offer or did they ask?
Are you carrying for a gay couple or a straight couple?

There was a case of a surrogate in the USA who died leaving behind her own DC.

Again, will the child be genetically yours?

Do you have DC of your own and understand the bond you will form with this child?

Do you think it is morally acceptable for wombs to be for rent.

Are you being paid at all?
Yes.

Is it 100% genetically their baby?
Sperm and egg donor.
Not related to me in the slightest.

Do you have dc of your own?
It’s recommended you have your own children first. Ive finished my family so yes.

Is there a contract in place? If yes, what does it cover?
Erm.... things like I’m getting health insurance paid for. In event of anything awful happening in labour and it’s me or the baby, is agreed my life is to be paramount.
Payment agreement. Expenses. Petrol, vitamins, time off for appointments.
It’s their choice to terminate if they aren’t happy with any of the Down’s syndrome etc testing.

What made you want to do this?
My friend asked me. I love being able to give him and his husband a family.

What happens if the baby is born prematurely or has disabilities will they still take the baby ?

Yes. They will. It’s on the contract.

Did you offer or did they ask?
Are you carrying for a gay couple or a straight couple?

They asked, I’d never considered anything like it.
A gay couple.

Do you have any worries about becoming a surrogate?

would you have done it without pay?

I admire you what a great thing to do

Have you seen the recent story where a surrogate died during childbirth?

There was a case of a surrogate in the USA who died leaving behind her own DC.
Heartbreaking and one of my husbands fears.

Again, will the child be genetically yours?
Nope. Nothing to do with me. I’m just the carrier.

Do you have DC of your own and understand the bond you will form with this child?
They are young both under 4 and if the pregnancy test is positive I will explain, we are having this baby as a gift for uncle Cameron and uncle Mitchell.

Do you think it is morally acceptable for wombs to be for rent.
I think it’s totally dependent on situation. I’m not doing this for money, though it helps, but for my friend (and his lovely husband) who I’ve known since we were small and I love.

There was a case of a surrogate in the USA who died leaving behind her own DC.

Doesn’t that bother you?

Do you have any worries about becoming a surrogate?

Big fears are, something happening is child birth. But that could happen if I had a third for us.
I’m 99.9% I’ll be ok handing baby straight over but you can’t be sure.
Counselling will be put in place for after regardless.

And I hate morning sickness.

Why surrogacy instead of adoption?

would you have done it without pay?
Yes, however I wouldn’t pay for the drugs needed nor the petrol or time from work etc.
He insisted.

Have you seen the recent story where a surrogate died during childbirth?

No and I don’t intend to. think Of how many births go well. I’m going with awareness and a positive attitude.
And we all agree any choose between my life and baby’s it’s mine that gets saved.

Was the use of Cameron and Mitchel as example names intentional 😁😁 (I love modern family)

Presumably not their actual names - great coincidence if they are haha

Why surrogacy instead of adoption?

Their choice, not mine.

What happens to the baby if both dads, for example, die in a car accident before delivery

Thanks for answering my question.

Like a pp, I'm also wondering why they went for surrogacy instead of adoption, if you happen to know. I'm aware some couples in the UK say the adoption rules have become too hard to navigate, but clearly you're not in the UK.

Bless you OP. MN seems be to strangely against surrogacy but there is a big difference between what you are doing and those who are forced into it with no contract/support etc.

Giving a baby to those who are unable is a huge gift. Having seen friends go through infertility and being so desperate for a baby they cannot have, I think surrogacy is amazing.

There was a case of a surrogate in the USA who died leaving behind her own DC. Death in labour can occur whether the baby is for you, or for someone else.

Was the use of Cameron and Mitchel as example names intentional 😁😁 (I love modern family)

Presumably not their actual names - great coincidence if they are haha

😁 Yes. * names changed to protect identities.

Will you be a part of the baby’s life? Presumably as a friend’s child you will see them? Will they be told you gave birth to them? Will you be treated as/referred to any differently to any other friend of the couple?

Did you feel under pressure to say yes because they asked?

You said you would never have offered, so when they asked did you feel you really couldn’t say no?