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AMA
Original poster

I'm God. AMA

299 replies

RealGod · 30/06/2018 18:02

Trying to be hip with the kids and the internet seems to be the main form of communication these days, beats carving shit into stone tombs anyday.

AMA.

Got about an hour before I gotta get back to work, got my main man Jegudiel manning the post right now.

OP posts:
Original poster
RealGod · 30/06/2018 19:47

Women have periods because men couldn't handle them. Take it as a compliment.

OP posts:
Rainydaydog · 30/06/2018 19:49

Can't men have a go at them for a few millenia or so? I think it would do them good.

Original poster
RealGod · 30/06/2018 19:50

I'm sure they just mistook your flirty personality for something more ... professional. Nothing to do with hanging around with apostles a lot at night in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Can you make your famous tuna salad please?

OP posts:
AtreidesFreeWoman · 30/06/2018 19:51

Whose the coolest angel?

Original poster
RealGod · 30/06/2018 19:52

Rainy I trialed men having periods and giving birth. The birth rate dropped to almost zero and all they did was sob.
The only species that handled it relatively well was the seahorse. Tough little buggers.

OP posts:
TheRealVirginMary · 30/06/2018 19:53

Where the hell is my child maintenance you deadbest?

Original poster
RealGod · 30/06/2018 19:53

The coolest Angel is Barachiel. He's the Angel of Saturday's so he is always lit.

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borntobequiet · 30/06/2018 19:55

Very poor, 0/10, you didn’t even Google it.

Call yourself omniscient? Nah.

Original poster
RealGod · 30/06/2018 19:55

This is turning into an episode of Jezza Kyle.

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Original poster
RealGod · 30/06/2018 19:56

Born why would I need to Google something I created? What was written in the bible wasn't written by me.

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borntobequiet · 30/06/2018 19:56

Well 1/10 on reflection for spelling.

Original poster
RealGod · 30/06/2018 19:57

resists the urge to smite you

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borntobequiet · 30/06/2018 19:57

Someone else wrote the Bible, but I wrote the mark scheme. HTH.

RealJesus · 30/06/2018 19:58

Just as well we don't have any misogynistic slut shaming practices here in heaven huh.

COW.

RealJesus · 30/06/2018 19:58

Oh god, I wasn't talking about you Mum.

Urbanbeetler · 30/06/2018 20:01

What are your favourite biscuits?

Original poster
RealGod · 30/06/2018 20:02

Don't take my name in vain.

OP posts:
Original poster
RealGod · 30/06/2018 20:03

Malted milks.
Or those Maryland chunky chocolate dipped cookie doohickeys.

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TeaAndBisquits · 30/06/2018 20:08

What's your favourite flavour of crisp, oh mighty one?

RealMaryMagdalene · 30/06/2018 20:10

I'm vegan now, only things with no feeling! Shall I whip up something plant based?

We all know the Gethsemane boys were a bit envious of your son and I having our lovely close bond. I had to remind him to keep up with the lepers and it was my idea to have that fish supper dinner for everyone, he wanted romantic nights in with candles and whatnot all the time. I am a social butterfly, it's true, you know me so well.

His friends weren't so happy and that's why they rewrote my story in their gospels.

I think making me a hooker was a bit of an overreaction though!

Original poster
RealGod · 30/06/2018 20:12

That's a tough one.

Stand alone then I'd say salt and vinegar.

On a butty, ready salted.

With a drink walkers Thai sweet chilli.

OP posts:
Rainydaydog · 30/06/2018 20:16

Would you consider smiting the prawn cocktail flavour?

Original poster
RealGod · 30/06/2018 20:20

No. They have their days too. All crisps are important.

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Original poster
RealGod · 30/06/2018 20:21

Except chicken flavour. They are just GROSS.

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OutwiththeOutCrowd · 30/06/2018 20:26

God, I'd like to know if you created life on other planets. It seems like an awfully big universe to conjure up just to populate one teeny planet.

And - bonus question - does heaven have its longueurs? I can't help but think that human beings are designed to enjoy the odd pleasant lull rather than perpetual bliss. Is it not a bit tedious being happy all the time?