DH's comment about my bikini has really knocked my confidence

I understand why you're upset but really, that's the "fault" of the weight you've gained, not what he said.

Ah I’m so sorry op, I think men think they’re helping. He shouldn’t have said anything

Surely if it was too tight, you would've just changed by yourself? The comment does seem to be a bit mean and unnecessary to me. It's also disappointing that he can't just say sorry about hurting your feelings instead of trying to minimise them.

I don't get why he thinks he can give a better assessment of whether your bikini fits you than you can, ie the person actually wearing it

I’d want my husband to tell me if I didn’t look nice in an outfit, but if you’d rather your husband not tell you then this is the perfect time to discuss it so he won’t tell you again. I’d tell my husband if his clothes looked tight and were digging in, I would be telling him matter of factly not in an unkind way.

I think you can be the judge of whether your own clothes are comfortable or not so he should’ve kept his mouth shut. Regardless of whatever he says his intentions were, it upset you and he should be able to accept that and apologise

You wore something that was too small and your partner pointed it out. Of course your confidence is knocked but I don’t think he has done anything wrong. Our bodies change, and that is normal but it can be difficult.

It doesn’t sound like he was being unkind. You say yourself you’re heavier than when you bought it and maybe it did look like it was digging in? No one can say but you and him but if you’re much heavier it’s very plausible that it doesn’t fit anymore and you’ve squeezed into it. Him pointing it out was clumsy but sounds like it wasn’t nasty.
Bodies come in all sizes and many fluctuate over the years, don’t be hard yourself and enjoy your holiday

Why should he apologise when the issue is OP having an unreasonable response to his comment? He hasn’t done any wrong and plenty of people value a partner having an honest opinion, me included. If I look bad in something I expect him to tell me and vice versa. The issue here is OP sensitivity.

You've said "I came out of the bathroom ready to go and I saw DH give me a funny look.I asked him what was wrong and he said "Nothing", but I said "No, what is it?"Eventually he said, "I was just surprised you were wearing that bikini."

You quizzed him until he eventually gave you an answer you didn't like and then you got upset. You shouldn't have asked.

Well as the op felt comfortable in it then it clearly wasn’t too tight was it. His opinion wasn’t asked for so he should have kept his mouth shut. Really not that difficult.

I don't get it. You said yourself it felt tighter. He said it looked tight.

🤷‍♀️

If OP felt truly comfortable I doubt his comments would have had as much impact

He was being pressed for an answer, and gave his honest opinion. I don't see what he did wrong.

I would always rather my husband tell me if something looked a bit off so I could change and I know he’d appreciate the same honesty from me.

Again it obviously wasn’t if the op felt comfortable in it. It’s not for anyone else to make that judgement for her and certainly not anyone on the internet who have no way of knowing what it looked like on anyway.

I can’t see much wrong with what he said. Sometimes it’s hard to be objective about our own appearance.

I’d have put it on before the holiday tbh, and asked him ‘does this look ok?’ if I wasn’t sure. Much better to get an honest opinion than a fake one.

It was asked when he said no nothing and she pushed for an answer.

He is going to have thoughts. He decided to keep quiet. She pushed twice for his thoughts. She said herself it felt tighter. But when it was uttered from him it was terrible?

She obviously has low self esteem/confidence around this (I am in the same boat). If I ask my husband he will deffo say I am not the same weight as I used to be and if I wore something that looked loose before and is tight now and ask him what he thinks he will say looks tighter.

Honesty is not unkindness. But if you aren't ready for the honesty don't go pushing for it in a matter you are not ready to hear it.

Rubbish. Good grief no wonder men continue to body shame women when it appears there are plenty of other women ready to enable them. Disgusted at some of the responses here. The op felt comfortable in it and though it looked good so that is the only opinion worth anything.

I would definitely want dh to tell me as well rather than me walking around like a fool. If you also said that it was tight then he wasn’t making it up.
Funny enough I also put on my costume this year and it felt tighter, I also put on a little weight. Asked dh and he told me. I don’t see what the big deal is. I’ve also told him when something doesn’t look good on him.

Right there in the OP- “It's definitely tighter than it used to be”.

OP knows it was too tight, he made the same observation.

He hasn’t said anything nasty here, just factual.

I have always said to my DH to please tell me if I'm wearing something that looks bad. I'd so much prefer that to people judging me. It sounds like he wasn't critisising, but was on your side.

But that’s her opinion and he has his own. I also have my opinions on dh at times and tell him.

Lots of people are sensitive about their weight, I don’t think the OP is having an unreasonable response by telling her husband she was upset by his comment about something she’s self conscious about. Different if it was hairstyle or lipstick or something she could change in the moment, but she was feeling good, trying to be confident and he said she looked silly. Everyone is different I guess in how honest they want their partner to be but I sympathise with OP

Tighter than it used to be doesn't necessarily mean too tight. If it was too tight then surely OP would've been uncomfortable and changed anyway?