DH's comment about my bikini has really knocked my confidence

Could it be something that you might miss yourself when checking in the mirror that other people might see and comment on (a bit too much side boob popping out or ill fitting bottoms giving too much away)? As a younger woman I had a bright pink bikini I thought I looked fab in in the bathroom mirror but once away from the all inclusive resort badly lit bathroom it was completely see through! My friend had to tell me! Your husband didn't say he was surprised to see you in a bikini, he said THAT bikini. As in the bikini is the problem not you.

Just loose some weight if you feel like you need to or buy proper fitting clothes. There’s a size for everyone. Doesn’t sound like your husband said anything wrong. Also you’d think he’d just say sorry he hurt your feelings but lots of men are emotionally deficient anyway. Not surprised.

The concept, yes. How it applies here, not a fucking clue.

It was completely solicited.

I would be very surprised if any of the women in here would be so rational and logical about it if they had gained weight and their partners did the same to them. It's hurtful he shouldn't have done that, he should be more sensitive and if you said that to him, for example about a pair of pants pointing out a gut or something I highly doubt that he would be thrilled by it. These types of honesty first men don't seem to be so keen when they are on the receiving end of the truth I've found,

Better your DH tell you discretely that e.g you find out you had a massive camel toe when you look back at holiday photos.

Men can't win though can they!

He wasn’t as tactful as you, and most women, would have liked. I sympathise.
But maybe this is the nudge you need to take control, cut out the UPFs, get a smaller plate and lose that extra weight? I speak as a woman in my 50s, and from your 40s it gets really really hard to keep the weight off. You’re at a big advantage being in your 20s, and now is the time! Otherwise your 40s and 50s will be really miserable, and it impacts your health and mobility at my age, not just how you look on holiday…

My DH and I have made a pact to tell each other if an item of clothing really does look dodgy. He went through a phase of thinking he was a medium so all his tops looked like cropped tops on him so I did say something. Same when he went through his head to toe pastel phase.
He said the same to me when I bought some white (see through) trousers.

She asked him multiple times until he told her,

If he insisted I told him then I'd be honest and tell him it's too tight. Hell, I'd tell him anyway. There's this wild concept in marriage called honesty, and caring about each other. Surprised at how many people here don't seem to have this kind of relationship

She asked because he looked at her funny. He didn’t look at her and break into a grin and say ‘you look great’.

Her interpretation of his look. He may have had wind.

😂

A proper fitting bikini would do your confidence the world of good and then any comments your H or anyone else made would be water-off-a-ducks back. This comment hurt because deep-down you knew he was probably right.

The bikini does sound unsuitable if it didnt fit you and was far too tight. I don't think your DH did anything wrong by pointing this out.

Good god. Why do women continue to come to MN looking for reassurance when it's an issue related to being overweight?

Because you won't find much support from the 'sisterhood' on this subject. The general consensus is usually 'well yes, you're fat, you know you're fat, what are you going to do about it?' And they have little tolerance for what they deem to be 'excuses'.

This would be the last place I'd come for weight gain related sympathy.

Can’t lie I’ve not looked at the comments since OP but what I would say is that from the small insight you’ve given I genuinely don’t think it’s him intentionally being nasty, e.g. I’m 34yo now have been with my DH for 10years and know myself that all these years down the line I’ve also put on weight (now approx. 10st at 5ft 5inch) I look MUCH better in a swimsuit than I do in a bikini and would hope that my DH as someone who loves me would let me know what I look best in and not lie to me re something that doesn’t really do me any favours. Xx

You would have felt bad and self conscious if the bikini felt tight and uncomfortable during the day. Just get something in your size if you have gained weight.

What sympathy are we supposed to give? He thought it looked too tight, and told her when she nagged him to?
She's only upset because it was too tight. Man tells truth to wife when asked is not something we need to rally "the sisterhood" for!

😂 😂Never change MN.

Just seen this and don’t mean this to sound nasty but the chances are (and you’re not alone) that the bikini isn’t making you look your best and someone who loves you has decided not to lie to you by pretending it does

You pushed and pushed him for a response. So actually it was solicited feedback.

Ive had to gently tell DH before that his “going out” shirts no longer fit as the buttons were straining and it looked terrible. Obviously I didn’t phrase it like that. He has also gently told me something no longer fitted post two pregnancies.

No issues.

Honestly, I would rather my DH just tell me if something looks too tight. There are times the information may sting but my problem is with the fact I gained a bit of weight. I would and do tell him the same.

Exactly. Isn't this what couples do?