Dp and I booked our wedding in jan. Everyone very happy and excited. Kids told their mum (who is lovely) and she pointed out that when they had separated 12 years ago they had never actually got divorced. Dp says he can’t actually remember this but yes, it turns out they are still married.
He started divorce proceedings back in jan, but it’s now looking increasingly likely that it won’t be completed for our wedding in July. We have to give notice to get married in June.
I have been hassling him to call the company he’s using to manage it all last week and finally does so yesterday - he tells them that I am on his case about it, and then as it becomes apparent on the phone that we are unlikely to be able to get married in July, says he is about to waste £30k.
I’m gutted - our invites went out this week, his comment about me being on his case (why isn’t he eager to get it sorted himself!) about how there was no mention of how much he wants to marry me - just that he will lose £30k.
He didn’t come to bed last night, and this morning I’ve not been able to stop crying which he is angry about. He’s invited his pregnant daughter and ex wife around this morning and I said please don’t as I don’t want to see anyone - to which He replied well it’s my house too. His daughter I’m struggling with as we lost a baby last year and I haven’t got pregnant again. I’ve just heard them arrive so he obviously ignored me and now I feel trapped upstairs in my own home.
We normally have an idyllic life, he’s not normally a cock (though he has had his moments)
I don’t know what to do or how to feel. I know we are lucky, but the £30k on the wedding isn’t much compared to income, so whilst it is a waste - he normally wouldn’t even bat an eyelid at it. His bloody wife is sat downstairs ffs.
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Relationships
I think I need to cancel my wedding
Wouldyoubabys · 07/04/2022 11:11
You poor thing.
He does not sound kind and loving.
He also sounds as if he doesn't want to marry you.
I can imagine that is very painful for you but I would not think someone who would speak of you so rudely is someone to be marrying.
Im so sorry.
Honestly I know you're distraught now, but I think he might have done you a favour long term. He knew he was married, and was apparently prepared to commit bigamy, leaving you in a whole heap of potential trouble.
He doesn't really care about you. If you want to marry someone, that someone should be your absolute number one top priority. You're not his I'm afraid. He doesn't even care enough about your feelings now over your baby loss. 
You deserve better. Please re-evaluate this relationship.
Oh OP.
In life, people tell and show us who they are- it’s down to us to believe it.
Honestly, this is a blessing. He doesn’t sound like a nice person, forget cancelling the wedding, CANCEL THE RELATIONSHIP!
The Universe has given you this gift (the situation) now is the time to think what do you want.
If you’re still not convinced, write a list of pros and cons about this man and pros and cons of the relationship.
You will see - what you WANT and what you HAVE here is not aligned.
I wish you all the best - there’s no shame only joy in choosing yourself
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