Dating thread 223; Fresh starts and love hearts

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
   
2. Develop a thick skin.
   
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
   
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
   
5. Trust your gut instinct.
   
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
   
7. Know your worth.
   
8. If it's not fun, stop.
   
9. Loo update is mandatory.
   

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

[scorpiogirly]

Placemarking. Just signed up but no potential dates yet.

[Eesha]

placemarking! Thanks @ButterflyOfShay

[ButterflyOfShay]

The love hearts are for you and MrMusic @Eesha 🥰🥰

[ButterflyOfShay]

And Bella!! 💕

[Rosewaterblossom]

Place marking 🙂

[BelladiMamma]

Hi everyone 💘

Still smitten here. MrDublin is a superstar and we have just clicked. Both somewhat amazed and I'm pleased I carried on with the apps - with my thicker skin and better boundaries and 'quick chat or meet' philosophy.

Keeping expectations in check but loving every moment.

Good luck to everyone else, on or off the apps and looking forward to our meet ... which hopefully I can make at least a part of ...

[BelladiMamma]

And, thanks for the new thread 🧵 @ButterflyOfShay 🦋

[HairyArsedMan]

Following on from the last thread, WhatsApp has never been wank-worthy for me. I’m probably holding it wrong.

Umm, changing the subject, I’m sure this will resonate with a few of you:

[Daydreamscometrue]

@HairyArsedMan you must be holding it wrong. I had what I deemed to be a mildly flirtatious chat with a guy on watsap after which he confessed he'd had five wanks!

Looking back I was much more naive. Of course he had no plans to actually meet for a drink and the next time he messaged, casually dropping in the fact he was in bed I deleted him.

[BelladiMamma]

[quote HairyArsedMan]Following on from the last thread, WhatsApp has never been wank-worthy for me. I’m probably holding it wrong.

Umm, changing the subject, I’m sure this will resonate with a few of you:

[/quote]
That video is hilarious 😂

As someone who has many allergies I am HARD relating. But I'm emotionally non allergic. I'm utterly articulate and ALWAYS get my thoughts out when needed in the correct order at the right time and in the right way.

[HairyArsedMan]

@Daydreamscometrue Five eh ? Shame you didn’t tell us about that here, you could have send this back to him:

[ButterflyOfShay]

@Daydreamscometrue 5 wanks 🤣🤣 5 times a charm eh!!

[Wherearethefish]

Hi Everyone, hope 2022 is everything you all hope it will be.

I've just joined this thread. I was in a 10-year relationship which ended badly 3 years ago.

I haven't dated since it ended but a few days ago joined Bumble. It's all a bit hard going though sifting through people and messaging or being ignored after matching but I'll persevere for now. Should I be on several sites or are the same men on all the sites?

It's nice to hear that some people are clicking with people. I feel it's too late for me so I love all the happy stories that give me hope.

I work from home so don't meet anyone when my child is at school and my child doesn't overnight with him (ExH choice). So it'll have to be coffee dates for me.

Do nice men over 40 want a single mum over 40? Should I only go for men with kids as we'll have more in common? Are men without kids put off by single parents?

Good luck everyone!

[ButterflyOfShay]

@HairyArsedMan that’s actually not a bad little tune!! A bit 80s 🤣🤣

[scorpiogirly]

I've joined bumble too @Wherearethefish. I know what you mean about sifting through the profiles. I do about 10 left swipes and get off there because I can't take anymore at that time. I am 40 with a 3.5yr old daughter so in the same boat really.

[Daydreamscometrue]

I think a lot of the same men are on these sites. I've seen the same ones on Bumble and Hinge.

Not sure about the children subject. Some seem accepting and others not so. That's if the conversation even gets that far!

[Wherearethefish]

Good luck @scorpiogirly. It's comforting to know I'm not alone.
Are you incognito on Bumble or out there? I went incognito today.

My parameters are wide.

It's early days so I hope I'll get used to the swiping. I do long to meet someone lovely by chance though..

[scorpiogirly]

Thank you @Wherearethefish, good luck to you too.

I didn't know you could go incognito, how do you do that? Does that mean they can't see your photos?

[dancemom]

Checking in

[Wherearethefish]

@Daydreamscometrue

I think a lot of the same men are on these sites. I've seen the same ones on Bumble and Hinge.

Not sure about the children subject. Some seem accepting and others not so. That's if the conversation even gets that far!

Thanks @Daydreamscometrue - that's good to know. I was looking at Hinge next but may think about match.com.

You're right - I've not chatted with someone long enough (before being ignored) to ask them how they feel about dating someone with children!

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

Checking in, peacemaking, thanks for the new thread Butterfly. Only iron on my scene is Mr FavPlace who's kind of on hold while I've got the DC and until I have some headspace to think.

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

Placemarking. I'd love to do some peacemaking tho

[Wherearethefish]

@scorpiogirly

Thank you *@Wherearethefish*, good luck to you too.

I didn't know you could go incognito, how do you do that? Does that mean they can't see your photos?

@scorpiogirly - if you go to settings on the Bumble app on your phone, you can toggle to go incognito. This means they will only see your profile once you select them.

[Stayingstrongish]

@Wherearethefish I’m a single parent to two young kids and dating a guy without kids. However, he doesn’t have to meet them as I only have my kids half the week. I will introduce him at some point but want to keep that very low key and wait a bit. Not planning on moving in with anyone else, want to live on my own until the kids are quite a bit older at least.

I think be wary of men who don’t have kids but specifically say on their profile that they are happy to date women with children. Based on a couple of experiences, I got the impression they said that to widen their pool of potential one night stands.

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

whereare if you put in your profile that you have children, they can just swipe left. No need to make a big announcement then.