Dating thread 223; Fresh starts and love hearts

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Thank you. I will definitely change that setting

@Stayingstrongish - thanks for the advice!

Did you put you had children on your profile? I haven't as I was advised not to but if we match and then message, I say I do, v.early on.

I hope your dating continues to go well.

[quote Daydreamscometrue]@HairyArsedMan you must be holding it wrong. I had what I deemed to be a mildly flirtatious chat with a guy on watsap after which he confessed he'd had five wanks!

Looking back I was much more naive. Of course he had no plans to actually meet for a drink and the next time he messaged, casually dropping in the fact he was in bed I deleted him.[/quote]
5 wanks eh ?, for a man my age that that would have taken about 2 weeks to complete

Checking in!

Have a few matches on Match who I'm chatting to. All very civilised so far.

I think I just want to arrange to meet them after we've been chatting for a few days, I just don't see the point of wasting too much time if there's then no attraction.

I had 10 first dates (or date 0s as you call them) last year before I met someone there was anything with so I know good chat can lead to nothing.

Need to be bold and ask them.

Last year a lot of the meets were outside due to restrictions, do people still meet for a walk or is a coffee a better idea??

Checking in ☺️

@Wherearethefish I used bumble and chose the ‘have children, don’t want more’ option in my profile. Didn’t mention it in my description but mention it early on when mentioning. Had one guy with older kids say my children were too young and he was looking for someone at the same stage in life, which was fair enough.

Tried the icognito option on Bumble and it tried to charge me. Is this right?

@Wherearethefish I was pretty open about children and had dates with those who had and hadn't. I had two toddlers at the time, no overnight stays with their dad plus I wfh. It felt easier to me with those who had children I admit as they seemed to understand the dynamics of my mad life but you might find men who had kids but hardly saw them anyway. I just think keep an open mind and first see if you have a click anyway. They can always swipe left if they are put off by you having children.

@ButterflyOfShay thank you for the love! Hey @BelladiMamma, Mr Dublin is sounding lovelier each time. You have met a good match.

How is everyone? These cold miserable days aren't helping my mood. I'm seeing Mr Music again this weekend then not for a bit due to childcare stuff. Hard to believe only 2 months since we even got chatting. Am waiting for the catch

@Daydreamscometrue @scorpiogirly I thought the incognito mode was paid. Can’t remember now though.

Hi all, hope everyone is good.

I was chatting to an iron for about an hour the other night. The next day I was really busy so didn't reply, just kept getting message after message.

Just checked now and there's a paragraph calling me ignorant etc.

I've spoken to this guy for an hour in total once - why are they like this?!?!

What @VanGoghsDog said on the previous thread about some people being on the apps to dick around 'as an end in itself' is really helpful and has put a lot of my experiences into a different light. Even the day I was first meeting MrDublin I was due to meet MrBet who cancelled with half an hour to spare. Some people are just there to waste / pass the time.

All going well here. I'm not over thinking anything. And I'm feeling pretty unquestioning of the whole thing as the communication is really strong and the interactions we have are really positive. The agreement we made about exclusivity for a set period has really helped us both and we are definitely falling for each other. Not what I was looking for or expected but our personalities are so well suited. And we make each laugh loads.

Re Bumble, I also thought incognito was a paid for option. I would be on an app for a short burst eg maximum one month at a time, and would generally pay as it allowed me to get through my matches quicker and toggle my profile on and off.

Hope everyone who's feeling a bit winter blue can start to feel more positive. My neighbour's daffodils have already come out!!

@Bangheadhere40

Hi all, hope everyone is good.

I was chatting to an iron for about an hour the other night. The next day I was really busy so didn't reply, just kept getting message after message.

Just checked now and there's a paragraph calling me ignorant etc.

I've spoken to this guy for an hour in total once - why are they like this?!?!

He's saved you some time.

Unmatch, move on, his loss and your gain to meet someone with fewer issues

Hi @Bangheadhere40 great to see you! 😬

Shiny new thread, thank you @ButterflyOfShay.

@ButterflyOfShay from previous thread too - oh definitely re distance. You don't want to feel like you might bump into even someone you've had a shit chat or coffee with let alone a shit fling with!!

Checking in to the new thread.

Cheering you and all doing dry January on. It doesn’t even occur to me to have alcohol in the evening now, which is amazing. I still wake with a slight headache though. Is that withdrawal do you think?

@Badbaddog

Cheering you and all doing dry January on. It doesn’t even occur to me to have alcohol in the evening now, which is amazing. I still wake with a slight headache though. Is that withdrawal do you think?

Could be anything - hormonal, central heating, sinuses ... I often have a sinus headache in the morning which clears once I've been up for a while

@Badbaddog

Cheering you and all doing dry January on. It doesn’t even occur to me to have alcohol in the evening now, which is amazing. I still wake with a slight headache though. Is that withdrawal do you think?

Oh and you might clench your jaw or grind your teeth whilst you're asleep?

Thinking about it, it’s simply dehydration - sleeping so soundly I don’t take sips of water during the night any more!

Thanks 😊

Yep - it's the entitlement really, and why they think they can send abuse if you change your mind. Scary thing is this one seemed nice and normal, I was just literally busy. He's getting blocked now but omg.

Nice to see everyone too 👋

Checking in

Dry January going well, the upping my jogging pace not so well.
Mr Wa got blocked, he made a new instagram to send me another shitty message.
Back on the apps and new iron mr sneakers seems promising, been chatting on the phone but can’t meet until late next week because of logistics, I don’t like to wait this long for a 1st meet usually, so think I’m going to calm down the comms until we meet

Ah it is a paid feature of Bumble.

Ok new year new start... back on the apps...

Have one Mr Gym who has suggested we meet Friday but has not said when or where yet, so willI wait for a reply till tomorrow and if none then make other plans-we haven't spoken much but worked out we live pretty close so just want to meet face to face..

Mr Arty very interesting to talk to, but we haven't arranged a meet yet, we were supposed to meet today but he hasn't gotten back to me properly so will see when that happens..

Mr OF, I hung out with him twice last summer, but I ended up getting too busy to meet and he thought I ghosted him. He got back in touch via an app as had lost his phone and we are meeting Sunday, he's a nice guy and we have lots in common a bit on the young side though...