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Dating Thread 199 - Come on 2021....

(992 Posts)
LongtimelurkerL Tue 26-Jan-21 14:50:44

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

OP’s posts: |
SleepyBunk Tue 26-Jan-21 14:54:49

brewsmile

Eesha Tue 26-Jan-21 14:58:37

Thanks @LongtimelurkerL, hopefully all our luck will change with this new thread!

bangheadhere40 Tue 26-Jan-21 15:36:28

Checking in, here's to positive things coming our way.

Slothmomma Tue 26-Jan-21 15:38:14

Thanks for the new thread longtimelurkerl

No real update from me. Met the iron I was chatting with for a walk. Not for me. I'm looking to find someone to go out with/do stuff with (once we can) so somebody self sufficient and good with money but he didn't come across that way and also appeared to be a Disney dad with custody fighting his ex who wants 50/50 and that would have grated on me.

Currently chatting with a new match. Very early days

Mayzee Tue 26-Jan-21 16:14:04

Checking in on the new thread.
Even though things are going fine with me and Mr TG- we met up again at the weekend and it was lovely but he had to rush off when the snow really started pelting down in case he got stuck at minegrin- I’m still feeling so meh about everything.
It’s the lockdown I know but I really feel like by the time we come out of it we will be stuck in this rut of meeting at mine or going for bloody walks. Nothing else to do. No point making plans until the end is in sight. We managed one lunch out in between lockdowns so I suppose that’s something😆
Ignore my whiney post I’m feel murderous after homeschooling grin

MissLI Tue 26-Jan-21 16:31:42

Checking into the new thread. Think I posted on the old thread under another name I think.

I'm still chatting to just one person, there's no one else suitable, I'm only on one site at the moment. He's chatty, we've met and talked a lot, but I'm not attracted to him, wondering if I can get past that. He doesn't ask me much, we chat about mundane stuff, cooking etc. Not sure if I'm wasting our time really. Thought I might try one more meet and see. I'm not that bothered about looks, it would be nice but not essential. It's just difficult when we can't do much isn't it?

cravingthelook Tue 26-Jan-21 17:29:05

Hey checking in:

I'm struggling, not really been posting much. I don't know what to say.

I'm trying to just be cool but I have no idea where I am in dating life these days.
I have some great and happy days ... then I feel shit again.

SleepyBunk Tue 26-Jan-21 17:44:44

Yeh I’m definitely buckling in for a constrained 2021 here - well done the vaccination people, but I think the route to normality is a long way off....

I’m working on “accepting” now it’s going to be really bad till the end of this year and see what I can productively do with myself...

I know they’re working hard for sure and the quality of my life is fine, but part of me is resentful and pissed off with my irons with their travel based jobs right now!

WeWantTheFinestWines Tue 26-Jan-21 18:27:21

Hi all, checking in to the new thread. I'm also feeling grim about it all. What's the point in lockdown? And accidentally on purpose saw exBF on FB looking gorgeous and happy with new gorgeous and happy GF, which just made me feel lost and lonely. And stupid for not being over him yet.

On a more positive note, I'll be helping to vaccinate people in my spare time. And trying to keep up with the ups and downs of the lovely people on this thread.

Clovertoast Tue 26-Jan-21 18:32:17

Hello everyone.
I had my vaccination today, that's about as exciting as it's got here 🤷‍♀️

SleepyBunk Tue 26-Jan-21 18:42:37

THATS The best news ever @WeWantTheFinestWines and @Clovertoast

gringringrin

#threadwinners

Eesha Tue 26-Jan-21 18:45:10

@WeWantTheFinestWines social media is to be avoided!!!

I'm hoping I get the vaccine but looks like months away given I'm early 40s. I think schools will remain closed till after Easter so no going out till then. It's a dark time. I'm entertaining myself chatting to friends.

SleepyBunk Tue 26-Jan-21 18:47:46

I’ve run out of upbeat positive “think positive and do yoga” vibes and am just eating cheap mint chocolate in bed like a slattern. I need to perk up for a Teams chat tomorrow but really CBA.

Whoknows11 Tue 26-Jan-21 19:01:14

I've got a phone chat with an iron tonight. He seems lovely and we're on the same child free weekends 👍🏻 I too am feeling demoralised with this lockdown and dating! Walks in the cold are dull and difficult to even find any chemistry if all I'm thinking about is how cold I am!

I've had both my vaccines so feel relatively safe! At this rate though well soon all need a new vaccine with all these new variants! Again so soul destroying 😩

Dancerinthemoonlight Tue 26-Jan-21 19:18:35

Having a bit of a meh day aswell but need to perk myself up for tomorrow. The new job isn't what I want to do long term but I knew that before starting. It has just reinforced the part of the event sector I want to be in and now I need to figure out how to get my foot in the door in that part. I'm not a sit in front of a screen all day person which is what I'm doing for the next 3 months but more of a do the admin things but also go on site visits, build relationships with different producers and get up and be active in the role.
The next step is just to keep on applying to jobs that fit me and the right one will come up. Hopefully live events will be able to happen in a post covid world and things can hopefully start getting more normal from the summer onwards.

Dating wise I have a few talks on Hinge but none have mentioned any walks so just seeing how they go. Some have already dropped off. Not bothering with any other apps until restrictions are lifted.

newnamenora Tue 26-Jan-21 19:34:56

Popping my head back in - I was on one of these threads very briefly last year. Back then, I was 1 year separated. I had a few dates with someone I met OLD, then we went into lockdown we continued chatting for a few months, and then it fizzled out (TBH, he wasn't really right for me and I'm kinda glad it fizzled out!)
So at Christmas I had a tentative go at OLD again and almost immediately matched with a lovely guy who i'll call MrPosh. We've been texting ever since, but this weekend I have my first "virtual date" with him, I'm very nervous as I think he's far too posh and good looking for me (hence the name!) But I feel an amazing connection with him and am so hopeful that he likes me as much as I like him.

chasegirl Tue 26-Jan-21 19:38:03

Hello. Joining for tips and advice. Lost the will to live with OLD. Seem to end up messaging a few men, maybe 1 phone call or meet up, then tumbleweed. I thinks it's them not me but at a loss how to meet anyone these days.

Actually ran out of men on Bumble now grin

Heartbeats0708 Tue 26-Jan-21 19:51:58

Ah no @WeWantTheFinestWines you went pain shopping. I know it's tempting (strangely) but definitely one to be avoided!
Joining you fed up ones, it feels a bit bleak just now doesn't it? Struggling with motivation full stop and still in a weird place with my iron. Not sure if we're fwb/together or whether to just call the whole lot off and be a hermit. I think I could do with finding some counselling and indeed myself.

lovelost21 Wed 27-Jan-21 08:20:28

Finally found you all . Thank you for the new thread @LongtimelurkerL .

CleverCatty Wed 27-Jan-21 09:49:11

Yay new thread!

I'll post this only because it's amusing-ish.

I had a few dates with a man about 2012/13 time - he was nice enough but I just couldn't see it going anywhere. Anyway he added me on FB etc recently and we had a chat yday. Turned out a bit saucy on his part and he's been married - now getting a divorce. Turns out he's a submissive and wants a dom. Think he's trying to chat to see if I'm that type but no way and even if I was his character (spoiled rich boy, doesn't have to work!) doesn't turn me on in the slightest.

No other 'irons' as yet.

RaspberryMojito Wed 27-Jan-21 10:47:58

Hi all.

Not posted here for a while (and then was under a different name). Had been OLD from around 2013 - 2019 and then I met someone. We broke up a few weeks ago. Not necessarily bothered about dating at the moment given the circumstances we’re in and I can well imagine people are behaving just as ridiculously on there or maybe even more so as before. Am I right?! I was never a fan of talking for very long or phone calls before meeting, always preferred a quick face to face meet in a bar. One or maybe two drinks and then home.

I also always feel ten times worse when I’m on the apps as I do when I’m not. However, if I’m not on the apps I don’t ever go on dates as I never get asked out in real life. It’s a bit a pain. I have thought that when all this is over I’ll just say yes to every invite and go on more Meet Up events etc. That’s probably better for my mental health than the dreaded apps.

Looking forward to catching up on your stories and maybe (just maybe) adding my own again! I know my friends can’t wait for me to add to my hilarious list of dating stories.

MissLI Wed 27-Jan-21 11:14:27

Can i ask, if you've been chatting to someone and then decided it's not for you, how do you let them down gently? The one I'm talking to is nice but after nearly a week of chatting it's getting a bit boring and I don't fancy him, thought I could get past that, but I can't. I'm not sure how to word it though.

CleverCatty Wed 27-Jan-21 11:39:24

MissLI

Can i ask, if you've been chatting to someone and then decided it's not for you, how do you let them down gently? The one I'm talking to is nice but after nearly a week of chatting it's getting a bit boring and I don't fancy him, thought I could get past that, but I can't. I'm not sure how to word it though.

Just say you're not on the same page, I dunno. You could even say a white lie and say you're not ready for a relationship.

After a week you owe them nothing!

CleverCatty Wed 27-Jan-21 11:42:21

RaspberryMojito

Hi all.

Not posted here for a while (and then was under a different name). Had been OLD from around 2013 - 2019 and then I met someone. We broke up a few weeks ago. Not necessarily bothered about dating at the moment given the circumstances we’re in and I can well imagine people are behaving just as ridiculously on there or maybe even more so as before. Am I right?! I was never a fan of talking for very long or phone calls before meeting, always preferred a quick face to face meet in a bar. One or maybe two drinks and then home.

I also always feel ten times worse when I’m on the apps as I do when I’m not. However, if I’m not on the apps I don’t ever go on dates as I never get asked out in real life. It’s a bit a pain. I have thought that when all this is over I’ll just say yes to every invite and go on more Meet Up events etc. That’s probably better for my mental health than the dreaded apps.

Looking forward to catching up on your stories and maybe (just maybe) adding my own again! I know my friends can’t wait for me to add to my hilarious list of dating stories.

Sorry to hear you broke up and hope you are ok!

To be fair I think some people are behaving as ridiculously as before but a few others (including someone I used to know) are trying the phone sex/meeting up for sex possibilities but mostly as you can't really meet and date properly.

One guy I was messaging via Tinder wanted to meet ASAP but then said he was still in love with his ex. To be honest, I think he wanted instant sex and was maybe still in love with his ex too.

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