Dating thread 182 - keeping our irons warm by the fireplace

[saltysally]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

[saltysally]

Plenty of marshmallows, cocoa and hot cocktails

[UncorrectedDoormat]

Yummmmm....hot chocolate 😋

[bangheadhere40]

checking in

[Jane1978xx]

Checking in

[UncorrectedDoormat]

@shitwithsugaron - how does a meet up work? Do we even know where each other is geographically?

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

To recap. Mr Big lives an hour away. He is coming to me on the train tomorrow for an evening out. No chance of sex as I have a sitter for the evening only. I am really pleased he is coming and he seems really keen to go on a date BUT my sitter has cancelled!!!!

A family member has offered to have the kids overnight at theirs instead. Which means I could ask him to stay. If I’m gonna I need to tell him ahead as it’s the difference of train or car and he has his kids Sunday so cannot mess about trying to get a train.

I don’t know whether to keep it as just an evening date or let him know he can stay?

My head says play it cool and date. My heard (and lady parts) say wooohooo shag!

What to do dating gang?

[Sunshineandflipflops]

@Marlboroandmalbec34 In my opinion, if you want things to be different with Mr Big then you have to do things differently.
You know you have sexual chemistry but you need to find out if there is potentially more and I think that may end up getting clouded by sex if he stays over.

I do think if he knows that was an option but you chose just to have a date, he will take the whole thing more seriously.

I know it's hard when you want to shag him though 😂

[bangheadhere40]

@Marlboroandmalbec34 I agree with sunshine, keep it as a date, although I would be just the same and that is so difficult!

[Jane1978xx]

stick to that plan even if some of Your arrangements have changed. He doesn’t have to even know

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

Damn you all 😂

[Sunshineandflipflops]

You know, some days I really dislike being a parent.

[Jane1978xx]

I dislike being a parent whose child has to go to another parent.

[UncorrectedDoormat]

marlbs how many dates have you had? Have you DTD at all yet. I think also stick to original plan, but you're both grown ups so of you want sex then there's no reason not to. It will change the dynamic of the relationship though.

[Sunshineandflipflops]

@Jane1978xx I am actually courting down the hours until they do to their dad's for the weekend. I've had enough.

[Sunshineandflipflops]

counting and go

[Jane1978xx]

@Sunshineandflipflops it’s more work for me to get everything ready and write ghe instructions about what he needs to do than just to keep her with me.

[Ant330]

Marls I'm also in agreement with with sunshine sorry!

You already know the sex is good, that's not what you're meeting up to talk about

[JeSuisPrest]

You know @Sunshineandflipflops is right @Marlboroandmalbec34. Do what you always do and you'll get what you've always got...You deserve more/better. Give him the chance to miss your company fanny and realise you're a pretty fantastic woman who's worth 100% of his attention.

[PerfectPretender]

I haven't been keeping up lately but don't want to lose you all!

[KeepCalmCarryOhFuckIt]

Annoyingly agreeing with sunshine too sorry marlbs
Anyone got experience of depression (personal, not iron w/depression) and mind chatting a little via pm?

[aufaitaccompli]

Delurking to say thank you all for your sharing your experiences, good and bad so candidly.
I follow the rules in my own dating life and they're helping enormously. So much so that I'm not dating anyone!!

I had a great connection with a guy in early December via Badoo. Met four times across a month. There were minor niggles from the get go, mostly due to his negativity.
Anyway I disregarded the niggles as anxiety on my part and we had a sleepover on date 4. He put his hands around my neck and squeezed...he stopped when I asked him to. But, seriously??
Is this a thing now? He also was pretty rough when I was giving him a bj.

Fuck I just think I'm undateable at this stage. On and off dating for 2-3'years (mostly off) and no dice.

[aufaitaccompli]

I'd love to join this thread properly but I'm too wary of dating. Especially because I'm tall, big, over 40. Narrows an already small pool. (I live in NI)

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

I'm about to pull the trigger on Mr long distance. Make or break time. Wish me luck.