Dating thread 182 - keeping our irons warm by the fireplace

[saltysally]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

**

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I am so smitten it's absurd. And he's making me feel as special to him as he is to me. I am behaving like a teenager.

I have moved back home but that's because with another operation coming up I'm going to need help with things and I'm getting serious about putting a deposit on a house and it saves me money so I can save more towards it. I'm free to have friends over, boyfriends over etc. He is 31 or more probably 35 and I'm 26 and to me it's sensible living at home while I am going to need help post surgery

Just scrolling through Facebook and saw this picture. If this isn't a sign then I don't know what is.

I deserve more than a man always being defensive and being okay with spending weeks and weeks without seeing me with no real reason. I deserve more than a one sided relationship, I deserve someone who puts as much effort into it as I do. I deserve someone who will treat me to things and no always expect me to pick up the bill. I deserve someone who no matter how broke they are who will make an effort and buy me even a Christmas card and a bunch of flowers or a bar of dairy free chocolate. I deserve more than he has given me

@bangheadhere40 yes, I'm not feeling in the mood for it but I'll go, and hopefully fake it til I make it :)

@shitwithsugaron thanks. I have no idea how long this is going to take, but it helps knowing others have bounced back from similar.

@HairyArsedMan thanks for the comments. I felt the same - I finally felt like I could be myself with this one, and it was a great feeling that they seemed to like that. I don't know how tonight's date is going to go - I just hope I can be mostly myself, and not feel too sad. Have you managed to get back to enjoying dating now?

I'm so grateful for this thread, thank you all....it's so nice to be supportive to each other, especially when OLD is so tricky!

@Dancerinthemoonlight agree completely, we need to realise people always have time it's just how they choose to spend their time....

@cat good luck later....best to get out there even if you don't feel like it.

I second that - I'm amazed and so grateful for the support I've had recently. It really has helped, and I hope to give the same back to others on here where I can.

Just so you guys know I practice what I preach

MM forgot about something happening today which was important to me and we hadn't messaged today. I gently called him on it, he apologised and admitted to being distracted by some stuff he told me about, we chatted and moved on. As is often the case he arranged our next call too and said he was looking forward to Friday. He's a good guy and my instinct feels happy about him for want of a better way to describe things.

@theCatwiththehat, have a great time later. And remember this person is choosing to make time to see you so enjoy the opportunity to connect with them, you just never know
@Dancerinthemoonlight, you are definitely worth being someone's priority and who's to say that once you adjust to not thinking about this current guy so much, you won't open up to new irons.

I'm so thankful for this thread aswell. It is very supportive. Especially writing everything down really puts it into perspective and you can get so caught up that you don't see it yourself until it's all down on paper and you realise that you are putting up with a lot of crap and deserve better.

I realised that I have been very much I can't be bothered to call him for the past week or so because it is always one sided or we struggle to find things to talk about. It's like his personality had done a complete 180. Think I was beginning to mentally check out of the relationship then I just hadn't realised it.

What are some good dating sites to use? For when I'm ready to old again

As a newbie to this thread and somewhat out of practice with OLD which sites have you used successfully or the least populated by nutters and chancers? I have a POF account which I haven't used for a few months. Previously used Match but never used Tinder. For the record I am 52 .

Saw these tweets and thought they were quite relevant.

183 is open
The url may change
Can't have a typo in the title
Have reported to MN
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3813348-Dating-thread-183-Know-your-worth-honour-your-bou

That's a fair point Simon but it's something I've stayed aware of. My self worth has increased since I started OLD

Closing down 182 soon
Any last words?

Moving smitten bench over
@undecidedsofa and @NoMoreWeepingAndWanking
Please get off the bench for a sec so we can move it
Mind you @shitwithsugaron is welded to it, fortunately

New norty corner for the overinvested set up

Thats for me

Gin, coffee, wine alll moved over

And snacks for sustenance

Any deflated hearts rebooted

Plasters for the hearts 💕

But most of all we have honesty, support and laughter

Lights are all turned out, candles blown

Thread door locked

And farewell 182!