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OLD issue - I've been stupid

(249 Posts)
ShockingShite Fri 21-Apr-17 19:09:15

So I met a bloke through OLD and he seemed A-Mazing! Totally hit it off, details about what he does all checked out totally, had a really brilliant first date which lasted 12 hours. Yes. Really. 12 hours.

Met up with him again. Slept together. A-Mazing. Discussed all sorts of deep and meaningfuls regarding the fact that he never wants kids, but is totally ok with the fact that I have 2 already. We both removed our profiles from the OLD site. All seemed to be going very well...

Then suddenly, a few days ago we were going to Skype and he didn't appear. Then arrived much later than planned, all flustered and finished the convo when his phone rang.

It spooked me enough to go back and check the OLD site and, what would you know, there's another profile which looks like a brand new one. He says it isn't and it's from a while ago, but he was logged in last night at 9 pm. Totally brushed off my concerns and said he'd Skype me tonight to explain. He's no attempt to text or phone me today.

I've been had by a player, haven't I?

Would you Skype or refuse?

ChicRock Fri 21-Apr-17 19:13:34

Yes you've been played.

Yes you need to delete and block him.

No you don't need a Skype conversation.

TBH with a bit of distance, when you look back, you'll see the big red flags that were flapping in your face right from your first 12 hour date hmm

ShockingShite Fri 21-Apr-17 19:19:42

I wish I COULD see those flags ChicRock, but I can't. Really honestly seemed genuine. But then I'm new to OLD and frankly I think I'll not bother with it any more.

ShockingShite Fri 21-Apr-17 19:21:24

He will probably message me later when I don't pick up the Skype. My plan is to see what he's got to say in writing. Which I suspect will be nothing or a poor excuse.

TheNaze73 Fri 21-Apr-17 19:47:31

If something is too good to be true, it normally is.

LesisMiserable Fri 21-Apr-17 19:48:14

I can't really see what he's done wrong? Was your first date the first time you'd ever met? If so we are talking about you being virtual strangers, yes? In which case, why would you put all your eggs in his basket and him, yours? After two dates?!

ShockingShite Fri 21-Apr-17 19:55:19

Yes first date exactly that.
What can I say? He seemed convincing sad

ShockingShite Fri 21-Apr-17 19:56:32

It was because of what he said Les. He seemed besotted with me. I've been had basicallly.

ShockingShite Fri 21-Apr-17 19:58:55

Not very helpful by the way. Judgemental and doesn't really help me to feel any better.

LesisMiserable Fri 21-Apr-17 19:59:29

How have you been had? You had a great date. I'm still confused.

LesisMiserable Fri 21-Apr-17 19:59:56

Judgemental how?? confused

ShockingShite Fri 21-Apr-17 20:00:22

He shagged me and is now moving on to the next by the looks of it... So much for 'after a long term relationship'...

LesisMiserable Fri 21-Apr-17 20:00:45

I dont see what he's done wrong or why you feel you've been had. I'm not judging either one of you?

LesisMiserable Fri 21-Apr-17 20:01:04

You shagged him back.

HotNatured Fri 21-Apr-17 20:02:08

Oh it's shit, OP, OLD is littered with weirdos such as the one you have been unfortunate enough to come across. You live and learn tho, don't give up, just develop a sharper chancer radar and run as far as your legs will carry you when someone is 'besotted' with you after one, albeit rather long, date. Good luck wine

ShockingShite Fri 21-Apr-17 20:03:09

Because I thought it was the start of a long term relationship, not one in a line of his shags.

LesisMiserable Fri 21-Apr-17 20:04:29

Still not judging, nothing wrong with it at all. I slept with my DP on our first date. No judgement here, but do you see shagging as some kind of binding agreement? If so that's where you are going wrong and certainly doing it two dates in if that's how you feel about it. I still dont think he's done anything wrong at all. You shagged each other,enjoyed it presumably, you dont know each other at all so now the shag is out of the way you surely must both be evaluating whether there is potential more than physical there. I say chill out and see where it goes.

ShockingShite Fri 21-Apr-17 20:04:31

We agreed to remove profiles because we were going to carry on seeing each other.

Days later he's back on there - geddit Les?

LesisMiserable Fri 21-Apr-17 20:06:22

Long term relationships dont evolve in the space of 12 hours and one shag . Seriously. Maybe it is the start, you'll never know unless you chill out to be honest.

LesisMiserable Fri 21-Apr-17 20:07:23

There's your problem. You settled for a stranger two dates in and decided there was nobody else out there for you. Now that is weird. Do you not get it?

HotNatured Fri 21-Apr-17 20:07:50

LesisMiserable what the Op is trying to convey is her shock that this guy gave the impression that he was 'besotted', only to have a change of heart and to have moved on. I get that, it's not a nice feeling to have been played.

ShockingShite Fri 21-Apr-17 20:08:06

Longer than 12 hours.
I'm not that stupid.
Then two more days and nights, 8 Skype convos, phone calls and texts.

HotNatured Fri 21-Apr-17 20:08:31

But as I said you live and learn

ShockingShite Fri 21-Apr-17 20:08:52

No Les YOU don't get it

ShockingShite Fri 21-Apr-17 20:09:07

Thank you Hot x

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