Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Dating thread no 112, still searching for a valentine.....

(1000 Posts)
Lovemusic33 Tue 17-Jan-17 08:10:39

Hope it's ok for me to start a new thread as the other is full, I have copied and pasted the rules.

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
*edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

BernieBear Tue 17-Jan-17 09:01:29

Hooray - thanks LoveMusic - how's everyone doing??

womanwithoutasong Tue 17-Jan-17 09:49:59

I thought Bant suggested removing the last three 'rules' when the new thread started, or did everyone agree that they should stay?

Namechanged by the way as there's far too much personal stuff on here about me for comfort!

loobyloo1234 Tue 17-Jan-17 09:56:51

Morning all. I was looking for the thread yesterday. Another 1000 down smile

Who were you womanwithoutasong (without giving too much away if you can't)

BernieBear Tue 17-Jan-17 10:25:59

I have an update. I had a strong suspicion that MrAdventurer went on a date on Saturday and then, on Sunday I got "the" text saying he wasn't sure he wanted a long distance relationship (this is after the third date and exclusivity chat - he is an hour away) I replied by saying that it may take some effort but it sounded like he didn't want to make the effort, I wasn't about to try and change his mind and I suggested he amended his mileage online to reflect that. Bid him goodbye and blocked him. I should have realised it would go tits up when he brought the attached bottle of wine on third date! Do you think he reads this thread???? confused

lastnicknamefree Tue 17-Jan-17 10:59:58

Mooseburgering wine!?? shock grin

lastnicknamefree Tue 17-Jan-17 11:00:32

Thanks [lovemusic] for the new thread...

Lovemusic33 Tue 17-Jan-17 11:31:22

Busy week, men asking me out for Valentine's Day. This week I have a date ( Thursday) with my MOD, possible date Sunday with younger man ( I have cancelled twice but he's still keen ) and 2 others asking me for dates. Finding it hard to juggle things and trying not to get my hopes up about any of them.

Lovemusic33 Tue 17-Jan-17 11:36:58

Bernie, sorry things didn't work out with Mr adventurer sad, sounds like he was making an excuse and maybe he had met someone else. Time to move on to the next one.

I have just joined a new gym ( my old one was full of elderly people ), I have been going most mornings and today there was a lot of eye candy, not sure how you go about meeting people at the gym as no one seems to talk to each other, most people are wearing headphones and are just getting on with their own thing. I would love to hit it off with someone in rl rather than online but it seems to be so tricky as you get older.

RunnnyMummy Tue 17-Jan-17 11:37:44

Thanks lovemusic for starting a new thread.
Had my first date in years on Sunday. It went well. He was very lovely, conversation flowed. We had plenty of laughs.
But his profile said he was local. Turns out he moved and is now over an hour away. Then he mentioned that he was staying in a hotel overnight so he could have a few drinks. Nothing more was said but it made me feel uneasy. I kept waiting for him to suggest going back to the hotel.
So it was a nice evening. Good start to dating. But I don't want to see him again and I haven't heard from him anyway.

InTheMoodForLove Tue 17-Jan-17 11:39:38

hello !
I have NM - new year new intentions smile
thanks love for new thread (yes if you can delete last 3 points, think that was the general idea)
I missed you all !
Still half arsed but got a few for first dates
MrBigBear for drink friday
MrEasy no date arranged but soon
MrSmartyPants supposedly tonight but we are haven't spoken in a while, will have to check if its still on (not his fault really)

Bernnie The Wine grin yes possibly not a good omen
sorry it went tits up

InTheMoodForLove Tue 17-Jan-17 11:44:58

i meant NC, name changed (not NM)
it would be good if I learnt to preview before posting too

Wingletang1 Tue 17-Jan-17 11:51:28

Nice to see you all back ... I think I was the last person to post on the other thread ... My date with mrlocal ... Since then I've decided to ditch him!! Lol ... All going ok couldn't decide if a spark or if he was a player ... Chatting away last night all good until ... He sent me a what apps mesg that was obviously meant for another woman!! Not that there's anything wrong with chatting to other people when you've only had two dates ... But I just kinda thought nah!!! I didn't reply and haven't heard from him, he'll know I've read it and prob realise he's not going to get anywhere now! Also yesterday he's changed his profile pic on tinder so actively looking ... Time to move on ... More swiping!! hmm

Pixieb34 Tue 17-Jan-17 11:53:02

Glad there's a new thread!!
Sorry things haven't worked out Bernie and Runny...they haven't for me either this weekend!!
I had 2 dates (fri&sun), thought they were both really good dates (out late, dancing, laughs, bit of a kiss!) but I've not received anything back other than it was a good night and sort of courtesy texts!
Feeling a bit bruised so I'm going to recoup and reevaluate's how it goes I suppose, so taking today to get it in perspective!!

BernieBear Tue 17-Jan-17 12:11:41

Oh no, accidentally "superliked" someone..... and we had a friend in common, but I don't know who. Damn I hate Tinder!

Bant Tue 17-Jan-17 12:37:27

Hello all. I was wondering when someone would start the next thread.

My only worry with the rules was that some people who find this thread think it's a list of things they MUST read or the only dating approaches allowed. So they can be put off posting if they don't agree.

'Thick skin' and 'if it's not fun, stop' are general dating rules to protect oneself, rather than people on here instructing other people how to date.

Nothing much new from me. My only iron, who I have a second date with at the weekend, got a bit critical of me the other day so I took a look at the OD site again and saw my ex has viewed my profile half a dozen times.

Sigh. I should block her, for my own sanity.

InTheMoodForLove Tue 17-Jan-17 12:43:56

yes Bant, you may have to follow your own advice on blocking sad

why critical ?

What's a spearlike "bernie" ?

Bant Tue 17-Jan-17 12:56:55

MissQuiz (I can't remember what or if I named her before) was very talkative in her profile about how anyone she meets should get on well with the mother of their kids, as she's dated men with 'nightmare' exes before. I'd had a mild disagreement with mine, and had to change some arrangements - nothing huge I was just a bit annoyed, and she reiterated her concern about good relationships.

However, the night before she'd gone on a text-rant about what a cocklodger her ex was, and she couldn't stand the sight of him.

So I was annoyed with the hypocrisy. I get narked with my ex sometimes but never rant about her.

LotsoNumbers Tue 17-Jan-17 13:01:36

I've got a debate on Sunday with the only tinderite I'm talking to. He hasn't got a single smiling pic on his profile which makes me think he's not very confident with his appearance. I've a long line of matches but he was the only one to message me so I think the others are collecting likes

Lovemusic33 Tue 17-Jan-17 13:18:08

I have just been asked out on another date, tall, dark handsome and a year younger than me, no baggage, I shall call him Mr guitar. He's asked me out for a drink this week but I have told him that this week is a bit crazy and next week would be better. Mr MOD is getting a bit full on, seems to think we are going to fall in love on Thursday, it's putting me off a little bit although I am looking forward to meeting him. I don't want to say no to other men in case Thursday goes badly so I'm hoping I have a date on Sunday and a date one evening next week.

InTheMoodForLove Tue 17-Jan-17 13:29:47

I get it Bant, yes I would find that off-putting too tbh

So I am on for tonight. Shit. My hair is a mess, my nails are a mess...............I have bags under my eyes, legs unshaved.............
lucky guy hu !

InTheMoodForLove Tue 17-Jan-17 13:33:23

love sounds like you are not that much into MOD, maybe slow down the replies ?

I think my next 3 dates up the guys are faaaaar too better looking than me
or better still, far too cool and the type of men who can pick and choose and fussy - no idea what possessed them to be so persistent

Lovemusic33 Tue 17-Jan-17 14:13:02

It's not that I'm not into him, I have just been on so many dates and have been disappointed many times when I have not felt a connection after endless days/weeks of messaging. I do think it's best not to message to much until after you have met someone, he has already told me way too much about himself and I have preobably done the same. I am looking forward to the date but I am not as optimistic as he is, I still want to meet the younger man at the weekend and this new guy (Mr guitar) looks interesting, both of them don't have children and hopefully no pycho ex. I guess I am done with drama and complications, I just want a normal (ish) but exciting man with no bagagge but that seems impossible sad.

loobyloo1234 Tue 17-Jan-17 14:15:24

Does someone want to re-write what the rules should be, post them on here and report it to MN so they can change for us? smile

Bant ... ? wink

BernieBear Tue 17-Jan-17 14:18:24

Inthemood - superliking is a way of saying that you really really really like the look of someone i.e. highlighting the fact! Unfortunately it is fairly easy to do if you are not concentrating when on Tinder blush - as for you not being as cool/good looking as the men who are interested, I'm sure that is not the case at all! I also feel like that about matches but I suspect we all lack confidence is some areas - even the guys you are meeting.
Bant - that does sound off putting - maybe she'll be different on the second date.
Lotsof - lacking confidence in appearance is better than no teeth, which could be other reason he's not smiling!! grin
LoveMusic you are sounding very popular at the moment - enjoy it!
..........Ooooh I've just received a message (thankfully not from "superliker") - I'm back in the game!! grin

This thread is not accepting new messages.