Dating thread no 112, still searching for a valentine.....

[Lovemusic33]

Hope it's ok for me to start a new thread as the other is full, I have copied and pasted the rules.

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. *edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

Three dates Love - that is brilliant!! I will keep my fingers crossed that one will ignite the "do him" feelings, which I agree is a fab turn of phrase

Morning everyone.
Disaster! I have a coffee date tomorrow with a guy who seems to tick all my boxes. Today I've woken up with a stinking cold. Trying to rearrange will be difficult cos my diary is full with work & other life. So I don't know whether to just dose up on lemsip and go for it or accept fate and cancel.

Love I agree too, it is much harder to get into new people if you are still aching for someone. I struggle to understand if it is "them" or me pulling back, since my Mr(very)Cutie. I chase that feeling again and as wrong as it sound I do make comparison But hey at least 1 of 3 has to be doable, right?

Runny I would go on a mad spree of Lemsip, extra vitamin C, honey-ginger-lemon tea all day. I hate cancelling as I never get it right again if I do...

Ha ha! Loving the 'Moosebergerin' wine!

LoobyLoo I don't want to say but I was rather known for my ...ahem ... rather earthy and graphic details

Runny - I would go as well if you can. First dates are kind of make or break. if you make an excuse he may never come back.

I am still in my either/or dilemma. But mr intellectual has gone quiet today, while Mr good cook has been all over me like a rash. They are very different and could feed both sides of my nature quite well, so I am not writing either off at this point.

Runny, I would go too, it's only coffee, plus if you look rough and he still likes you he's a keeper .

I'm meeting mr MoD tomorrow, we are going to a local beauty spot to do a bit of photography and hopefully pub for lunch. I'm not really feeling nervous, have got to the point where I'm not overly bothered what happens on a date, not getting my hopes up and I'm just going to be myself.

how many sides have you got remember
womanwithoutasong do tell me more please !! about the details, not sure I understand

love oh you make me smile. We might be in the same frames for some reason. I went out last night I am not sure I looked cool or a bag lady (didn't shower or did any special pampering) shame on me

can I open a subthread with the thread ? I had a nose around other sections and some P are soooo vicious I rather keep it in-house

Questions for whoever fancy to contribute

1. do you go all out to impress on first dates ?
2. do you wear your best lingerie ? ( if I think MB is on the card sometime I wear nice but not best as I am scared it may be ripped - leave in hope as it has actually not happened for years)
3. sexting : is this a rite of passage with everyone you meet ?
4. photo exchange - yeah that type of photos
5. success story of serving MB on first date and still having some respect after (global hot topic of discussion, apparently)

I ve been doing filing and accounts today this may explain mind wondering

1. no, I dress well and wear nice aftershave though
2. I don't have any lucky pants anymore
3. no. Depends what you're after but I think generally sexting before meeting is seen as a sign they're only after sex. However if you get into a relationship, it's part of the fun, isn't it?
4. see 3
5. they usually respect me afterwards, because I'm amazing but I don't do that anymore, for reasons I've explained before - lust coloured glasses.

There

1. depends where and when we are going, most of my dates are during the day, i don't go out to eat in the evenings so if I do go out it's for a quite drink in the evening or a walk during the day so I dress casual or in walking gear, I don't wear much make up and I don't bother much with my hair.

2. Again it depends, if there's a chance of mooseburger then I wear matching undies.

3. First time I was online dating I did a lot of sexting but I worked out I was attracting the wrong kind of men, then again I was happy to get laid so encouraged it a bit. This time I am refusing to sext.

4. Any one that sends me cock photos or automatically discualified , I am looking for a gentleman and I feel I would rather wait and discover what's in their pants if it gets as far as mooseburger.

5. Mixed resaults in the past but the fact I am now single after serving up mooseburgger on several first dates is enough evidence for me to hold out until 2nd or 3rd date, though if I go much longer without it I might break my own rules.

My answers should be read with caution as I am no expert having only done this dating thing for a few weeks but...

1 - I wear what i am comfortable in and what suits the date - but nice hair and makeup
2 - Yes - always because it makes me feel better and more confident
3 - I admit I sexted before meeting and I think it might have spoiled things a bit - but have no objections per se
4 - I refuse to send any photos that would be considered naked or intimate. Ok with slightly sexy
5 - no MB for me so far... :( but still wouldn't necessarily object to first date - but that's me.

Questions for whoever fancy to contribute

1. do you go all out to impress on first dates ?.... I wouldn't say all out but definitely make a fair bit of effort because I feel more confident if I know I look good

2. do you wear your best lingerie ? ( if I think MB is on the card sometime I wear nice but not best as I am scared it may be ripped - leave in hope as it has actually not happened for years)........no, not on a first date but whatever goes with the outfit usually

3. sexting : is this a rite of passage with everyone you meet ?......no yuk. After date/dates but not before

4. photo exchange - yeah that type of photos......no, see above

5. success story of serving MB on first date and still having some respect after (global hot topic of discussion, apparently).....hmmmm I feel that if someone is only after sex they will disappear after date 2 or 3 anyway so waiting until the elusive third date or more isn't any way to guarantee a relationship or that they are serious. A man who is an asshat will be so whether you throw steakburgers at him 5 minutes or 5 weeks after meeting so in my very humble opinion do what you fancy and feel comfortable with not what anyone else thinks is right. I've had a few relationships start from first date sex. One of my 3 month summer ones started from an OKC first date that went on 13 hours.

Hi regularly lurked this page when it was on thread 95ish a couple of years back, but after a second failed 6 month relationship within just over a year I took a year off dating. Back on it now though and have been enjoying reading the last couple of threads.
In answer to the questions

1. I don't overdo clothes wise but am shaved, nails and eyebrows done, hair washed and straightened so hopefully look reasonably put together.
2. always wear best matching undies for confidence and cos, you never know..
3. sexting: I never have dating or otherwise. Think I.need to learn the art...!
4. photos: never shared or possess any rude pics of me and don't think would feel comfortable with that being "out there"
5. sex wise have done 7th date, 4th date and then recently 2nd date. 7th date guy was all about the chase and an actual sex addict who just loved the chase so no guarantee a wait is fruitful. 4th date guy was probably about right, but 2nd date guy I really fancy/fancied and there was the opportunity. I am not sure what is going on with him right now but think maybe was too soon really, mostly just because of the emotional roller-coaster it has kept me on the last couple of weeks which the sex didn't help with, hormones and all that.

Inthemood I ended it as, towards 2 months, I realised we didn't have an emotional connection. He was was happy to bumble on, said he may 'develop feelings', but I think it's better for us both to look again. I don't need fireworks but I at least want some fun shiny sparklers of enjoyment with a man!

Now writing to 7 as going with the numbers game. I fancy two from photos, but humour beats looks for me. I recruit regularly and just want to interview them to save time. Would be happy for them to ask me questions too...or is that speed dating?

Plenty your last sounded emotionally unavailable too. It's hard but better to have his fault reason than ghosting?

Yes lilac, the latest I met in real life and he really pursued me. Have had great dates with lots of talk about future potential but he blows hot and cold. Last date (3rd date) Saturday and good contact up till Monday eve then v little since. Texted him earlier and still no reply. Am going to leave it for a few days to see if he reconnects but if we do go on another date will have to make it clear I am not having it.

7 guys is good going! I think I'd forget what I'd said to each!!

Hey guys, I posted back in the early 100's when I met a highly unsuitable man called The Hunk, I ignored the red flags, I ignored my own advice and I ignored yours too. I didn't get hurt as I kept my walls up but he turned out to be very controlling and possessive just like I and you thought he would and I got out quick and before things turned bad luckily. Lesson learnt, gut is always right and if your unsure listen to advice.

Well I got board so downloaded tinder, just for a look and something to do.
Now I have a date on Saturday. So much for just looking!!!

1. I won't be dressed my best but I will be looking good.

1. I'l have matching underwear on purely for the purpose of my own confidence and just incase

1. I don't do sexting before a date. It makes it awkward if the chemistry just isn't there in real life

1. Just no. I'd have to really trust someone for that so no.

1. I'm split on this one. I think if they are just after one thing then no matter how long you wait they will bolt once they've had it. Waiting too long and if you don't click that way you face another dilemma.

I take each date as it comes. I have no rules on this and just go with how I feel at the time. What will be will be.

1. Yes I make a real effort - but my style is a bit understated so they can probably never tell!
2. No they aren't going to see it!
3. Cannot sext. And if a guy tries to bring a sexual element in before we have met he is blocked.
4. Don't send photos - innocent or otherwise. They have up to date realistic photos of me on the site so they can take the risk!
5. No MB on the first date for me! Mainly because I don't feel comfortable getting naked with a guy until I know him quite well but also because I worry they will put me in the sex zone....probably not all guys would! The guy I am dating said it wouldn't make a difference to him so I could have had more fun earlier!!

Well I think I have messed up with my date of six weeks. Met on POF. Going well until I went on POF to cancel re subscription. It showed him as being on recently after we both agreed we wouldn't.

Sent him a text asking him could he tell me if he is still on as we are sleeping together etc.

Got a text back saying he didn't think I was like that and glad he knows my true feelings. Was I wrong to ask?

Chuckle he could well be a player and trying to make you feel guilty for finding out the truth. If he had nothing to hide wouldn't he say he was on cancelling membership and show you this on his phone next time you meet?
He sounds dodgy!

He categorically denied being on and was angry after him telling me he wasn't that I had to ask. I think he expected me to not question what he'd said even if I was presented with the opposite.

But it clearly said he'd been on in the last hour. The thing is I wasn't rude or confrontational. I asked if he had been on and if he was, was he still chatting with other women and dating. I explained that I only sleep with one person and would expect them to do the same.

He then said he didn't think I was like that. Like what?!? Confused?!?

I thought best to ask. I didn't accuse. I would of taken his answer as truth and moved on either with him or alone if he was dating others.

I don't think I've done wrong but I came out of an extremely emotionally abusive marriage and question myself sometimes. He knows this. I thought he accepted that I always said if I felt uncomfortable or unsure I'd simply ask.

God this is a mine field I do t think I want to be part of.

Chuckle - you now have the measure of him. He is the type to deny your reality and to not bother to reassure you if he truly thinks you have it wrong. He threw it back in your face with additional accusations aimed to make you question yourself.

Sounds like he is hedging his bets (and that is OK) but if you have agreed not to see other people then he has gone back on that.

I would personally not contact him for now and see what he comes back with. he may admit everything, explain it was just to pass the time and you can get back on track. Or he may never get back in touch and you have your answer.

My Mr good cook has gone cold again. I know why. We had an intense chat two nights ago and he has pulled back from me. This is his pattern and I am getting used to it. I know it means he is scared of getting too close and that it is a natural reaction for him. he isn't being purposely hurtful, but I don't know if it is the type of friendship/relationship I want. but when he comes back, all the irritation disappears because he is so amazing and we click on so many levels.

However my date with Mr Intellectual is still on for tomorrow. he is consistent thus far. At least it is a distraction from my hot and cold man.

Had to share this with you lovely people - was at the gym this morning and went to have a drink from the water fountain. On a nearby wall is a list of special shakes and juices which can be purchased from the front desk.

I started idly scanning this list as I was drinking and then choked - half way down the list is.......................Moose juice..............!!!!! Is this connected to Moose burgers in any way?!! Maybe its my weird sense of humour but it made me laugh