The woman is seriously starting to get to me and has actually resulted in me having panic attacks about how she is going to be once our baby girl is born in April.
Before we even got pregnant, she informed me on Boxing Day 2014 that I needed to lose weight, so that when we eventually had children I would actually be around to see them grow up. Little did she know that we had actually been ttc for 4 years prior to that with no luck.
And since announcing this very much wanted pregnancy she has made me feel awful for getting excited. Telling us not to go shopping to "give other people a chance to buy things".
We were in a store ordering our pram back in December. I was testing out the one hand push and she pulled the pram off me and walked off to the other side of the store. And because we had to go around the local stores to collect all of the bits and pieces to it, she went into a major strop. Started complaining very loudly and tried to drag my dh off to persuade him to choose another pram (we've chosen the Britax Affinity and she was trying to get dh to choose an Icandy - bit of a difference price wise).
Then when we made the mistake of saying that we liked the name Elizabeth with Libby for a nickname, her response was "well I will call her Lizzie", despite both me and dh saying that Lizzie just wasn't an option to us.
When we collected the pram and started putting it together to check everything was there, she literally snatched the pram out of dh's hands and started prancing around the front room saying "I can't wait to take my baby for a walk round the estate"
I've got gestational diabetes and at a family wedding a few weeks ago she decided to ask me at our table full of people when I would be taking my insulin injection. Despite me having said the night before and that morning that I was leaving everything in the car as I didn't want people knowing because I feel very embarassed about it.
The same night she announced that once their kitchen was sorted (they've had a new one installed) that she would be going on a spending spree and she didn't care if I didn't like something, all that mattered was if she liked it or not. So at this point I'd had enough of her and said that she shouldn't buy any jeans as the baby will not be wearing them as to me they don't look comfortable. And the face on her was a picture.
She keeps hinting to have the baby on her own. And practically screamed at me on Thursday night "why aren't we babysitting?!?" when we asked fil to watch our dog for the day on dh's birthday so that we can do something as a family of three.
Then yesterday when we got back from hospital, she has now started dropping hints about wanting to take the baby to work with her so that she can show her off. And I can imagine the backlash already when I say no as I don't want my daughter passing around several women that I don't know.
We've tried explaining that we don't want visiting for too long as the hospital and she said "well I will be there anyway" as if she expects to be waiting at the hospital while I'm in labour.
And I'm terrified that she's going to try and take over and ruin the precious first days for us. To the extent where I've started having panic attacks and have had to talk to the midwife about getting some help to limit her visiting hours once our dd is here.
I know all of these probably sound so pathetic and petty, but they've been adding up for so long and I'm really worrying about how I'm going to be strong enough to take control once dd is here, even though dh fully supports me and understands where I'm coming from 
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
starting to hate my mil
emmyr84 · 12/03/2016 15:46
We'd already decided on the pram that we were heading into the store for. We just took her to include her in something that should be an exciting event.
When she snatched the pram off dh and started prancing around he actually took it back saying "I'm not quite finished yet" (he was attempting to put the hood on it). When she took it off me in store we actually walked away so she didn't have the audience that she obviously wanted.
And as for the insulin at the wedding dh didn't say anything as we didn't want to draw any extra attention to it as I'd already told her no twice. Basically we were sat on a table with two of the biggest gossipers in the family so by now it's probably all around the family
bil's fiance hasn't once asked how the pregnancy has been going and I mentioned to dh that she can get stuffed if she thinks she's walking in and holding the baby straight away. Mil pipes up "well she'll have to get her off me first" and dh put her in her place over that and said that she wouldn't have the baby all the time.
I don't mind walking up to meet her from work, but there's no chance our baby will be going up there with her on her own and passed around women that I don't know. And to be honest I couldn't care less how stroppy she gets with me over it.
The problem with not telling her when I'm in labour is that they're having our dog for us (my mum is disabled and unable to look after him and my dad died in 2009). Also it's looking likely that I will be induced around the 6th/7th of April so she already knows that that is when she will be potentially having the dog. We actually live in Wales and have chosen the hospital dh was born at because our local hospital doesn't have a scbu and the next closest one is roughly 2 hours away. My community midwife even recommended the hospital near the in laws as the other one gets seriously busy, which was a bit of a shock
I guess the good thing about us living in Wales is that we only have to see her every so often 
Stop taking her shopping with you, be vague about any plans for the baby, let her buy whatever she likes. Get your DH to put his foot down, he should be able to stand up to his own mother. There's no need to be nervous, but she's obviously a very determined woman lol so you both need to be firm. Good luck and congratulations 
The dog could feasibly go into kennels as he's had his kennel cough vaccine, but the in laws are only 15 minutes from the hospital and we know he's comfortable there, so we both really want to avoid putting him in kennels, espescially with not knowing how long I'd be in hospital for with the induction.
The next time we see them I'll be starting working on saying "that won't be happening" or even just up front telling her no. I could potentially only have 3.5 weeks of this pregnancy left and I refuse to spend it worrying about her and her attitude
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.