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Pregnancy after Miscarriage

(946 Posts)
sadtoday21 Sat 10-Aug-19 14:07:27

Starting a new thread for all of us that find ourselves pregnant again after one or more heartbreaking losses. I know it is really hard to join a pregnancy thread after miscarriage and we all fear the worst will happen again, but let's go on this journey together and hold hands along the way.

This is a safe place for all the ladies on the first pregnancy missed miscarriage thread and for any newcomers who want to join - you are all most welcome! All of the ladies on here have suffered one or more miscarriages and most of us have had particularly difficult losses, such as mmc and other complications. You don't need to be pregnant again to join - you are also most welcome if you have had a loss and are trying again. But we will be sharing scan photos and details of the new pregnancies, in case anyone might find that to be triggering.

Tagging @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @Kiki061190 @3204ECL @Babypending @Ginmonkey84 @MrsMGE and please add anyone else I may have left off. Without further ado, let's start the roll call.

About me: Age 31, trying for my first baby. Previous mmc at 12 weeks in February (hb stopped at 9+4), this turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy and I was monitored by CX hospital for three months. CP in March.

Now 9 weeks, EDD in March, if I make it that long. Oscillating between hope and extreme anxiety every day!

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Sat 10-Aug-19 14:14:02

I hope this might help or provide a glimmer of reassurance.
I had 4 MCs between 2017-2018, after a healthy pg and birth.
It was bewildering and sad.

After my 4th, I was diagnosed with a very slight thyroid problem, prescribed medication for it, and now have a 7 day old DS.

I hope you all have better luck and I wish you every success in your journeys. flowers

Noodlesxxx Sat 10-Aug-19 14:33:07

Hi...i had a miscarriage back in january...it was called an intersitual pregnancy...it is extremely rare and was such a tough time...im now 5+2 with my fourth...and full of severe anxiety 😣😣 up until january i had never had a miscarriage...and like they say unless you have been through it it is hard to comprehend how devastating it is....im praying this little bean sticks but also so frickin consumed with fear its ruining what should be an exciting time....also i may add im 39 with 3 kids aged 16 14 and 5 xxx

bee222 Sat 10-Aug-19 15:03:59

38 and 4+2 with first child. I had a MMC earlier in the year.
I feel terrified sad
I'm currently not really experiencing any symptoms apart from sore breasts and dizziness. Its making feel a little more confident because last time I had lots of cramping for weeks before the brown spotting started.

Kiki061190 Sat 10-Aug-19 15:31:03

Hi @sadtoday21 thanks so much for setting this up!

@bee222 I’m also 4+2 after a mmc in may and currently terrified!

sadtoday21 Sat 10-Aug-19 15:59:40

Thanks for sharing your story @DontBuyANewMumCashmere! I am so glad you got your happy ending after all you went through.

Welcome @Noodlesxxx and *@bee222*! I completely understand about the anxiety - it is really hard to stay positive after what we have all been through! I'm terrified every day. @bee222 I don't really have strong symptoms either, also mostly sore breasts and dizziness/fatigue.

Great to see you here @Kiki061190! Fx both of us get our babies this time around. Let us know how the testing goes! Xxx

Catconfusion Sat 10-Aug-19 19:29:00

Hello ladies, I’m 40 years old and trying for my first child. Mmc in Feb, CP in March, several months of messed up cycles. Currently 4 plus 4 with attempt number 3. I’m hoping this is it as I have irregular cycles so ttc is extra tricky.

Currently feeling very nauseous. It’s already affecting my eating. I had hyperemesis with my first pregnancy so extra gutted to lose the baby as I was on bed rest for four weeks in the run up. It seems to be starting much sooner this time so worried about being that ill again but grateful I’m pregnant and will just deal with it if I am. DH and I are even sorting out finances to prepare for me not being able to work.

@bee222 I’m sorry for your loss. Fingers crossed for you this time. It’s such a horrible trauma to live through. If it’s any consolation I was really ill for weeks after the baby passed so thought all was well but it wasn’t. I’m not sure symptoms show anything. Some ladies have them and some don’t. It can still go either way.

I’m hoping we all get through this. Let’s stay as positive as we can! Xx

BabyPending Sat 10-Aug-19 21:33:12

@sadtoday21 thank you for setting this up!

So nice to see all these BFPs after our truly heartbreaking experiences! This is my third BFP (with the first two ending in MC) but it is really quite faint at 13 DPO. Hoping for some decent line progression to pick up.

I hope all of your pregnancies are going smoothly and hope this becomes a group of amazing rainbow baby success stories xxx

3204ECL Sat 10-Aug-19 21:59:27

Hi all, thanks @sadtoday21 for setting up this thread. Nice to see some familiar faces here and some new ones as well.

I'm 31 trying for our first baby and currently 14+4 after a MMC in February. It's been a very anxious road so far and still experiencing ups and down but things are starting to feel a little easier as time passes.

Fingers and toes crossed for all of us here and our special babies xxx

sadtoday21 Sat 10-Aug-19 22:26:13

Good to hear from you @3204ECL, I’ve been thinking of you! How are you holding up? When is your next scan? It’s hard to believe that you, me, and @Catconfusion all had our mmcs in February, really hoping we get to continue on this happier journey together this time around.❤️

@BabyPending are you going to test again soon? Fx for line progression!

@Catconfusion really sorry you are feeling sick again, can the gp give anything to help with it? I just realised that your 7 week scan is probably going to take place around the same time as my 12 week, give or take a few days. How are you standing the waiting? Three weeks seems way too long, I might give in and go back in a week or so. Feeling pretty anxious still. Hope you are resting up and feel better soon! Fatigue is setting in hard for me and constant hunger!

3204ECL Sat 10-Aug-19 22:48:10

@sadtoday21 I don't have another scan officially until 20 weeks but not sure I can wait that long so will probably end up booking one in the next couple of weeks. I have my first midwife appointment the week after next when hopefully we'll hear the heartbeat so that will be another little milestone. I'm finding it particularly hard now my symptom have died down in trimester.

How are you doing? Have you got another scan planned? Not long now until your 12 weeks scan, got everything crossed for you xxx

Thatgirl123 Sun 11-Aug-19 05:09:12

I had a miscarriage 2 months ago and I caught in July not evening trying! I’m now 5 weeks pregnant! I’m very nervous about every twing or pain I feel. But I am not liking this sickness 😂 x

Catconfusion Sun 11-Aug-19 08:00:10

Hey @sadtoday21 thanks but I’m coping at the moment. I have drugs on standby from the GP. She’s explained she can’t guarantee 100% safe but if I’m bedbound like last time I need to take them. The further into the pregnancy I am the safer anti sick drugs are so I’m just holding out. My scan should be in roughly two weeks as I’m 5 weeks on Tuesday. I guess it will be close to yours. I’m actually feeling pretty chilled at the moment. Taking the progesterone and aspirin has made me feel a bit more in control. We’ve organised finances now so I don’t have to work if I don’t want to so just planning to keep busy and hope for the best. I feel strangely I’ll be ok no matter what. With my first pregnancy I felt like the world would end if anything went wrong. That didn’t happen and I gained a loss of resilience. Obviously we very much want this baby but I will not let my mental health suffer when there’s nothing else I can do. The outcome is already decided and we should know in a couple of weeks what’s going to happen.

If you’re feeling anxious it’s totally understandable though I’m sure now you’re this far in your odds are very good. I’d go and get a scan sooner if it’s going to help. I just wish there was an easier way of knowing all is ok. Good you’re feeling symptoms though. Hope you’re still managing to get stuff done despite the fatigue.

Hey @3204ECL good to hear from you. That really is a long slog between 12 and 20 weeks. I can imagine hard as well with the symptoms dying off. I’d definitely book in another scan to break it up. I hope the midwife appointment goes well! Xx

@Thatgirl123 I’m sorry for your loss. I hear you on the sickness front. I’m suffering too. Holding off on the medication though until I’m a bit further in. It’s hard feeling twinges but so much is changing in your body at the moment. Hopefully they’ll die down soon! If you’ve got an upset tummy some of it could be bowel stuff. Are you having an early scan? Xx

sadtoday21 Sun 11-Aug-19 09:36:19

@Catconfusion I am glad that you are coping so far both with the anxiety and the sickness. It is good to feel in control of the process as much as possible and you are totally right about building up resilience.

I think one of the problems is that I haven’t yet passed the milestone of losing the first baby at 9+4. So I keep thinking it can still easily all go wrong. I know it’s just in my head, but I would have felt better having a good scan at 10 weeks rather than 9. I think you are right though, just need to book another scan in between now and 12 weeks - this is a higher point of anxiety for me than earlier in the pregnancy, so probably just need a bit of extra reassurance that only a scan can give. I might try to hold out for another week until 10+2. DH thinks the baby is healthy because we saw it moving, but I think that’s probably normal at 8+6.

Totally agree @3204ECL that the gap between 12 and 20 weeks is far too long. I think I would be planning one at 14 and then maybe 16. Once you feel movement, the anxiety probably reduces a lot. I think you should start to feel it around 16-18 weeks. Thinking of you xxx.

Have any of you ladies seen these at home ultrasound machines that you can rent for 70 pounds for a week? Seems to good to be true, but lots of detailed info about how safe it is and how you can do it yourself and see the baby on the computer. Just curious about whether anyone has looked into this?

sadtoday21 Sun 11-Aug-19 09:39:50

Sorry for your loss @Thatgirl123 and congrats on your new pregnancy. It’s totally normal to feel anxious, but hopefully the sickness is a good sign that everything is healthy this time around!

BabyPending Sun 11-Aug-19 09:44:30

@sadtoday21 thank you for checking in. I've done another IC test this morning and it's definitely darker than 2 days ago just not as dark as I would like. I am only 14 DPO though so I need to not put so much pressure on myself! Doing another FRER tomorrow to compare to yesterday's one so 🤞🏻 hope you are doing well sweetie, sounds like things are progressing well! I hope your anxieties are getting better with each passing week!

Time feels like it's slower than the 2WW now waiting for my dark line lol

Xx

Kiki061190 Sun 11-Aug-19 09:50:07

Good morning ladies!

I finally plucked up the courage to take another test and had my strong positive on an Internet cheapie. That’s all I have lying around the house but I figure a strong positive on one of them if good.

I definitely feel the same as you @Catconfusion my tummy is quite delicate just now. I also agree with what you said about the fact you can’t change the outcome, I suppose only time will tell.

@sadtoday21 I would book in a scan if you feel it will be reassuring and also it might help break up the wait until the 12 week scan. Yous are almost there! A good 10 week scan might be just what you need ♥️

Catconfusion Sun 11-Aug-19 10:55:56

Hey @BabyPending it’s reassuring your line looked a bit darker. Hopefully a strong positive tomorrow on an FRER. Fingers crossed for you. Xx

Good to see you here @kiki061190 and great news about the strong positive. I’m sorry to hear your stomach is still delicate. We had a pizza express yesterday and I had the pizza with salad in the middle. I don’t normally have gluten or dairy so was expecting it to be bad. Miraculously it was absolutely fine. I then had a very sensible dinner last night and this morning it was explosive again. I’m wondering with me if it’s the progesterone pessaries. The only thing to do is keep fibre intake up. Also I’m taking a pregnancy probiotic. Hopefully our tummy’s will adjust to the hormones soon! Xx

Kiki061190 Sun 11-Aug-19 13:23:38

I know it’s odd @Catconfusion apart from that, cramp and tiredness I have no symptoms but I think that was the same as last time. I think I started to feel nauseous close to 7 weeks last time!

Amanda81 Sun 11-Aug-19 14:15:52

Hey all!

Thanks for setting up the new thread @sadtoday21 - it does help to have a zone where you can share all the pregnancy related chat etc away from those who are waiting to get their positive HPT's. TTC is hard enough!

For those new to the previous thread, I am 38 and have had 2 previous MC's. The first being a MMC found at the 12 week scan, where baby's heart beat had stopped at 10+1; and the second MC at 5+5. I am now pregnant again and am 20+2! Up until 16/17 weeks the anxiety was still very high and was flipping between laid back horizontal approach and scatty crazy lady. I started to feel her move around 17 weeks whilst on holiday and the movement is feeling stronger now - albeit not the strong kicks which I am so desperately eager to feel.

I had my anomaly scan last Tuesday and all looks well and I am attaching my scan picture (which I didn't want to share in the other thread).

@3204ECL - I know that stage all too well where the first trimester symptoms start to fade and not much is really happening. I was quite frankly a mess at this stage. All was well though and I really should have enjoyed not feeling so fatigued all the time. Now that I am well in to the second trimester I have no first trimester symptoms at all, but think I am developing pelvic girdle pain. The only way that I could believe that all was well with her was scans. Extra scans can be expensive, but in my view just help so much. Perhaps get some booked in if you can. Hope you are doing well 😃 xx

You do suffer with the pregnancy symptoms @Catconfusion! Very sorry to hear this. I hope you don't get too bed-ridden with them. So pleased to hear that you are finding the mental game fairly easy at the moment...even if you have a few hours of solitude and mental restful-ness you are doing well.

Great news to hear about your scan *@sadtoday21*. You are doing really well and you will soon have your 12 week scan out of the way. This is great news!

I have another MW appointment on Wednesday and also the whooping cough jab! Apparently the whooping cough jab can really hurt your arm afterwards and can make you feel a little lousy for a few days. Really hoping this isn't the case, but will let you all know. I was supposed to have it when I was 16 weeks, but wanted to defer until after the 20 week scan.

sadtoday21 Sun 11-Aug-19 14:54:22

@Amanda81 I've said it before, but wow that is an amazing scan photo. I don't think I have ever seen one so clear and so beautiful. Adorable! Good luck with your appointment on Wednesday, hopefully the jab won't hurt too much. Is there a reason you waited until after 20 weeks? Do you have any more scans now or is that it?

I think you are right about the scans and the anxiety. Was it hard for you approaching the 10 week mark? Did you feel better after or not really until after the 12 week scan? It's so hard for me because I don't have strong symptoms either way, so I really don't know if everything is ok in there unless/until I see it on the scan. Even then I still cannot look at it until the sonographer says "there's the hb." Anyway, I think I won't get any more NHS scans until 12 weeks, so I'll have to either pay or wait it out. I'm reluctant to go private because of the cost and also because if it is bad news you have to go back to NHS and get scanned again. I might just ask the EPAU if they would see me one more time at around 10+5.

Amanda81 Sun 11-Aug-19 15:05:58

Thanks @sadtoday21 - I didn't want the whooping cough jab until I was half way through. I guess it is the negative side of me saying 'no point of having medicine pumped in to you if there is no need'. Now that I am half way through i feel better about having it. I guess there was also some scepticism about having it as all seemed to go wrong after I had the flu jab last time...so perhaps a little phobia about jabs. I am however pro vaccination in every sense. I think we will get a scan in 3-4 weeks time, or sooner if negative nancy makes an appearance. My plan is to keep busy and to allocate time to concentrate on her movements. There seems to be a little bit of a pattern forming as to when she is particularly active, so plan to down tools and just sit and enjoy/concentrate on the movements.

Tbh I didn't feel any better with the anxiety until I started feeling flutterings. Also, whenever I go for a scan I expect to hear the worst, so have a love hate relationship with scans. My symptoms weren't particularly strong either and they would come and go. The strongest symptom for me was fatigue, I couldn't function without an afternoon nap. Some days where better than others, but just assumed that when I was feeling particularly wiped out she was having a growth spurt...so was happy to have a snooze if it helped her grow.

I hope the epau will see you one more time. How much are the private scans in your area? What is your strongest symptom? Xx

Catconfusion Sun 11-Aug-19 15:25:21

Thanks @Amanda81 thank you so much for sharing your journey and I’m so pleased you’ve got to where you are. Your scan is very beautiful.

At the moment I just feel like we have a plan and that’s really helping. I know the anxiety will come back, especially when I get to the point of having a scan. I’m just taking each day as it comes and trying to surrender to it as much as possible. I think the helplessness is the trigger. I do feel though that now I understand what might happen in the worst case scenario I’m prepared if we are unlucky again. I just don’t want my mental health to get low again.

Is anyone else struggling with temperature control? I keep feeling shivery and needing a jumper then overwhelmingly hot. Guess there’s a lot in the body going on! Xx

Amanda81 Sun 11-Aug-19 15:27:26

I had shivers in the evening @Catconfusion - I would lay there with three blankets and a dressing gown on.

Catconfusion Sun 11-Aug-19 15:30:10

That’s good to hear @Amanda81 I’m not going crazy. DH left me to go shopping and I was exhausted so had a nap on the sofa. He put a blanket over me because I was shivery. When he came back I woke up sweating and too hot. I just keep flirting between the too. I guess the body is trying to do a lot at the moment. Xx

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