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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnancy after Miscarriage

999 replies

sadtoday21 · 10/08/2019 14:07

Starting a new thread for all of us that find ourselves pregnant again after one or more heartbreaking losses. I know it is really hard to join a pregnancy thread after miscarriage and we all fear the worst will happen again, but let's go on this journey together and hold hands along the way.

This is a safe place for all the ladies on the first pregnancy missed miscarriage thread and for any newcomers who want to join - you are all most welcome! All of the ladies on here have suffered one or more miscarriages and most of us have had particularly difficult losses, such as mmc and other complications. You don't need to be pregnant again to join - you are also most welcome if you have had a loss and are trying again. But we will be sharing scan photos and details of the new pregnancies, in case anyone might find that to be triggering.

Tagging @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @Kiki061190 @3204ECL @Babypending @Ginmonkey84 @MrsMGE and please add anyone else I may have left off. Without further ado, let's start the roll call.

About me: Age 31, trying for my first baby. Previous mmc at 12 weeks in February (hb stopped at 9+4), this turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy and I was monitored by CX hospital for three months. CP in March.

Now 9 weeks, EDD in March, if I make it that long. Oscillating between hope and extreme anxiety every day!

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Catconfusion · 19/08/2019 11:22

@bananamonkey yes it feels so close yet so far. I will keep myself busy in the meantime. Thanks for sharing about your positive scan. I'm not expecting to see much but that sweet heartbeat would positively make my year. I'm sure you haven't jinxed it and wise to get bases covered now. xx

@Kiki061190 I wish I could get excited about the sickness but I felt the same last time and it was a bad outcome. My body is so sensitive to the hormones. Hopefully this time it's actually a good sign. How are you feeling today? xx

Kiki061190 · 19/08/2019 11:34

@Catconfusion I’m still feeling no symptoms but only 5+4 just now so hoping all is ok in there! For my fingers crossed for you!

Catconfusion · 19/08/2019 12:37

@Kiki061190 I’m sure it’s all fine. I really don’t trust the symptoms. I read a post by a lady who’d had 5 pregnancies with 3 losses. She’d not really had symptoms in any of the pregnancies and said they felt the same. The sickness might kick in for you soon though. I was six weeks last time so it is a bit early this time. Try not to worry if it doesn’t. Xx

Kiki061190 · 19/08/2019 16:25

@Catconfusion it’s hard not knowing what’s going on in there! I didn’t get any nausea until almost 7 weeks last time and that was with twins. I know it’s a bit early so just crossing my fingers. Lots to keep me busy these next few weeks! You must be so excited for your scan!

Catconfusion · 19/08/2019 16:47

@Kiki061190 it’s the worst not knowing isn’t it!? Once I got to 6 weeks last time I read how much mc chances go down and stopped worrying. Mmc s seemed so rare. Know I realise you just never know. There’s nothing that can be done so it’s just a case of keeping busy and taking it as it comes. Maybe the sickness will kick in soon for you then. Xx

Kiki061190 · 19/08/2019 19:00

@Catconfusion Last time I just knew something was off. When I went for my scan I knew it would be bad news, I just had a gut feeling. Not quite sure how I’m feeling about this one yet!

Catconfusion · 19/08/2019 21:29

@Kiki061190 it’s interesting you got a gut feeling. I’d been lulled into a false sense of security by the sickness so really wasn’t expecting a mmc as my symptoms were so strong. I guess just see how you feel in the coming weeks. I really hope this is it for birth of us! x

Catconfusion · 19/08/2019 21:29

*both

Kiki061190 · 20/08/2019 08:28

@Catconfusion Fingers crossed! How’s the sickness today?

sadtoday21 · 20/08/2019 09:09

That's interesting you had a feeling @Kiki061190, I also had no idea, just like @Catconfusion. I guess I stupidly thought that no bleeding = all is well. Wish it were that simple, right?

So I am quietly freaking out over here about the 12 week scan. My symptoms seemed to have gotten lighter right around when I hit 10 weeks, even though they were quiet light to begin with. Did this happen to you @3204ECL or @Amanda81? I am 10+3 today and the waiting until 11+6 for the scan seems like an eternity. Not sure how to control this new anxiety.

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Kiki061190 · 20/08/2019 11:19

@sadtoday21 It’s so understandable that you would feel anxious at this point! You are almost there!!!! You’ve made it so far ♥️ Have you got things to keep you busy until the next scan?

Catconfusion · 20/08/2019 12:13

@Kiki061190 it’s got worse. I was up at 3am eating toast. It’s a little triggering because when I got sick last time was when the baby stopped progressing. I know logically it’s unlikely to play out in exactly the same way. I’m obviously just very sensitive to the hormones. How are you feeling today?

@sadtoday21 you are doing amazingly well. It’s completely understandable to be anxious about the 12 week scan. I will be the same. All you can do is find as many distractions as possible.

nicola18737 · 20/08/2019 13:51

I'm 39 and am expecting baby number 2. I've been having brown bleeding since friday and passed a brown clot today, so I'm pretty petrified right now. It took us a year to get pregnant both times, so I'm just so sad that I think we're going to have another year long wait :(

Kiki061190 · 20/08/2019 14:26

@Catconfusion Toast can help a lot tho! I am feeling very very drained today! Have a day off tomorrow and really feeling like I need a good rest. Just can’t shake the tiredness.

@nicola18737 Sorry to hear you have had some bleeding! Have you phoned the EPU to see what they recommend? They may scan you!

Catconfusion · 20/08/2019 18:53

@Kiki061190 toast is a lifesaver! I hope you’re coping ok with the fatigue. Good you’re getting a day off. I’ve felt I feel a bit better after a day of total rest.

I spoke to the doctor today. She’s said in order to get me a scan she’s told EPAU I have some cramping. I was really surprised because EPAU said they would see me when I was pregnant again at 7 weeks because I had a mmc. My doctor said it’s a white lie because I did have some low down pain a couple of weeks ago. I do admire her willingness to work the system to get her patients treatment but it’s such a shame to have to lie. I think I’m going to get an appointment with PALs to talk about this issue with scans after mc. There’s so much inconsistency. Anyway I should be getting a call to book me in next week tomorrow. Xx

Kiki061190 · 21/08/2019 07:51

@Catconfusion you know it really is a shame that she had to do that just to get you a scan! We pay our taxes ect therefore we should be allowed a scan which in reality doesn’t take very long, especially after what you have previously been through. The system is so inconsistent! I am completely flat out, I want to stay in my bed today and rest but I know I have a lunch to go to and some cleaning to do around the house!

Guest1233 · 21/08/2019 08:11

I had a miscarriage in may this year. Found out we was pregnant again in june. I am currently 10 weeks 5 days. I have been so worried but this eased the further along I went. Since yesterday I have had brown discharge and lower pelvic pains, feeling dizzy to. I just want to cry. I have other children which I have when I was in my late teens early twenties but feel my age 32 is against me this time.

My partner and I was so excited but now it's just worry. We mapped our life out with both pregnancies to like fully prepared for everything. I dont know if this will happen for us. I have an internal scan today. I didnt sleep at all last night. When checking this morning there was so much more Brown discharge.
I know I should wait to see what the scan says but I already feel my baby has gone.

3204ECL · 21/08/2019 08:28

Hi All, sorry I've been a bit absent I had a busy weekend and have had a busy few weeks at work. I've got a day off today so have just been catching up on all your messages.

@sadtoday21 I totally understand how you are feeling. I didn't have particularly strong symptoms either, just fatigue, nausea and lack of appetite. At around 10 weeks they started to fade and I was terrified. I had a private scan at around 10 weeks which was reassuring but then it was a long wait (almost 3 weeks) until the 12 week scan. I was lucky that work was very busy at the time which was a good distraction but time still seemed like it was standing still. You will get there and I must say there was a greater sense of relief after the 12 week scan but it still only lasted for about 2 weeks for me until I booked another private scan! I also totally understand how you feel about telling the family I was exactly the same. We had them all (both sides) over for a BBQ and it was the perfect opportunity but I just didn't feel ready. DH was determined and actually afterwards I felt a huge relief. I made sure we have a scan the day before just to check in!

@Catconfusion Hope the sickness isn't too bad and getting some rest helped. Agree on the inconsistency with the scans, it seems to vary so much on where you live as well. Your GP seems very supportive which is amazing.

@Kiki061190 How are you doing? Fatigue was my main symptom early on as well. The nausea didn't really kick in properly until about 6 weeks and even then it was sporadic.

@BabyPending really hoping you are ok and sending lots of love.

I am now 16+1 and doing ok. My scan last week has given me some relief and I have my first midwife appointment tomorrow which I'm looking forward to. We've decided to get another scan next Friday before we go on holiday and we're going to find out what we're having! Having that to look forward to will hopefully help the next week and half go a bit quicker! xxx

Kiki061190 · 21/08/2019 09:31

@3204ECL I’m 6 weeks tomorrow but still no nausea. Hoping it kicks in soon! How exciting that you will be finding out what you are having soon!!!!

I finally plucked up the courage to call the midwife and book in my appointments. My booking appointment is in 4 weeks and my scan the first week in October if I make it that far!

Catconfusion · 21/08/2019 09:44

@Kiki061990 that’s great news you’re booked in. I’m sure it will kick in soon. Hope your energy levels are better today. If not rest up as much as you can.

@3204ECL it’s great to hear from you. Good luck with the midwife appointment. Yes it’s very inconsistent. I’m going to have to say something to PALs Ithink as it’s playing on my mind.

@Guest1233 I’m so sorry you find yourself in this situation. Hopefully it will pass and is normal but I can understand the worry.

@nicola18737 I hope you get some good news soon and it’s nothing to worry about.

Urgh so I’m officially incapacitated by the nausea. I managed to get from bed to the sofa but I’m struggling to stand or get up. I’m pretty sure I’ll vomit if I move too much. It’s like last time and I fear this is it for me now in terms of being able to do anything. I’m holding out on taking the Medication until we’ve had a scan. The GP said this is wise if I can wait. It’s unnervingly like my first pregnancy but I hope the outcome is different. I’ve joined a hyperemesis support group on here so I’ve got some helpful things I can try. Already got sickness bands on. I just hope we don’t lose this one. It’s exhausting being this ill and I don’t mind if all ok but if not it’s all for no reason. I’m just trying to stay as positive as possible. Xx

Kiki061190 · 21/08/2019 10:03

@Catconfusion Omg that sounds awful! It’s good that you are able to have some time off work tho to rest as you most certainly need it! I’m feeling absolutely exhausted today, my head is sore and I am already back in bed. The fatigue is just awful!

BabyPending · 21/08/2019 11:21

Hi ladies,

Just an update from me, I'm going to be leaving this thread. My pregnancy turned out to be ectopic and I was rushed into theatre within 40 mins of the scan. I sadly as a result, I lost my left tube due to a rupture and internal bleeding and to say my world is shattered is an understatement. I would appreciate any success stories anyone knows of, for others in my situation of 2 MC and ectopic with removal. I'm numb to everything and just want it all to be over now.

Xx

Catconfusion · 21/08/2019 11:38

I’m so so sorry @BabyPending this is shocking news and my heart goes out to you ❤️. I have heard of other ladies going on to fall pregnant after loss and ectopic. I can’t think of specific names but I’m sure there’s a couple on the pregnancy thread. Please don’t give up hope. Just look after yourself and rest up. It sounds like you have a long road ahead but you will get through this! We are here if you need us! Xxx

sadtoday21 · 21/08/2019 11:50

@3204ECL great to hear from you! Thanks for your kind words, it really helped me to hear your experience around this same time. I guess the symptoms do really come and go, which can be even more scary if they are light to begin with. Do you have any symptoms now? Any movements yet? You must be so excited to find out the gender soon!! Any guesses? Hope your midwife appointment goes well tomorrow and you are going somewhere nice for your holiday! Xxx

@Catconfusion I'm so sorry the nausea is hitting in full force now. I know it must be scary to feel the same way as last time, but as you always tell us, this is a new pregnancy. I think some women just react a certain way to the hormone levels and it has nothing to do with whether the baby is healthy, at least most of the time. You and I seem to be on opposite sides of the spectrum on this one. Do you notice any differences with the first pregnancy, even subtle ones? I was freaking out about this too because in both I didn't have morning sickness, but I did have terrible acne in the first pregnancy (due to extremely high hcg levels from the partial molar) and this time I have clear, glowing skin (like I always thought should be the case in pregnancy!). So, even though on first glance the two pregnancies were similar in terms of the more obvious symptoms/lack of symptoms, I do notice some subtle differences if I really focus on it. Maybe this is also the case with you? Even if it isn't, it's still very early and your symptoms can easily change from day to day! Glad you found some hyperemesis support and I hope you can just relax and rest today! Thinking of you Xxx

@Guest1233 I am really sorry you are having this anxiety right now. I am very close in dates to you and also had an mmc before at 12 weeks. I am 10+4 now. I am also almost 32 as well, or I will be in a month, so please don't feel that your age has anything to do with it! You were very young when you had your last pregnancies, but that doesn't make you old now. 32 is a prime age for having children (this would be my first). The risk of having additional problems does not statistically increase until 35, and even then there are many many women (some of whom are on here) who have perfectly healthy babies in their 40s. Your age has absolutely nothing to do with what you are going through right now, so please do not worry about that. Brown discharge can also be perfectly normal in pregnancy, so long as its not red and heavy. I really hope your scan goes well today and that its not what you think. Sending you hugs!

@nicola18737 hope you are doing ok and that the bleeding has stopped xxx.

@Kiki061190 I am with you on the fatigue, I am absolutely exhausted! Very glad you got your appointment and scan booked in for October - how many weeks will you be then? I know its hard to make these appointments when you don't know how things will turn out, but its good you took this first step!

As for me, I'm 10+4 today, starting to feel that the scan date is slightly less far away (just a week from Friday). I am trying to keep busy with work to distract myself, but its not easy! I felt like my symptoms were lessening a few days ago, but today woke up really hungry, nauseous, and extremely exhausted. I definitely don't have a lack of appetite - I am starving all the time! I feel like I'm eating twice as much as before, if not more, but only putting on 0.2-0.4 kilos at most. I don't remember being this hungry with the last one, although I seem to remember that hormones surge around 10 weeks, so this could be why. I am also cold all the time and started wearing heavier sweaters outside - anyone else feeling this way? I just really hope everything is ok in there, but I know its out of my control in the end. Hope everyone else is hanging in there!

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sadtoday21 · 21/08/2019 11:56

@BabyPending I'm so so sorry, I just read your post. You have been through two traumas now of the worst kind and my heart really goes out to you. If there is anything we can do or if you need someone to talk to, we are all here for you. You deserved so much better than this and I wish there was something we could do to take away the pain. I have read countless stories on MN of women who have had ectopic and lost their left or right tube and gone on to have perfectly healthy babies, sometimes even getting pregnant just a few months later. Even with one tube you have a good chance of ovulating out of the right side and catching again, as far as I understand it. There are many happy ending stories out there and I know you will be one of them in time, even if that feels impossible right now. Thinking of you and sending you a really big hug and best possible wishes for your speedy recovery Xxx.

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