Pregnancy after Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Starting a new thread for all of us that find ourselves pregnant again after one or more heartbreaking losses. I know it is really hard to join a pregnancy thread after miscarriage and we all fear the worst will happen again, but let's go on this journey together and hold hands along the way.

This is a safe place for all the ladies on the first pregnancy missed miscarriage thread and for any newcomers who want to join - you are all most welcome! All of the ladies on here have suffered one or more miscarriages and most of us have had particularly difficult losses, such as mmc and other complications. You don't need to be pregnant again to join - you are also most welcome if you have had a loss and are trying again. But we will be sharing scan photos and details of the new pregnancies, in case anyone might find that to be triggering.

Tagging @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @Kiki061190 @3204ECL @Babypending @Ginmonkey84 @MrsMGE and please add anyone else I may have left off. Without further ado, let's start the roll call.

About me: Age 31, trying for my first baby. Previous mmc at 12 weeks in February (hb stopped at 9+4), this turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy and I was monitored by CX hospital for three months. CP in March.

Now 9 weeks, EDD in March, if I make it that long. Oscillating between hope and extreme anxiety every day!

Good Morning! Lovely to hear from @Amanda81 glad all is going well.

Feeling a bit more positive today now I’m 16 dpo as all the chemicals had finished by now. Have stopped temping but still doing some tests, they are progressing though that’s good news. Am feeling quite anxious at times, not helped by the insomnia, was up for a couple of hours stressing the other night at 4am. Am feeling quite rough today so taking that as a good sign. I’m stealing the pregnant today mantra, taking it one day at a time is the way forward!

Wow 10 weeks already @sadtoday21, that’s amazing and you’re doing so well, keep hanging in there x

@sadtoday21 I am a little more bloated. I had cramps last week but nothing this week other than I’m so so tired! I remember nausea kicking in at 7 weeks last time so we’ll see if that happens. Only 2 weeks left until your 12 week scan! You are almost there ♥️

@Amanda81 thanks so much! Doing fab just hoping for some symptoms in the next couple of weeks. Glad you have been able to visit family!

Hey @sadtoday21 - I think that's one of the negatives about family visiting, you don't get the down time to sit and feel her movements. At this stage the kicks and movements are quite subtle and if busy, can go missed. It's causing me a little bit of stress if I'm honest. However, I have squirrelled myself away for a couple of hours to catch up on some work whilst the folks are in the garden. We don't have another scan booked, but most likely will get one during the first week of September once all the family visits have stopped. Great news you have got to 10 weeks, it's a difficult time as there are quite a few big appointments coming up, but you have done the hard work (1/4 of the way through!). Well done. I opted out of the NHS tests so can't say from experience how long it takes. Have heard that if something is of concern they will call you within three days as they need to carry out the other tests before a certain gestation. I'm sure there will be nothing wrong though, but understand the worrying.

Good to hear from you @Catconfusion and that you are coping with level of sickness so far. Work has been okay to be honest. I am finding it hard to fit in work and family visits, but that's normal (it was the same last August). If I was in my first trimester now I wouldn't be able to do family visits, work and deal with the nausea/fatigue. Thankfully family are understanding, but I do feel that I am 'on' 24/7 with hosting duties. It's all self inflicted! If she arrives in her due date, or around it, I plan to take a solid 8-10 weeks off work completely, this should be Jan/Feb and a bit of March. I won't be working any of Dec before she arrives and have planned my projects/clients accordingly (so far). I then plan to get back into the swing of things from March, but won't be full time. We both work from home offices, so looking after her should be fine, and DH is super keen to be just as much involved as I am, so we will be sharing responsibility equally - this way neither business will suffer. Considering I only plan to take a couple of months off i won't bother with SMP/SMA and will continue to pay my salary and dividend as usual...thankfully the business as fine well over the last two years and have retained my profit margins to tie me over if required. I'm expecting a bit of a lull between Jan-May. What do you think you will do?

Oh the insomnia @bananamonkey - I had this and it was awful! Awake at stupid o clock and couldn't get back to sleep until the alarm went off. It does get better!

Tiredness and fatigue was my biggest symptom @Kiki061190 - I often found myself a sleep on the sofa during the afternoon between week 6 and 11. The other symptoms will kick in soon enough. Really looking forward to having our house back to normal, but do like that the family visit us as opposed to me traveling up north for 5 hours!

@Kiki061190 I am also so so tired! So much more so than last time. I practically fall asleep at my desk and I'm in bed by 9 pm. It's making me very unproductive! Not sure what the trick is to dealing with the extreme fatigue tbh, I'm totally off the smell/taste of coffee, but really dragging! Let me know if you find any good ways of dealing with it :).

Thanks @bananamonkey and I'm glad you are feeling a bit more positive now, albeit extremely exhausted! I personally felt that once I made to 16-18 dpo, the risk of cp was basically gone. This is an important milestone to cross off the list!

@Amanda81 how many weeks are you now? I think your plan for taking off from work sounds very sensible indeed. I have this crazy notion that I'll just carry on, but I know that's ridiculous as I'm already dragging at only 10 weeks. Hope you get some time tonight to bond with baby moving more! I'm really hoping I make it through to get to experience that.

Hey @Kiki061190 - no idea if the plan will go to plan, but it's a start. I was 21 weeks yesterday, but still anxious that something will go wrong - silly I know as by now you'd think I'd be a little more at ease. Once I feel movement again, I am sure I will be happier. I had to give in to the fatigue as I couldn't get through the day without a 2 hour nap (erm sleep).

At my friends tonight and she offered me a glass of wine and I politely declined and she just winked at me and poured me a non alcoholic drink in a wine glass to hide it from everyone. Some friends are amazing!

@Kiki061190 your friend sounds amazing! I'm glad you have great support like that.

So tomorrow is my original due date and that feels a bit hard, even though I'm incredibly grateful to be pregnant again. Just feeling a bit anxious as the 12 week scan approaches (just two weeks to go!). And I just learned that my whole family is coming to London in September when I would be about 14 weeks to celebrate my birthday and have a nice vacation, which is amazing, but they don't know about the pregnancy yet and now I feel a bit of pressure about the whole thing going well. I really want to tell them when they are all here in London together and it's the first grandchild in the family so it would be a really special moment. Just afraid that all will go wrong again and I won't have this amazing moment with them. Does that sound odd?

How are you doing @Catconfusion? Is your scan this week?

@sadtoday21 She’s amazing! I’m very lucky! I know what you mean, the pressure is hard! You’ve made it this far and the odds are definitely in your favour. I have a really good feeling that all is going to go well for you ♥️ Do you have plans or how you will tell your family? This would be the first grandchild for our family too so definitely understand the pressure. Our wedding is in 18 months so this is really our last try to have a baby before then. If this doesn’t work then we’ll need to put it off until the end of next year as I would be giving birth too close to the big day!

Hey ladies, sorry for the absence: mixture of tiredness and we were out all day yesterday.

@Amanda81 it sounds like you’ve got it really well planned. So lovely you and DH will both be home with the baby. It’s a bit like that with my DH. He’s a radio producer on the morning show so he’s home at 1pm so much more able to share responsibilities. I’ll be off work until the 7 week scan and then we’re going to see how I’m feeling. Last time I wasn’t capable of working so we’re hoping that doesn’t happen. If it does I’ll take some more time off. Hopefully by 12 weeks I’ll be feeling well enough to work. If so I’ll take on some projects part time. We’re lucky that we only have a very small mortgage so outgoings are very low. Like you I’ll probably take a few months off. Xx

@Kiki061190 I’m still pretty fatigued but we managed a shopping trip, meal and cinema yesterday. It was lovely to get out with DH. I’m suffering a bit today as we walked a lot. Your friend sounds lovely. Xx

@sadtoday21 I’m not sure when the scan will be, probably early next week. The GP is calling in the next few days to get it booked. I’m getting a bit more nervous now and excited all at the same time. It’s tough being in limbo but I figure it’s not for too much longer. Xx

I worked out on Wednesday I’ll be 6 plus 1 and it’s the due date of our first baby also the point at which they think our baby stopped growing. I’m hoping it’s not going to be a hard day. I guess I’ll feel grief for that baby and worry for the current baby and that’s normal but I’m going to try and be as strong as I can. I’m so grateful to be pregnant again and I know we have good chances if this working out. Xx

@Catconfusion Great that you got to spend some quality time with DH! It must be hard as your due date approaches but it’s fantastic that you’re pregnant again and as you say the odds are in your favour! I have a day off on Wednesday so I’m going to phone and arrange a booking appointment and get a date for a 12 week scan.

@Kiki061190 It feels quite bittersweet I guess. I'm so glad I'm pregnant again before the due date as it would have been much harder if I wasn't. JUst so odd I'll be 6 plus 1 on the day. I'm sure I'll be fine. We're so close to getting a scan now.

Great you're feeling confident enough to book the midwife and scan. I've got a really good feeling about this pregnancy. xx

@Catconfusion Thank you so much! Do you feel time is going quickly? I’ll be almost 6 weeks when I phone to book in the booking appointment so I felt that was a good time to wait until!

@Kiki061190 tell me the secret to your time going so fast haha! It is inching along for me, I can barely believe it has only been a few days since my last scan. Next Friday seems unbearably far away. Make your booking appointment and get that 12 week scan on the calendar! Glad you are doing so well Xxx.

How are you doing @BabyPending and @bananamonkey?

Sorry about the anniversary @Catconfusion - I think you and I were due only two days apart! Crazy. I do feel less sad than I might have been otherwise, but it's still hard. I just really hope this time goes better for both of us and we are bringing those babies home in March/April. Hope you get better treatment at the GP this time and have no trouble booking in for that seven week scan to see the hb!!

@sadtoday21 Hi lovely, sorry I've been MIA recently! Going through hell if I'm honest, spotting has continued to this day and I had a little bit of red when I wiped on Saturday so I've pretty much accepted this is my third MC. My HCG was only 185 at 18/19DPO but have an appointment with EPU tomorrow for a scan and hopefully more bloods so I can have some answers and closure! Below are my lines, seemed to get lighter yesterday and darkest it's ever been today. I'm praying for a miracle but it's not looking hopeful, I will know more tomorrow. At least now if this is my 3rd, they will finally refer me for testing and I'm thankful I fell pregnant so quickly after my second MC, the only silver lining is we are a little closer to answers a bit quicker than I expected.

I hope everyone else is well and coping okay with the pregnancy symptoms and anxiety I know still lingers around, you are all strong! Xx

@sadtoday21 I’m sorry to you too. It is crazy we’re so close in due dates. I guess it just is what it is: tough but better than it would have been now we have hope. Will you mark the day in any way? My GP is really good and on it with everything so definitely getting a scan referral. It’s the midwives I’ve had issues with. I can’t wait now. Time has definitely started to slow down a bit. Xx

@Kiki061190 I hope time continues to move quickly for you. I’m 6 weeks tomorrow. Just can’t wait for my scan now. How are you feeling? Xx

@BabyPending I’m so sorry you’re going through this. That last test looks super dark so it’s confusing. I really hope it’s not what you think. Good luck for tomorrow! Xx

The nausea is in full force today so got my sickness bands on which for now is helping. It feels like a hangover. I’ve just accepted this is how my body is during pregnancy. I’m just glad DH and I sorted out finances so I don’t have to work. Im not sure I could today. It’s ok though. I’m just glad I’m expecting again. Xx

@Catconfusion today I am just planning on working for a few hours in the afternoon, so not really marking the day in any way. I think it would make me feel worse tbh. I just want to focus on this new pregnancy and look to the future. Are you marking the day on Wednesday? I'm glad your GP is on it - that is important! And I think you will find that time really slows down before and after the scans. My first 7 weeks went pretty fast too actually, particularly since I was on vacation for part of the time, but it just dragged by after that and the anxiety is getting worse and worse as 12 weeks approaches. Of course, the 7 week scan was incredibly nerve-wracking too! You will feel better afterwards for about a day and then worry all over again :/.

So sorry to hear your news @BabyPending, I really hope its not what you think and that you have a good appointment tomorrow!! Your latest line looks really dark! I have everything crossed for you. Thinking of you Xxx.

@sadtoday I hope you feel as ok as possible. Work can be a good distraction. You’re right though, this pregnancy is the most important thing. Take care and hopefully there will be a sense of relief when this day passes.

I feel similarly that I think marking it would make it worse. Also I would have had an elective c section so unlikely that day would have been the day. If I’m feeling ok I might just do something nice with DH. Maybe catch a film or something. It’s really sad but I feel like I’ve done the majority of the grieving for that pregnancy. It will never go away but I’m at peace with it. Mainly I’ll be trying not to worry about the current pregnancy as it will be exactly the point the first one stopped progressing to the day. The nausea isn’t reassuring as I felt like this last time. I’m just focusing on the unlikelihood of going through something so traumatic again. Xx

@BabyPending I’m so sorry you’re going through this, your last test does look super dark. Best of luck for your appointment tomorrow, will be thinking of you x

Thanks for asking @sadtoday21, I’m ok, original due date passed yesterday and it was ok, I didn’t even remember till the evening but was busy having a nice family day. Had 2 nights of good sleep for the first time in a couple of weeks which has made me feel better but at the same time makes me anxious it’s a bad sign.

Hey @bananamonkey I’m glad to hear your due date passed ok. Sounds like you had a lovely day nether the less. We must have literally been in the same hospital the same week with out losses. How are you feeling about going back to EPAU? I felt they were lovely so I’m feeling ok. Just hoping it’s good news.

It’s good you got some sleep. I’ve been sleeping loads. Fatigue is probably a good sign as lots of changes happening. Xx

Thanks @Catconfusion I went back to EPAU for a pregnancy test a few weeks after the surgery and I cried over the nurse but the staff there are all so lovely. I sat outside it last week waiting for my bloods and felt ok. It’s the ultrasound department that I’m not sure I can cope with again if I get that far, that was just the worst moment of my life.

@bananamonkey sorry about you due date yesterday, but I'm really glad you got through it ok for the most part. We were also only a day apart! I know it's hard not to read into every sign, but good sleep is by no means something to worry about. Maybe you just felt more relaxed about the pregnancy and that helped you sleep? Anyway, being really tired and sleeping a lot is a good sign - I fall asleep at 9 pm these days! But I also feel a bit wobbly about symptoms coming and going - mine weren't strong to being with, but I do feel somewhat better entering into week 10 and that terrifies me! I am glad your EPAU was so caring, mine is also amazing. You are right, it's the ultrasound department that is the worst because of all the bad memories. I had my second scan in the exact same room as my mmc! I couldn't believe it, but just had to grit my teeth and get through it, luckily that time all was well. But it is really hard going back to the same place. When is your scan?

You did so well getting through that @Sadtoday21 x

I did nod off in the afternoon yesterday! Having a lot of lower backaches, not painful just twinges and some stretchy ligament feelings but the coming and going is really tough. Strange because with dd I barely had anything at all so I know that’s not necessarily a bad thing, also with mmc I had symptoms up the the scan at 12 weeks! I’m going to book a MW appointment today so that’ll be about 9 weeks and maybe see a Dr that same week to see about an early scan. I’m on holiday the 2 weeks before so can’t really do anything before then anyway, plus I think I’d rather wait till after 8 weeks as that’s when baby stopped growing.

@bananamonkey oh yes because the blood test dept is right near it. I have to go to hospital for bloods because I have tiny veins. So far I've managed to go to the blood department that's the other side of the hospital. They are really lovely at EPAU. I was very impressed with the level of emotional support. I can imagine the ultrasound dept is triggering. I found out at a private scan so luckily I can choose to avoid that clinic. I'm nervous about going to EPAU but know I'll be in very good hands so just want to get the scan over with. I figure one more week to go. I guess there's no way to avoid ultrasound dept because that's where they do all the 12 week checks. By then you'll have a bit more certainly about how things are. I'm sure EPAU will see you before then. I have a really good feeling about this pregnancy for you. xx

@Catconfusion I’ve everything crossed for your scan, they are so nice. Only 1 week sounds so close although I know it feels like forever. I had a scan there at 7 weeks with my DD due to bleeding and it was a really positive experience. Although the scan picture just looks like a blob 😂 I’ve just booked MW and managed to get a Drs appointment for the day after I’m back, feel like I’ve jinxed things now but they’re so busy that’s pretty much the earliest I can get anyway so has to be done.

@sadtoday21 I think it’s because I don’t have symptoms that I’m able to kind of forget about things for the time being. Taking my vitamins and just hoping for the best. You’re almost there!

@Catconfusion Oooh sickness has kicked in for you! That’s a good sign tho ♥️ Hopefully you’re feeling ok. What day is the scan next week?

@BabyPending so so sorry this is happening to you! Sending lots of love ♥️