Pregnancy after Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Starting a new thread for all of us that find ourselves pregnant again after one or more heartbreaking losses. I know it is really hard to join a pregnancy thread after miscarriage and we all fear the worst will happen again, but let's go on this journey together and hold hands along the way.

This is a safe place for all the ladies on the first pregnancy missed miscarriage thread and for any newcomers who want to join - you are all most welcome! All of the ladies on here have suffered one or more miscarriages and most of us have had particularly difficult losses, such as mmc and other complications. You don't need to be pregnant again to join - you are also most welcome if you have had a loss and are trying again. But we will be sharing scan photos and details of the new pregnancies, in case anyone might find that to be triggering.

Tagging @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @Kiki061190 @3204ECL @Babypending @Ginmonkey84 @MrsMGE and please add anyone else I may have left off. Without further ado, let's start the roll call.

About me: Age 31, trying for my first baby. Previous mmc at 12 weeks in February (hb stopped at 9+4), this turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy and I was monitored by CX hospital for three months. CP in March.

Now 9 weeks, EDD in March, if I make it that long. Oscillating between hope and extreme anxiety every day!

Your lines look good to me @BabyPending I have everything crossed for you. When do you get your results? Obviously I’m thinking exactly the same things, it’s so hard! If I get to the weekend then maybe I’ll tell DH. With my dd I only stopped testing after a scan at 7 weeks

@bananamonkey I am a serial tester too, don't worry! I go for my blood test tomorrow so will find out how long I need to wait! The first time I'm doing this so I have no idea what to expect in terms of results! I wish I'd waited before telling DH, he says I need to stop testing....like that's easy haha! I'm crossing everything for your sweetie 🤞🏻xx

Morning ladies, how are you? I cracked today and told DH, did a FRER and got a line darker than the control which I think is a good sign? Although told him not to get his hopes up.

If this one does stick I’m in a bit of quandary about what to do with appointments. My MW normally wants to book you in at 8 weeks but I would be on holiday for weeks 7 and 8. Seems silly to go the week before but equally seems a long time to wait. Obviously it’s all hypothetical at the moment but the MW appointments get booked up quickly.

Wow @bananamonkey this brought a smile to my face. I’m so happy for you. That’s a fantastic line. I’m not sure what to advise regarding midwife appointments. The one I spoke to was a bit negative as I’ve had losses and didn’t see the point in seeing me any earlier than necessary. I’d maybe call and book one for when you get back. Do you think you’ll go for an early scan? I hope you get better luck in the midwife department. Xx

Hi @bananamonkey, that looks like a really strong line on the FRER!! I think it's a great sign :). How did your DH react? Mine looked similar to yours, with a line darker than control, so I think your risk of another cp is probably low. As for booking appointments, I really wanted an early scan first, just to check everything was in the right place. But if it books up quickly, you might as well just get on the schedule and then they can ensure you get your scans on time. Do you want an early scans? Tentatively really happy for you! Xxx

On the subject of scans @bananamonkey you are probably better asking the gp for an early one if you want one. There seems to be this barrier through the midwifes. I’m not sure why because EPAU are more than happy to see people. We’re in the same area so a scan should be on offer if you’d like one. Xx

Thanks both. I think I’ll book the MW for when I get back (she’s only at the surgery on a Wednesday). I’m in 2 minds about early scans, if I’d have had one before 8 weeks last time it wouldn’t necessarily have helped unless there was an obvious problem so think I’d want to wait till then. Actually the holiday would work well in that respect since I wouldn’t be able to have it till around 9 weeks anyway. I was thinking I’d have to go via the gp, I’m wondering if I can just call and ask? Not sure how long it’d take to get a slot though.

@bananamonkey I would book a preemptive appointment for when you're back with the GP too. Then if there are any concerns you can discuss. If you do feel you want an early scan you can say you feel your mental health has been affected by previous loss and you just want to check all is well. Failing that you could call EPAU. They seem very happy to give reassurance scans. They even told me they would call the gp on my behalf if any problems to get a referral.

If you get any spotting I'd ask the GP for progesterone. Not all GPs will prescribe but the Tommys study shows good evidence it helps prevent loss if spotting and previous losses. I've not had spotting but my gp felt it was worth doing anyway in case hormones were responsible. I've got everything crossed for you! xx

@bananamonkey that line is so so strong! I never got a line that strong! Congrats!!!

Thanks @Kiki061190

The GP just called about my progesterone results from last week as it was high and indicative of pregnancy. She was really lovely and said I can speak to them after 6 weeks to see about a reassurance scan. The Lupus Anticoagulant results take longer to come back so still got to wait for those (for antiphospholipid syndrome). I’m hanging on to my other blood form (thyroid and other hormones), just in case.

@bananamonkey that’s amazing news! Super chuffed for you ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

That's great news @bananamonkey, congrats! I'm so glad you are getting the care you deserve.

So I had a 9+5 scan today. Broke down and called the EPAU and simply told them that I'm not in pain or anything and no bleeding, no real medical reason to be seen, just really worried because my last baby passed at the same time due to molar. The lady on the phone was really understanding and she said I could come in for a scan because they had a free slot that no one was using.

So in we went and we saw the baby dancing around again, really active! She (I obviously don't know the gender yet, but "she" feels right) was kicking and waving and did a little flip for us. The sonographer said she is measuring 9+4, so just about right. She's so much bigger than last week! Definitely not out of the woods yet by any means, but I'm hoping that now I can try to just stay calm and wait for the 12 week scan, which is only about 2 weeks away. The consultant said that if its another molar we will know by 12 weeks. I know I'm going to have to go private after that, probably at 14 or 16 weeks, but the consultant was really nice about it and talked to me for about 20 mins about my fears/anxieties/random questions. I just hope the next two weeks pass as quickly as possible and baby grows nice and strong. The waiting is really hard!

Aw that’s lovely @sadtoday21, hope the next 2 weeks fly by!

@sadtoday21 wonderful news I'm so happy for you 💕 hope you can enjoy your weekend and feel a bit of relief for a few days.

@bananamonkey you test looks brilliant and great news on your results xxx

Thanks @3204ECL @bananamonkey @Kiki061190 @Catconfusion!! I know I should have held out a bit longer, but I was really worried. Terrible weather today, is it already winter in August?? My midwife said I need to take extra vitamin D, beyond the prenatal, to get 1,000 units as I’ll (hopefully) be pregnant in winter. Anyone else receive the same guidance? I haven’t bought it yet as I’m not too keen on taking a lot of supplements right now, but starting to wonder if I should given the dreary weather.

How’s everyone else doing today? Seems like we are all in a waiting pattern, even though at different stages! I’m still having trouble believing that this could be real. How does one stay positive and yet realistic at the same time? I can’t quite find the right balance. Hope you all are well! Xxx

@sadtoday21 I haven’t even contacted a midwife and let them know I’m pregnant. I don’t know why I’m holding off! I think it ties into what you said about this not being real. I have no symptoms and nothing apart from a test that says positive to say I’m pregnant. I just think for me it’s still not settled in yet. Can’t quite accept it until I see a positive scan!

@Kiki061190 I totally understand that! I think even after you have a positive scan, you still don't fully believe that it is real and will happen. I think you said you told your mum and sister already, right?

@sadtoday21 I’ve told my mum and OH along with my manager. I’m an only child so thankfully a smaller family!

Hi I’m new to this thread and Mumsnet!
I’ve recently found out I’m pregnant I’m 6 weeks, although a midwife would probs date me more 7. But I can have longer cycles so going by the longest.

I’ve had 2 previous miscarriages 5 years ago and so feel very anxious. I put off trying again, until obviously recently.
My last miscarriage, I should have been around 9 weeks, but had a bleed and it turned out the baby had passed around 6 weeks. Unfortunately I then had quite a bad time after as the hospital lost notes etc, the experience was very much prolonged.

Anyway so I’m so anxious, trying to be calm about it and keeping it quiet, my partner being more positive and me trying to ignore it. Which is impossible. As I would love for this to all be okay so much.

I’ve already been experiencing nausea and very tender breasts. Which I hope are good signs. But I have had cramps, since before I found out. No spotting. I actually thought my period was due and just having a longer cycle, so was surprised by the test! Has anyone else experienced this?

I want to book a private early USS, but not sure when I am best to? I was thinking if I go by the dates I’m thinking, I will be at least 7 weeks next week so after then?

Thanks, glad there are places to share and ask x

Welcome @Paloo and congrats on your new pregnancy! I'm really sorry for your previous losses - all the ladies on here know all too well the anxiety you are describing about being pregnant again after a mc or mmc. You just simply cannot enjoy the process in the way you would like to. I also related a lot to what you said about your partner being positive and you trying not to think about it (impossible, right?!). My DH keeps telling me that I should be positive, but expect the worst and I jokingly roll my eyes at him and ask how he expects me to do both those things at once! It just impacts us so differently than them, particularly right from the beginning. It's also hard to see them getting excited when we are still so anxious about how it's all going to turn out.

Sorry I don't really have any good advice on how to deal with the anxiety (I'm only 9+6 and still very much dealing with it myself), but I would say the best thing you can do is take one day at a time (in the words of @Catconfusion "you are pregnant today") and distract yourself as much as possible with non-pregnancy related activities that you enjoy. I also find early scans helpful to a certain extent, just to know what is going on, but not everyone feels the same way. I would say that the earliest you can get a reliable scan would be around 7 weeks, when you should be able to see a hb if all is well. As for cramping, I'm afraid I didn't have any, but I have seen other ladies posting about it and it seems perfectly normal. Everything has to stretch a bit and this can sometimes cause cramping. I really hope that everything works out for you, you absolutely deserve this rainbow baby. We are all here to support you on this long, anxiety-ridden journey! Xxx

Oh I forgot you are an only child @Kiki061190! It must have been wonderful to tell your mum - I am sure she is cautiously very happy about it. I asked because I'm starting to think about when we might tell our families. We think maybe after the 12 week scan, if all is well, but not sure whether to wait for test results first or not (as this can take another two weeks or so). I was just reading about everything that can go wrong on NHS website and getting myself worked up about the genetic testing stuff. The molar thing has kind of scarred me and I'm really terrified of getting another letter like that.

Are you feeling ok otherwise? No symptoms starting up yet?

How are you doing @BabyPending?

@sadtoday21 I told my mum so much earlier this time as I thought the worst has already happened to me and I’d want her to know if anything goes wrong again. It’s so easy to get yourself worked up! No symptoms yet. I’m hoping for something soon because I just feel normal!

@Paloo Welcome! I had cramps last week mainly when AF should have been due. Nothing since but I’m only 5+1 so a long way to go. 7 weeks is a good time for a scan as you should be able to see a heartbeat!

Hello Ladies

Sorry I haven't been on for a few days, I've been super busy with work and family visiting. It's been great to see family (2 out of 3 visits down...actually halfway through second visit), but it's hard work whilst trying to keep a positive mind about all things pregnancy. Anyway I have been keeping up with the thread, just not had the chance to write a considered post.

It sounds like everyone is plodding along and all is going well for you all (obviously the anxiety remaining on the surface). It was so nice to see your scan @sadtoday21 - such a lovely little bean you're developing. So happy for you. And yes, the trick with the bobble/hair elastic, so pleased it is working for you. I found I didn't want to buy anything maternity until after the 12 week scan. If only I knew that trick before I would have used it for the Christmas bulge!!! How are you doing now @sadtoday21

I had the whooping cough jab on Tuesday and it did make my arm hurt for a couple of days. It still hurts now, but only where the needle was put in. When you guys get to the stage of needing your whooping cough jab, I would definitely recommend getting it on a Friday so that you can rest over the weekend.

I hope the sickness hasn't kicked in too much @Catconfusion - how are you doing? Your positivity and mental strength is amazing...I'm very envious of your ability to find the work arounds to help support yourself through what can be a very anxious time. Keep up the very good work.

How are you @Kiki061190 - I know what you mean about not contacting your MW. The only reason I see as a benefit to contact them early is that you might get a supporting MW, but also you are in the system and the 12 week scan get booked and you get allocated a place. Hope you are doing okay.

Great news on the progesterone levels @bananamonkey - wonderful news. What's the next step for you?

Sending lots of virtual hugs and hand holds 🤗 😘 xxx

Hi @Amanda81! Great to hear from you. I'm glad you had some nice family visits, we will be doing the same in another month and I expect it will both be good to catch up and a bit exhausting. I know what you mean about it being hard to work whilst keeping a positive mindset about the pregnancy, or at least trying not to obsess over it! I've been having a lot of trouble focusing on my next chapter, but I'm determined to use the next two weeks to be more productive than I have been all summer, just to be in a good place for September. Much easier said than done, I'm afraid! How are you doing otherwise? Sorry the jab hurt, but at least it is over and done with now. Has the anxiety receded more? Are you feeling more movements? When is your next scan? Really hope you are well and enjoying the process as much as possible Xxx.

Have you decided yet on the scan @Catconfusion? Hope you are still keeping the anxiety at bay!

Hope your symptoms start up soon @Kiki061190, but don't worry if they don't. I still don't really have strong symptoms and I guess some ladies do not get them. Although I do have a lot more bloating this time around! Do you have any of that yet?

Hope all is well @bananamonkey and your lines are staying nice and strong!

So I'm 10 weeks today, hard to believe. I think I was less anxious in the beginning and more and more anxious as I approach the 12 week scan. My dating scan will be at 11+6, so exactly two weeks from yesterday. I read it can take 2 weeks to get the results from the blood test, but only 3 days if it's bad news...so now I'm getting worked up about that, obviously, since it reminds me of the molar thing and how the hospital kept calling to tell me I needed to come back in. Wish I could just have the harmony test now, but really cannot afford it. I hope baby is ok in there! Other than the anxiety, feeling fine, just wish I could distract myself for the next two weeks more effectively.

Hey @Amanda81 great to hear from you. Great that you’ve been busy. No doubt that’s helped time go a bit quicker.

I’m good thanks. The sickness is quite manageable at the moment. It mainly comes in waves when I wake up. I’m off coffee already but it’s not really stopping me from doing anything. It really kicked in at 6 weeks last time. I’m hoping it doesn’t get any worse than it is now. You never know, different pregnancy and all that.

Thanks for the comment about my mindset. Believe me it’s still hard. I’m having moments of anxiety but just trying not to let it rule me life. It’s tough though. I’m 5 plus 4 so not too long until the scan at 7 weeks. I am scared of another mmc or there being no fetal pole but there’s nothing I can do. So for now I’m just relaxing. It helps not having to work. DH is covering the bills for now until we know more about the pregnancy.

How are you finding work? How will your maternity leave work being self employed? Xx