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Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

(994 Posts)
BertieBotts Sat 14-Apr-18 12:14:45

Welcome everyone smile

I am feeling much more positive today, how is everyone else?

TheGrumpySquirrel Sat 14-Apr-18 12:30:16

Hi Bertie thanks for the new thread and glad to hear you are feeling positive today.

It's lovely and sunny here and baby is kicking lots so despite a bit of a sore arm from my whooping cough vaccine yesterday I'm in a good place. Seeing midwife today for a routine check. Trying to walk everywhere as any other exercise has become a bit difficult, but I need it for my sanity.

LisaSimpsonsbff Sat 14-Apr-18 12:40:46

Thanks for the new thread, bertie! So glad you're feeling better. I do think it sounds like you've made absolutely the right decision for you and your DP.

Enjoying a beautiful sunny day today - I'm working (BIG deadline on Monday) but sat in the conservatory with the door open, which is nice - and it's funny how much better it makes you feel about life! I've spent the last few days fretting because they did the growth chart at my midwife appointment on Thurs, and I'm right at the bottom of normal - which I know is still normal, but worried me!

Can I ask someone who's had them about consultant appointments? I was booked high risk because I had been seen by recurrent miscarriage (apparently this is standard in my trust), and have to see the consultant in a couple of weeks. This should (hopefully) be a totally box-ticking exercise where they downgrade me to low-risk, since nothing has actually happened in this pregnancy, which would be good as then I get the full range of birthing options. But I was a bit confused because the midwife said that this appointment would be instead of, rather than as well as, my 28 week appointment with her - will they do all the normal stuff (blood pressure, bump measuring, urine test, etc.) at the consultant appointment, then? I have my midwife appointment booked in and not sure whether to cancel it!

zaalitje Sat 14-Apr-18 12:55:51

Thanks for the new thread bertie

lisa I'm consultant led and still have midwife appointments, at 28 weeks I had with both consultant and midwife, as I will do next week at 34+. At 28 weeks consultant (well HCA assisting) did urine and BP as well as general chat. Midwife did urine, BP, bloods, fungal height.

I've had a morning in bed so far, firstly cause I like a couple of hours doing this a couple times a week, baby still has zero regular pattern of movement, so I have no normal to judge from in terms of reduced movement.
Also I seem to have a bit of a continence issue, have been wearing pads all day for last few months as if I cough, sneeze, retch I lose a bit of pee, it's got darker and is staining the pad, I'm told waters can be dark straw coloured, so I've convinced myself I'm leaking waters, so lying down with a moon cup for a couple hours to see if liquids pool in the cup when I get back up, or if it's just dark wee!

keeponrunning85 Sat 14-Apr-18 15:23:36

Thanks for the new thread Bertie.

Not much to report here. Just plodding along hoping all is going alright in there and trying to keep my various worries at bay.

Lisa, totally with you on how much a bit of sunshine helps. And lighter evenings too!

UnicornsandRainbows1 Sat 14-Apr-18 15:54:07

Well I thought my sickness had stopped but this morning it decided to come back and I've been sick multiple times on the way to work (in public which is so classy) and then when I got to work. Luckily it's settled again. No idea why that happened.

The sun was out for a bit when I left work to go home though which was nice so it's made the day a bit better ^^ fuck morning sickness

ForeverHopeful21 Sat 14-Apr-18 16:26:18

Anyone else nearing the end?
I'm 39+4 and so grateful to have made it this far (it sometimes still shocks me that I'm pregnant and have carried my baby for so long!) but now I'm getting increasingly impatient and just want to meet my little one. The suspense is agonising and every day that passes feels like an eternity. I've no signs that labour is on the way and unfortunately babys head isn't engaged yet so think I've got a long wait ahead. HURRY UP BABY!

TheGrumpySquirrel Sat 14-Apr-18 17:10:22

I had my midwife appointment - measuring bang on for where I am (almost 22w) and very active baby! she listened to the heartbeat, he’s moving a lot more than I can feel, I think bc of anterior placenta, & urine check normal smile I have to see consultant at 36wks because I had a previous pre term delivery (35+5, spontaneous, no complications) - assume they just check that things aren’t happening yet? But still classed as low risk and under MW led care and booked for home birth grin as long as I make it to 37w!

zaalitje Sat 14-Apr-18 17:16:18

I know how you feel forever I'm at 34 weeks now and I want baby out. Apart from complete continuing exhaustion I'm ok, I just feel like bean would be safer out than in at this stage.
My anxieties have moved to still birth and birth accidents, for a developed country we still have a high rate sadly.

zaalitje Sat 14-Apr-18 17:17:00

Great news grumpy

UnicornsandRainbows1 Sat 14-Apr-18 17:47:52

Just booked our gender scan for a couple of weeks time. Here comes the terror again 😕

Flatwhite32 Sat 14-Apr-18 18:32:02

Aww that's exciting @UnicornsandRainbows1! I hear you with the nerves though. I had mine at 17+5, and the day before it we flew back from New York. All I could think about on the plane was the scan! The woman could see how nervous we were, so once she saw a heartbeat she told us straight away. Hopefully you'll get a kind, understanding sonographer.

@BertieBotts thank you for starting the new thread. Glad you're feeling more positive today.

@TheGrumpySquirrel I'm trying to walk as much as I can as well. Sometimes I can't get far as I get an awful stitch round the tight side of my bump, but if I take it a bit slower I don't get it as much. Glad you're feeling in a good place .

@zaalitje my worries are just the same as yours. I'm nearly 26 weeks, and still feel uneasy buying things in case something bad happens.

hotcookie Sat 14-Apr-18 18:44:11

I'm 40+ 3 now, was supposed to have a section at 40+1 due to being breech but she turned around 39 weeks, so now playing the waiting game. 41 weeks would be great (should be living in less of a building site by then!) but am very much looking forward to meeting her.

I bought a pram and a next to me crib around new year (I really didn't want to get anything at that time but the pram was over 20% off with a free car seat, and the cot I bought second hand) I bought the mattress and some sheets 5 weeks ago

peachesarenom Sat 14-Apr-18 19:10:17

Hi everyone, just got my BFP 3 months post mc

UnicornsandRainbows1 Sat 14-Apr-18 19:34:33

\o/ congratulations peachesarenom

emwithme Sat 14-Apr-18 19:48:55

Thanks for the new thread Bertie

6+2 today. Feel so nauseous but not being sick. Still really worried that it's all going wrong but trying not to focus on that. Just got to get through three days at work then I'm off until next month.

TheGrumpySquirrel Sat 14-Apr-18 19:55:43

Congratulations @peachesarenom !! Welcome 💗

@emwithme the early days are just about getting through them as best you can., try not to think too much, eat whatever makes you feel better (coke and crisps were good for me!) and cross off the days until the next week/scan x

peachesarenom Sat 14-Apr-18 20:06:38

Thank you UnicornsandRainbows1 and

Flatwhite32 Sat 14-Apr-18 20:19:54

Aww welcome @peachesarenom! X

peachesarenom Sat 14-Apr-18 20:22:09

Thanks Flatwhite32 you always help me get to the right place at the right time!

Slomi Sat 14-Apr-18 22:42:56

Had my first antenatal apt last week at 14 weeks and it was very rushed but all went well and baby still looking very active. Was feeling great and myself and dp took a little trip away. I've only gone and got bloody food poisoning sad. I'm absolutely kicking myself, I have been so careful about what I've been eating! Rang doc who said to keep fluids up and let it pass. It's easing off a lot now but so worried. Ugh, just feels like there is always something!!!

Anxiousfeelings Sun 15-Apr-18 02:36:28

Hi, I hope it is ok for me to join. I am 5 weeks pregnant following 2 consecutive missed miscarriages (1st last Sep at 8.5 weeks and 2nd in Feb at 6 weeks). I’m absolutely terrified that the same will happen again and today have been having sharp pains in my ovaries and a dull back pain. I really can’t tell if it is just stretching or a sign that it is all going wrong. I can’t even think about having a scan, it makes me so anxious given the last two experiences. How do you try and control this worry? I do have a 3.5 year old and that pregnancy was trouble free, and looking back I was so naive about what could go wrong! I wish though I could have that peace of mind again.....

aetw Sun 15-Apr-18 08:23:26

Hi all, IDea for a new thread Bertie! Thank you. Nearly 14 weeks now and I would say that my worries are no less than when I was 6 weeks. I have had pains down one side after my bump sort of popped out over night. Is this normal? Is it ligament pain? Arghhh!

NoCatsHere Sun 15-Apr-18 08:29:22

Hi all, thanks bertie for the new thread.
anxious I’m afraid I have no great advice bring in a similar position to you - mc at 7 weeks then mmc at 10. I’m just trying to get through day by day. I’m 7+6 so I’ve passed one date and will have a scan around the 9/10 week mark to check all is ok to feel like I’ve passed another loss date. I don’t think the anxiety will leave you much due to previous losses. I find some days easier than others to get through. Odd are in our favour though, but I know that’s easier said than done!

LisaSimpsonsbff Sun 15-Apr-18 08:29:54

Congratulations and welcome peachesarenom and anxiousfeelings! I don't think any of us here have a solution for making the anxiety go away altogether, anxious - unfortunately, it seems to be a pretty inevitable bit of pregnancy after loss. It does help to talk about it, though.

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