Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

Welcome everyone :)

I am feeling much more positive today, how is everyone else?

I'm really sorry you're feeling so worried, Kirin. If it helps at all, when I went for my 20 week scan they asked if I'd felt movement and I said no and she just looked at my notes and said 'oh, because you have an anterior placenta' and that was that - they weren't even a little concerned. I know it's so hard not to assume the worst, though - and this has been such a stressful pregnancy for you. I'm hoping the time before Monday passes as quickly as possible for you.

Thanks @LisaSimpsonsbff I can't seem to calm down. I haven't even thought about what might be seen on the scan, just want to know if there's a heartbeat at the moment.

Welcome to all the new ladies. Another one wishing you boring, uneventful pregnancies and finger crossing for anyone having early scans.

kirin, sorry to hear you're having an anxious day. I am totally with you on the struggling to buy maternity clothes. I have to look at things online about 5 times before I manage to order them and then have them a good 2-3 weeks before I manage to put them on. Today I have put on my second item of maternity clothing as my work trousers really were too tight! I came to a compromise of sorts and bought some cheap, long tops from H&M a size up to tide me over until I really have to embrace the maternity clothes. Some days the anxiety really can be overwhelming. I feel like most days I can keep it in check but every so often I become convinced the baby has died. I was lucky in that I started feeling movements relatively early but even that hasn't stopped it completely. I hope you manage to get through the next 6 days and all is well at your scan.

Thinking of you kiri and may the next few days zoom by for you

So i have my booking appt on friday. I will be nearly 10 weeks. Is now the time to discuss any testing? Ive hear about harmony tests and the like and am not sure what to do. I am nearly 40 so dont know if that is relevant.

I would definitely raise it snore - the midwife might not be able to answer every question (I think harmony tests are only available privately, but maybe that varies by area?), but she'll definitely be able to point you in the right direction.

@markygirl I phoned the EPU and they said to contact my gp but they have no appointments! I think I’ll phone my midwife.

@belkinsboo thank you thats reassured me so much! It was pink then went red and now it’s a horrible brown colour so I think an infection as it smells disgusting (sorry tmi!)

@snorebrown I’m ok this morning, it’s turnt Brown and clear sometimes just with a horrible smell! Thank you for asking :)

natasha I understand that you might not want to, but did you explain on the phone to the GP what the appointment was for? They shouldn't need to see you - the GP could just talk to you on the phone and then phone EPU - so they should be able to do it much more quickly.

Thanks all for sharing about your 6week (ish) scans. I’m not getting my hopes up too much as I know it’s still early for seeing anything. They want to scan me every 2 weeks after this one so at least they will be monitoring me and I can see the baby is doing ok. To be honest just seeing a heartbeat will make me relax so much more. This is my 5th pregnancy and my first was an absolute breeze with no issues, sickness, back pain, baby arrived 3 weeks early and natural delivery which was all fine. Hoping I was just unlucky with my 3 miscarriages and this one will be a sticky one!

@Snorebrown they will ask you whether you want the down syndrome screen which covers abnormalities in chromosomes after that if you get a high risk I think you can then opt to a harmony and test but I believe some woman tend to get a 4D scan done so they can see if there's anything you should be aware of with the baby

Usually they offer a blood screening which will come up with any markers for down's syndrome and some other issues (I'm not sure exactly what). This is only about 80% accurate (combined with the nuchal translucency scan at 12 weeks they tend to say 90% accurate) but if it shows a high risk or something shows up concerning on the ultrasound, they'll recommend amniocentesis. That's an invasive test and carries a 0.5-1% risk of miscarriage as they have to put a needle into the amniotic sac itself, but it is 100% - you get no doubt as to baby's chromosomal make up and they can pick up things which aren't clear on the test.

If you prefer you can opt for a NIPT test, Harmony is one of these, there are a few brands who do them. This usually isn't covered by the NHS so you have to pay. It's much more accurate - 95-99% depending on which test and which disorder - it tends to screen for Down's, Edward's and Patau, all of which are trisomy disorders which are more common the older you are. Again if the risk comes back high, you'll be offered amnio. You don't have to take the amnio even if they say your risk is high on either test. You should be referred to a genetic specialist if you have any adverse result on any test.

You can also just opt for the normal dating ultrasound + NT ultrasound (I thought these were done together in the UK, but I'm not sure any more - this is where they measure the fold of skin at the back of the baby's neck and if it's too thick that can be a marker for chromosomal issues) and then the standard 20 week anatomy scan which will usually pick up markers for things like heart defects, any physical brain defects or limb discrepancies. I haven't heard of 4D ultrasounds being used to pick up problems, I thought they tended to be used as more of a novelty still, but I might be wrong about that.

@lisa when I phoned they said they don’t offer phone calls for that day in the afternoon so I have to phone back tomorrow morning to request a telephone appointment.

@mummyjl that’s really good you’ll be monitored every 2 weeks. I don’t feel like I’m being monitored at all, I had a scan at 4wks 5 days and then 6wks 3 days and now they’re leaving me until 12 weeks when This is my 4th pregnancy and I’ve had 3 miscarriages before that. At my scan of 6wks 3 days I saw a heartbeat so fingers crossed you see one too!

X

I am a little concerned as only tiredness is my real symptom - my boobs aren’t tender. I think I’ll do another test tomorrow and see how many weeks I’m measuring...x

Hi all, can i get a kick up the backside? Last Thursday was my booking appointment but id had blood on wiping and stabbing pains so as soon as she started talking i burst into tears explaining how i assumed i was miscarrying. She sent me for scan to check for ectopic. I measured 6 plus 2 which is bang on my late ovulation dates with a heart beat. She gave me a phone number to call her back to do the booking in bits and blood tests buy i keep putting it off. I am fixated on being given those notes to then give them back 2 weeks later like last year. I have hypothyroidism so i do need to get things going and looked at but still feel tearful about it all.
I have my private scan this Saturday at 11 id booked 3 weeks ago and convinced the heart beat wont be there. I feel tired and boobs are a bit sensitive but that's it.

How far gone are you @Maggi85 ?? I noticed my symptoms disappeared from 9 weeks had my 12 week scan and all was fine I wouldn't worry about it!! Also the placenta takes over around this time too 10 weeks onwards

@BloominMoomin89 I know it's easy for me to say, please don't worry! If the midwife isn't worried or concerned then that shouldn't concern you easy said or done have you got a supportive OH or family that can be there for you? I think you need that! Speak with your midwife about the anxiety and they will be there for you too. Usually after 8 weeks if you see the heartbeat the risk of miscarriage lowers

Hi @BloominMoomin89 I totally understand where you are coming from and I'm not sure I can say anything to make it better.
I still waiting to get my booking in appt and am 9+ 5 now (as I waited for a long time before making it).. I think as long as you have it around 10 weeks then that's good time.
I also have minimal symptoms. (I think I'm a bit more tired, and boobs sore (sometimes))
Going thru this after loss is so much harder and stressful. Such a rollercoaster this whole process but there are so many positive stories on here and people who have been though it and are now close to having baby in arms. It can happen. Try not to get to down. It is easy to say I know.

Xx

Bloomin would you need to keep the notes? Perhaps you could ask your midwife to keep them for you until you get to a more secure point.

It is totally normal for symptoms to fluctuate, come and go, be different from other people - it's all about how the hormones are interacting with YOUR body which won't be the same from day to day or person to person. Don't ever take symptoms as a sign of how things are going, it just causes unnecessary stress.

bloomin i know how you feel, well we all do. Yes, what bertie said - could she hold onto your notes for you?

I went reluctantly like a fed up teenager to mine on tuesday muttering that it was all a waste of time because i'd have to shred the notes like i did last year when it all goes wrong a week later. Instead i came away feeling so positive, i was very lucky to get the loveliest midwife who i had for my successful pregnancy almost 4 years ago and she even remembered me. She showed me an email saying i could self refer to EPU for a scan as because i was over 38 i qualified for a reassurance scan after 2 concectutive mc. (previously I'd called eps and they hadn't mentioned age so they said i could have one until after 3 mc) So now i have one booked for friday at 9.50. I'm terrified of course underneath it all, but for now i am pregnant, stats are in my favour and I also believe i'd much rather know sooner rather than later if anything is wrong again.

I also have minimal symptoms that come and go. A definite growing tummy/gut which is getting harder to hide, but very low nausea that comes and goes, and no boob pain or growth. Nothing else.

Hi @Markygirl1995 I'm only 5+2 so I know its only very early but in previous Pregnancies sore boobs was the 1st thing I noticed - so just unusual how there's nothing at the moment - I have a early scan next week so will wait and see what that shows :-) x

Have my 9 week scan tonight, so scared as it was at my second scan that my mmc was discovered, petrified going to to be told the same again 😩

keeping good luck tonight. Is it at the EPU or a private one? I feel the same as you my mmc was also discovered at my 9 week scan. I have everything crossed for you it’ll be ok.

Thanks @NoCatsHere. im actually going private tonight to the consultant who prescribed me cyclogest as my thinking was if all is ok i want to ask her a few things. My 7 week scan was just at epu

Good luck @keepinghopeful

@Maggi85 I'm sure you'll be fine I find that they fluctuated in the early weeks which panicked me too but at least your getting a scan done!! Let us know how you get on