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First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part III)

(704 Posts)
sadtoday21 Mon 20-May-19 21:56:50

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed (again) because we reached the 1,000 post limit (twice!). I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not all quite there yet (BUT some of us are!! congrats!!!). I know we will all be pregnant someday soon and that this will end up being a lucky thread! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this. This thread and the ladies on it have been a source of inspiration for me, which is why I created this blog to help other women find information and support after miscarriage: mcandbeyond.weebly.com/

About me, for any newcomers: 31 years old, first pregnancy ended in an MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and had follow-up with CX hospital until mid-May. Second early MC in April (we weren't supposed to be getting pregnant because of the molar, but didn't know about it at the time). Now TTC again nearly four months after the first MMC and so so ready for a baby!

AnnaMC214 Tue 21-May-19 06:33:58

@sadtoday21 thanks for starting a new thread....again!

@Amanda81 I just wanted to wish you loads of luck for your scan today. Thinking of you. xx

@Rainbow8bubbles I hope your first day back at work is ok. xx

@sadtoday21 still no af for me. My temp went up a bit again for a few days and then I had another big drop yesterday. I had tons of af symptoms and was really hopeful it was finally going to happen but nothing 😭

LMLP91 Tue 21-May-19 08:18:07

@Amanda81 wishing you all the luck for your scan today ❤️

@sadtoday21 Thank you for continuing our mammoth thread yet again, I find it so amazing that we have all supported each other so intensely that we're reaching 1k comments in such a short space of time! I will definitely add to your website and contribute what I can to help others on their journeys.

How are you all today? Still in my TWW (sort of) patiently waiting and hoping.

Xxx

sadtoday21 Tue 21-May-19 09:21:08

@Amanda81 sending you good vibes and lots of luck today!!

@AnnaMC214 so good to hear from you! I was thinking of you and hoping you were doing ok. The up and down on your chart sounds like hormones spiking, but feel free to share the chart if you want other opinions! What cd are you on now? I am sure AF is just around the corner, but if this continues for another week you may want to just pop over to the GP and see if there is anything they can do to help - they can give you provera (sp?) to start AF, if needed. I was thinking of this myself at one point. Take good care of yourself! xxx

@LMLP91 what day are you now into the TWW - how may dpo? So exciting!! All the thanks should really go to all of you for keeping this going and supporting me and everyone else on here so much - thank you! I also can't believe we have over 2k posts in this group. Thanks also for offering to contribute to the group blog - feel free to write anything you like (you can private message me the content, if that's easier). Maybe a post on the TWW to help pass the time! As @Catconfusion said, we have so much group knowledge to share, and I just want to pay that forward.

@Catconfusion how are the OPKs going this morning? I am on cd11 and just started them today. I think the first cb digital are always blank, right? My understanding is the test has to get a base level on the first day, so it is blank no matter what.

In other news from me, I had a huge temp drop today - more than .3 celsius. This is usually when my fertile window starts - the first large temp drop tends to coincide with EWCM production for me. So, I broke down and broke out the OPKs. No smiley today, but it's still rather early. I think my mood is improved though since the drop, there really must be some hormonal component to my moods now since the mmc. I feel much more sensitive to small hormonal shifts than before - maybe this is also why you have been feeling down a bit lately *@AnnaMC214*. So, now I am EWCM spotting, hoping for that elusive smiley, and planning some bding in the next few days. Wish me luck!!

Catconfusion Tue 21-May-19 09:35:52

@sadtoday21 thanks for the new thread. What a journey! Thank you for starting this as we've formed a lovely little community in the worst circumstances. I think the first Opk is low, mine was. Xx

@Amanda81 big hugs and good luck. Thinking of you today! Xx

I got my first flashing smiley today and a slight increase in temperature. I had cake yesterday and broke the gluten and sugar free element of my diet so not sure if this is the cause or the oestrogen. I've looked at earlier charts and this cycle seems very stable so far in comparison so I'm hopeful for earlier O. My mood is much better too although I was knackered yesterday after getting up in the night to watch GOT. Not sure I caught up last night as DH was restless as he has a cough.

Oh I found this podcast and it really helped to hear other people's stories about miscarriage and that there is hope even if this does happen again.

https://podtail.com/en/podcast/m-s-the-word/

Xx

AnnaMC214 Tue 21-May-19 09:48:34

@sadtoday21 I really appreciate your support. I've been trying to have a pma for the last few days but yesterday was another big set back. Here's my chart just for interest. I've put in an O override to where it used to think it was. It weirdly seems like my body is attempting af and failing. Both the dip on the 13th (which would have been my normal lp) and yesterday came with lots of cramping etc then the cramping stops and I get a headache but no af. Maybe hormones are still too high? I've given myself until next Monday before I call the GP which will be 8 weeks.

Catconfusion Tue 21-May-19 10:13:54

I'm so sorry @AnnaMC214 how frustrating for you. I think wise to see the doctor if nothing happens. It could be the hormones settling. The drop in progesterone after O should bring on AF. Your temps show this has happened as you're back below the cover line. It's so confusing. I wish I had an answer for you but other than saying it's the hormones I'm not sure why this is happening. Many women have a wtf cycle after mmc so try and stay positive as much as possible but feel the frustration when it comes as totally understandable! Xx

sadtoday21 Tue 21-May-19 10:22:43

@AnnaMC214 of course, any time! That is definitely a bit odd looking for that many days dpo, but there really is no such thing as normal after mmc - the hormones definitely make the charts a bit crazy. Your cycle isn't overly long for the first one after d&c (mine was also 53 days and I've seen 60+ elsewhere). I think you are right to give yourself until 8 weeks before contacting the GP and most likely it will come just before then! BTW, have you tried taking an HPT just to check on the hormones? I'm sure it's all still negative, but might help just for peace of mind. If it's still a BFN, then it is definitely not the hormones that are stopping AF (you can have it even with some hcg in your system). Maybe it's just a bit delayed and needs some prompting - I did a lot of running, ate sufficient calories, drank grapefruit juice, and dtd to try to bring it my first cycle after mmc. Not sure whether it works but dtd does sometimes seem to do the trick for me. Hope to hear good news from you soon and sending hugs!!!

sadtoday21 Tue 21-May-19 10:27:57

@Catconfusion congrats on the flashy smiley!! That's so early for you, isn't it? That is great news - hoping for a regular cycle this time for the both of us!

AnnaMC214 Tue 21-May-19 10:32:15

@Catconfusion and @sadtoday21 my chart is definitely a head scratcher. I'm scared because the temps imply af has happened. I've read that with Ashermans the scar tissue can actually block things off entirely! I haven't done another hpt but perhaps I should. I've tried everything to try and kick it off. I'm at a complete loss ☹️

sadtoday21 Tue 21-May-19 10:43:35

@AnnaMC214 I think if it were me I would do some tests - an HPT first to check for retained tissue (if its a BFN, you almost certainly don't have any) and maybe even an OPK in case for some reason AF was just missing this month and now you are in the O window (that's what the temps look like tbh). I would also make an appt with the GP for next week because it sounds like you need some peace of mind at the very least and to be sure there are no issues. I don't think it is scar tissue or anything like that, but good to rule out everything. Above all, try not to google yourself into a dark hole! It's hard, I know, definitely been there. Thinking of you and here if you need to talk!

Catconfusion Tue 21-May-19 10:48:20

Thanks @sadtoday21 it does seem early but I think the hormones start early with me I just don't necessarily ovulate. The flashing smiley means it's detected the oestrogen before the LH surge. I think this stage can go on for a while with pcos before LH and O. Although I've had early ovulation before so it could just be my body gearing up early. I hope so. The temps look good so far. I hope you get yours tomorrow. I think a flashing smiley can last for about 4 days before peak. Xx

I'm so sorry @AnnaMC214 it's easy to think the worst in these situations so I understand. Mmc really does take a while to recover from for anyone. Even if AF had came on time your body would still be recovering. Ashermans seems very rare these days as the surgery is much more sophisticated. I can see why your mind has gone there though and I'm hoping the doctor can reassure you and do any tests if they are necessary! Xx

Applecidervinegars Tue 21-May-19 10:57:21

Hello all, hope you don't mind me jumping in on this thread. Seems very fitting for the situation I find myself in and comforting to be amongst others experiencing the same.

I am 33 and started trying for first baby in Jan 2019. Got pregnant in Feb then found out in April at 9 weeks that we had a missed miscarriage and baby had stopped developing at 5 or 6 weeks. Had natural miscarriage at home at 10 weeks. Got negative pregnancy test about 11 days later.

Now I am in that horrible inbetweeny bit where time feels like it is standing still and there is nothing I can do but wait and feel sad and frustrated. No ovulation so far since miscarriage. This weekend will be 4 weeks since miscarriage bleed so hoping for period soon and for body to reset itself.

Trying to take care of myself, have maintained no alcohol or caffeine as I did through the 9 weeks of pregnancy and just trying to eat well and exercise etc. But then my mind goes to very dark places where I worry it will never happen and there is something wrong with me and that is just the start of a very long and unhappy journey of loss and heart break.

Feel sad that my birthday is this weekend and our first wedding anniversary is in July and we have made no progress on this thing with both want so much.

Xxx

Catconfusion Tue 21-May-19 11:18:02

I'm so sorry @Applecidervinegars you find yourself here but the ladies in the thread have got me through those dark thoughts you talk about. I too went through this as a newly wed, we conceived on our honeymoon. It's so sad to start married life with such grief and loss. I do think it has the power to bring you closer together.

Chances are you're over the worst now and your body will kick back in. I had an ERPC surgery and was amazed at how quickly I seemingly recovered although we got pregnant straight away but had a chemical pregnancy. It will take time but your body will get there. Just let dark thoughts come but wash over you. It's all part of the process and it will get easier. You will figure out a way forward and we're here to support you! Xx

AnnaMC214 Tue 21-May-19 11:34:04

Thank you @Catconfusion and @sadtoday21 for your advice and for listening to me. I think I'm going to go ahead and make an appointment with my GP. I just have an overwhelming sense of helplessness. I need to feel like I'm taking some action.

@Applecidervinegars I'm sorry for what you've been going through. A lot of the feelings and emotions you have sound very familiar. As you can probably already tell, the ladies on this thread are amazing and supportive as well as being a fountain of knowledge. I haven't made it out the other side of all of this yet but I credit them with keeping me going. Things will get better. xx

Catconfusion Tue 21-May-19 11:43:35

@AnnaMC214 I think all things considered it's a good idea. The mental health element of this is important too. The body triggers the psychological symptoms so having answers are important for your recovery mentally and physically! Xx

I just called the doctors. The bad news is still no sign of DHs SA. It's now a full month since he had the test. The good news is my hormone tests came back as normal. I'm really pleased as it means I don't have full blown pcos. I do have a history of irregular cycles and cysts so a mild form of it but it shouldn't prevent us conceiving. Xx

AnnaMC214 Tue 21-May-19 14:21:20

@Catconfusion that's such great news about your hormone tests. You must be so relieved. Annoying about the sa still though. Have you spoken to the clinic who are doing the analysis? When we did that it turned out they had in fact already sent the results even though my GP surgery said they hadn't. After some back and forth the surgery found they did have them after all!

Catconfusion Tue 21-May-19 14:28:42

Thanks @AnnaMC214 I was a bit worried after ovulating on day 36 last time and my history with irregular cycles etc. It's likely egg quality and quantity are good too since FSH is raised if egg supply is dwindling and mine is normal.

The problem with the SA is that the hospital have a different computer system. DH has called the lab twice now and they've said it's been posted. We just heard back from the GP who now has it but no one available to talk about it until tomorrow! I'm sure it's normal but the suspense is killing me! Xx

Amanda81 Tue 21-May-19 15:43:32

Hello ladies! All good news at the scan. Heartbeat still beating and the little baby had grown within the limits that was anticipated within the two week window. So all viable. They have discharged me from the EPU and don't want to see me again unless there are any concerns. They measured the baby at 1.62cm, which makes me around 8+1. Not quite out of the woods just yet as our first pregnancy grew to 10+1, but will enjoy the moment. Sorry I haven't written sooner, didn't get a wink of sleep last night and when I got home I went straight to bed. Only just woke up 30 mins ago. I'm going to have a good catch up on what you guys have been chatting about for the last few days and write a separate post.

Thank you for all of your well wishes, it's truly lovely to have all the support from you guys. Hugs to all 😘 xx

Catconfusion Tue 21-May-19 15:52:23

That's fantastic news @Amanda81 I'm glad you could enjoy it too. It's a great sign EPU have discharged you. We're all here for you. I can imagine it'll be maybe difficult in a couple of weeks. I have such a good feeling about this baby though. I would be exactly the same with no sleep and falling into bed after it. You have to do what you have to do to cope with the suspense. Xx

sadtoday21 Tue 21-May-19 17:48:31

@Applecidervinegars I am so sorry you find yourself here and welcome to the group. The mmc on the first pregnancy and the waiting afterwards is so hard, isn't it? I just feel that all our future pregnancies are a bit tainted now and its hard to go forward with hope. 4 weeks isn't that long - it took me 53 days to get my first AF after the mmc (I had d&c). I hope it comes for you soon so you can move forward and on with ttc. Thinking of you! xxx.

@Catconfusion great news on the hormone test! I hope you get the results from the sample soon and, as you say, all is normal. It's amazing that you don't have pcos to the extent that you thought and that your eggs are high quality! Bring on the ttc this month! woo-hoo!

@Amanda81 big congrats on the scan, that must be a weight of your mind!! I'm so so happy and relieved for you. Will the next one be at 12 weeks then? Try to relax as much as possible until then and I have a great feeling about this baby!!

To everyone else on the thread, please don't give up hope on ttc. I know it's really hard to keep going and sometimes you feel there is no point at all, but I know that someday soon we will all have our rainbow babies. It's going to be ok. I know it.

Amanda81 Tue 21-May-19 19:47:06

Hi @AnnaMC214 - your chart really looks as if you are back in pre-O phase. Did you have any spotting at all when you had cramps etc? Very curious. I can only imagine how frustrating this is for you, and would say a visit to the GP will help with any worries. Hopefully they can help understand what's going on, but I suspect they will say wait it out. They may suggest some hormones tests to see if there is a little imbalance between progesterone and oestrogen. Your chart doesn't suggest this though (but I'm no expert). From my time on MN I have heard of some women taking 3 months to get their AF. I hope this isn't the case for you. I would agree with the others, it would be worth seeing what some OPKs are saying to see if Lh is lurking which would suggest the O is going to occur. Xx

Omg @Catconfusion - great news on the hormone tests! That's wonderful news. I hope the SA test reappears. However, have they indicated if DH will need to do another sample? Might be quicker??! Xx

Very sorry to hear about your recent loss @Applecidervinegars - the kind does wander in to dark places after such an horrendous life event and it does get better, and to be honest have never quite gone for me. However, you do find ways to manage the dark thoughts which allows the positive vibes to filter through. Happy birthday for the weekend, and hope that you find a way to enjoy your day xx

Thanks for starting a new thread @sadtoday21 - wow part 3! We are a chatty bunch. So looking forward to all these BFPs that are coming our way! 🙌🙌

@LMLP91 - what dpo are you? When is AF due? Xx

Catconfusion Tue 21-May-19 20:10:55

Thanks @sadtoday21 it's a good sign for egg numbers and as a result probably a good amount of viable ones. There's another test we could have privately to get a better idea about quality but it's expensive. My FSH is normal so I'm not menopausal. It's high in ladies when eggs get low to try and tease out the last ones. I'm so glad mine are coming out ok and I don't have the bad form of pcos where your hormones are messed up. This means the miscarriages are unlikely down to pcos which is good to know as it's been playing on my mind a bit. Xx

Thanks @Amanda81 I'm really pleased. The doctor is calling DH tomorrow as they have the results finally so we'll know more then. I doubt anything wrong tbh! Xx

LMLP91 Tue 21-May-19 20:49:42

@Amanda81 so so happy and relieved for you that all was well on the scan. I know it must be so hard, but please see this pregnancy as a whole new experience and fresh start for you and DH and for your body. We're all here for you to be your cheerleaders, throughout the whole journey ❤️

Thanks for asking after me, I'm currently 8 dpo and have been feeling extremely sick for the past few days, but also crampy as if AF is coming...so not getting my hopes up for anything. We'll see what happens.

Hope you're feeling more refreshed after your sleep? Take each day as it comes xxx

bananamonkey Wed 22-May-19 05:46:56

Ah I missed this thread till just now, thanks for starting @Sadtoday21!

I’m sorry you find yourself here @Applecidervinegars, we can all relate to what you’re going through so hope you can find some comfort and solidarity here flowers

Fantastic news @Amanda21,understand you are still cautiously happy but you must be relieved x

That’s great about your tests @Catconfusion and flashing smileys ahoy!

Sorry about your cycle @ AnnaMC214, I am only a newbie to charting so hopefully these more expert ladies have some words of wisdom.

Have my fingers crossed for you @LMLP91, sorry you’re feeling unwell x

As for me I finally got a static smiley today after 6 days of flashies, obviously it happens while I’m away till tomorrow night so no hope for me this month sad

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