First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part III)

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed (again) because we reached the 1,000 post limit (twice!). I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not all quite there yet (BUT some of us are!! congrats!!!). I know we will all be pregnant someday soon and that this will end up being a lucky thread! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this. This thread and the ladies on it have been a source of inspiration for me, which is why I created this blog to help other women find information and support after miscarriage: mcandbeyond.weebly.com/

About me, for any newcomers: 31 years old, first pregnancy ended in an MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and had follow-up with CX hospital until mid-May. Second early MC in April (we weren't supposed to be getting pregnant because of the molar, but didn't know about it at the time). Now TTC again nearly four months after the first MMC and so so ready for a baby!

Thanks @sadtoday21 It's completely understandable you're beginning to symptom spot, especially if you can't try next cycle. It's so hard to relax and just let it play out but there's nothing else you can do. As you say probably no answers in your chart. It's just hard dealing with the uncertainty of it all. I hope you find a way to relax until you can test.

It's weird but I get positives on the cheap opks when it's a failed O. I'm really not sure why when the digital showed just high not peak. I have a feeling I'll get a true peak on the digital ones when it happens. I just can't wait now. I've busied myself today until I can jump on DH later so we're covered if it does happen in the next couple of days. Xx

@AnnaMC214 I also wanted to fire a note off to you but didn't want to @ you on case you were taking time to step away. Have you considered some accupuncture ? I know it's not for everyone and many think it "woo woo" but I think it has a fairly good track record for helping to flush out the body and bring on O and AF. Truthfully I don't have enough info or understanding about it to give it the hard sell and I know it can be prohibitively expensive for many. I have a lot of friends in the IVF community or fertility problem community who swear by it helping for fertility. Just an idea.

@sadtoday21 it's sooooo hard not to symptom spot but your own advice to yourself is the best, just to try to stay busy and give yourself a bit of space from it as best you can, even if it's just for several hours in the day when your mind and or body can be engrossed in another task and it keeps you off Dr Google or just being to obesessive. I actually wrote down on a notebook my very very first pregnancy symptoms on last pregnancy (that ended in MC) starting from about 9 or 10 dpo but I am purposely not seeking it out to read again because I am trying best to remain chill. This group really helps as an outlet. Totally understand extra pressure re next month that is a real bugger

Hi ladies,

Hopefully you don’t mind if I join. I had a miscarriage last August and am still waiting very very patiently for some happy news. It’s nice to hear from people who are going through the same journey.

@sadtoday21 thanks for your message, oh I'm excited for you that you're in the 2ww!!! Really crossing my fingers for you!

Of course not @Ninegorgeousniecesandnephews and I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome to our little thread. How have you found trying after your mc? Xx

Just back from my scan ladies. Finally have the all clear! Womb is back to normal and they gave me away a pregnancy test to take in a weeks time and if that’s negative then I’m all good to start again ☺️

I’ve just read this thread carefully and you ladies are so supportive and have some very wise words.

I’ve just found nothing has been happening!!!! I don’t use ovulation kits/tests as I find this doesn’t help things.

I think my miscarriage was a chemical pregnancy. Very heavy bleeding but didn’t show on a test. Definite signs of pregnancy though.

This has been such a long, isolating, emotional time and your support for each other is great. Stay strong ladies x

Hi all, sorry for the radio silence...have had a busy few days. So AF decided to make an appearance - 2/3 days early too! So I've been feeling a bit down in the dumps since Monday, but trying not to let it take over. I only had a 3 week cycle this month, which isn't "normal" for me, but then again, I'm not entirely sure what is after a mmc?!

DP and I have booked a holiday for next week, going to stay with a very good friend in Spain and we can't wait for a change of scenery, some sun and plenty of cocktails! We both desperately need the time to recharge and reset.

Hopefully a break will be just the thing we need 🤞🏼

How's everyone getting on? @Catconfusion sorry to hear about the O - but don't give up hope.

Xxx

Hi @Applecidervinegars yes I've heard great things about acupuncture too and I believe it really does help some people. Unfortunately though I'm pretty convinced I have Asherman's syndrome as a result of my erpc. I would definitely consider acupuncture if it turned out I'm wrong.

That's great news @Kiki061190 How are you feeling about trying again? Xx

@Ninegorgeousniecesandnephews it sounds like you just knew it was a mc. I sometimes wonder about my last cycle due to some of the symptoms. I didn't get a positive test but felt really sick with strange cramps, strange dreams, tastes etc just like my last two pregnancies. Also horrendous bleed which is unlike me but I did have two back to back miscarriages before so could just be that. Xx

Opks are definitely challenging to understand sometimes. Have you tried temping? I use Ovusense and absolutely love it. It's so good to have a definite measure of if I've ovulated or not. Due to my pcos like cycles this can be tricky. Xx

@LMLP91 Thank you, I'm feeling much better today. I'm sorry you've been feeling down. The holiday sounds perfect. I think it can be normal to have random short cycles sometimes. I guess just keep an eye on it to make sure your luteal phase is long enough. I've heard acupuncture is great for lengthening cycles. Have a lovely break! Xx

@Catconfusion I’m feeling positive! I just want my period here so I can start the process of trying. Don’t think I’ve ever wanted a period so bad in my life! Nurse says I should have it within the next 3-4 weeks so I think once that comes the excitement will kick in if that makes sense. Glad everything is over and there was no complications.

@LMLP91 was this your first period after mmc? How lovely to go on holiday tho, some sun and relaxing will be so good.

@Ninegorgeousniecesandnephews so sorry about your loss. I totally understand how you must be feeling. It is quite isolating but I’ve found the ladies on here a blessing for being able to even chat about the most random things that other people who haven’t went through this may not understand.

@LMLP91 great to hear from you and really sorry to hear about AF. I know you have been trying for awhile now, so it must feel doubly hard. I am also feeling pretty down about this cycle and the next one. I guess we timed the bding alright...but not as much as I wanted and I feel sure its going to be a bfn again and I will be so disappointed. I don't know how I can stand the waiting for six more days. I feel mad at DH for not understanding the urgency of the situation and scheduling a trip right in my fertile window next month. Feels like everything is riding on this month and I don't feel overly hopeful. I really hope you enjoy your nice holiday in the sun and all of those cocktails!!!

@Kiki061190 that is great news, congrats!! Wishing you all the best for this cycle and a swift AF.

@Ninegorgeousnicesandnephews welcome and I'm so glad you found us. I'm sorry to hear you are in the same boat, but I hope we can help you get through it together. Xxx

@Kiki061190 unfortunately it's not my first AF since the mmc - I had the surgery back in December and AF returned in January and I've been having fairly-regular monthly periods since. Just feel like the waiting game isn't one I want to play anymore! But I'm trying hard not to let it become all-consuming and actually enjoy life again.

@sadtoday21 I do find myself feeling disappointed every month, however, I think the devastation of it happening again would be a much harder pill to swallow, so for now, I guess I'm just leaving it up to my body to sort itself out and decide when it's ready to go again. Hopefully that'll be soon! 🤞🏼 I feel this break has come at the best time for DP and I and a change of scenery is well needed!

@Catconfusion what should an average LP look like? I had three solid weeks between AF's - so I guess as long as that doesn't become a regular thing, it's okay?? It's all a bit confusing for me!

Xxx

@LMLP91 a normal luteal phase is 11-17 days so as long as the number of days between ovulation and your period falls within this time frame there's enough time for the lining to build up and the embryo to implant. It should generally be the same each cycle give or take a day.

I hope you have some luck soon! Xx

I'm so pleased @Kiki061190 everything passed without complication. I know it's frustrating to wait for AF but I think it's so good to have that rest. I really wish I'd given my body that now.

Hopefully AF will come soon. Your temps might suggest where you are with this cycle. Xx

Thank you @LMLP91 @sadtoday21 and @Kiki061190, I am glad I have advice from people in a similar situation. I have a holiday to Italy booked in the beginning of July so I think will enjoy it, and the wine, and let my body and mind recover a bit before ttc again.
We certainly put ourselves under a lot of pressure and the whole process can be all consuming

@Catconfusion how are you doing today? Any updates on the temping?

@bananamonkey you must be about 7 dpo today, right? Any symptom spotting going on yet?

@Amanda81 how are you feeling today? Hope you are doing well! Xxx

I am trying to focus on other things during the TWW, but it is really hard. Had a largish temp drop today at 5 dpo and I was really sad to see it. I feel this month is definitely going to be a bfn and I'm not really hopeful. I wish I got more bding in - so stupid, I was just so sure I was going to O later based on my previous cycles. FF just gave me a "good" rating for timing bding, but not high. I feel I am going to go insane in the next five days and really don't know what to do. I tell myself it's all out of my control anyway and I just have to move on with my life, but it's a lot easier said than done. I need to learn to be more patient somehow.

@sadtoday21 thanks for asking. It was a little rise today so I'm wondering if this is O. My lines on my chart digital are getting stronger each day but still flashing smiley. Completely negative on cheapy yesterday so I'm starting to think digital build up a much better picture.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Temps can fluctuate a lot during the two week wait. It could even be implantation. As you know, it only takes one dtd session in the week before O to conceive. I still think you have a good chance. All you can do is try and take your mind off it anyway you can. I really hope you get a bfp! Xx

P.s. my chart today...

@sadtoday21 thanks for asking, I am 7dpo, temp seems to be rising steadily, I guess that’s what I’ll see till AF? FF predicts it on Monday. As you can see I have loads of symptoms but given the timing I’m putting them down to PMS. My skin has gone crazy 😫 and I’ve had loads of back twinges.

Don’t beat yourself up, you did your best and looks like you couldn’t have done much more. Also whenever I’m feeling frustrated with the charts I remind myself that it’s just an algorithm, not an all seeing God who can predict the future x

Thanks @bananamonkey it's nice to have someone who can relate to the pain of the TWW! Since you are 7 dpo, you could be in the implantation window and starting to get those early signs. I feel like I have signs too, but after last month I don't trust myself anymore! Plus its so early for me, its probably just rising progesterone after O. It seems like I can't tell anything from temping really, it is just making more anxious. Just five more days until testing now...and if its a bfn, which it probably will be, I will give up until AF arrives.

@Catconfusion temps are looking good! Hoping O is just around the corner for you!

Hi all hope your Thursdays are going well

@AnnaMC214 I know others have said this aswell but just hoping you get that GP appointment as soon as the good GP you trust is back and available. It's massively tempting to self diagnose and head into a tunnel of doom with this stuff (i am the worst for this) but I really hope they can give fast and effective advice. I know it's really hard to be assertive in the GP office too but you must insist on follow-up and don't let them try to fob it off as 'wait and see' a bit longer.

I am oscillating between being chilled about this possible TWW (would be good to get first proper period, start trying again properly next month) and then in moments of the day starting to symptom spot a bit and over think it. I don't know when AF would be due on this messed up cycle post MC. Since ovulation was about 1 week late , i am thinking AF might be 1 week late as well. Which would mean it comes this weekend at 5 weeks. That's a pretty random guess though, obviously I have no idea.

I do have quite an achey lower back (it has come and gone this week but isn't usually a AF system of mine). I feel very hungry and tired even after a good night's sleep but that would be a sign of AF for me.

Hoping I can make it through the weekend without it being a big distraction and then perhaps consider testing at the start of next week of no period.

Out of interest, do we count the day after ovulation as 1dpo? So if I ovulated last Wednesday I would be 8dpo today (Thursday?)

Thanks @sadtoday21 it definitely is following previous patterns with the three drops and a slight rise. I've found before I get another smaller rise and then it's O. If that's the case I'd expect a peak tomorrow morning. I took it out of the reader this morning and it looked close.

The two week wait is incredibly stressful and it's so hard to tell what symptoms imply. I could have sworn I was pregnant last time with that unmistakable nausea. Done ladies feel nothing and are pregnant. I think you're right not to second guess anything and go with the flow until you can test. Not too long now! Xx

@Applecidervinegars thank you. That's definitely good advice. I'm going to try and be really assertive. I wish I wasn't as convinced as I am about what the problem is. Preparing for the worst seems to be something I do in an attempt to protect myself. I'll let you all know how it goes. xx

Hi ladies! How are we today?

I was in work today and felt an odd wet sensation and went to the loo and had a bunch of creamy CM! Was actually quite happy because it’s went from thick to that in a couple of days. Body is hopefully gearing up to O so fingers crossed for that in the next week and AF not long after ☺️