First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part III)

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed (again) because we reached the 1,000 post limit (twice!). I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not all quite there yet (BUT some of us are!! congrats!!!). I know we will all be pregnant someday soon and that this will end up being a lucky thread! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this. This thread and the ladies on it have been a source of inspiration for me, which is why I created this blog to help other women find information and support after miscarriage: mcandbeyond.weebly.com/

About me, for any newcomers: 31 years old, first pregnancy ended in an MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and had follow-up with CX hospital until mid-May. Second early MC in April (we weren't supposed to be getting pregnant because of the molar, but didn't know about it at the time). Now TTC again nearly four months after the first MMC and so so ready for a baby!

haha @bananamonkey I totally agree - sperm on demand is what is required! I've thought the same thing myself many times in the past week. How many dpo are you now?

@Amanda81 thanks for the advice! I think it is in line with my patterns generally and I now have zero EWCM, so it really just feels post-O. Temp rise + solid smiley + no EWCM I think are generally pretty good signs of it - but will definitely be watching tm eagerly for confirmation (I hope!)

Wow that's amazing news @Amanda81 I think it was for the best doing the scan and great you could see movement. Not long now and I'm sure you'll have your 12 week scan. Will you have any in between?

It's just so annoying the pressure ttc puts on things. As I have a long and irregular cycle it's difficult to just say let's not track and chill a bit because I have no idea when I'll ovulate within a three week period. It's a case of getting some clues dtd and seeing if O is confirmed. If not repeat. DH was fine throughout the three week marathon last cycle but this time he's finding it tough. I think it is the cold I've had. He keeps saying he wants to know where I am with thinks but maybe you're right and the knowledge makes it worse. I probably should try and get more into it as well. My sex drive really isn't what it was after the two losses. I'm sure DH picks up on this too.

We've managed to cover bases for this latest rise which @sadtoday21 looks very much like yours albeit not as high. A bit weird I didn't get a peak though if it is O. I just did another cheapy which now looks negative. Guess it's a case of seeing what Ovusense says tomorrow. I've definitely had lower tummy/back pain today so maybe this is it. I'm just staying positive and keeping busy. We went to Southwold today which was lovely.

I'd hold off @sadtoday21 if you're feeling rough and as @Amanda81 said see what the morning brings. That's my plan for tonight. The fertility nurse who works for Ovusense did a Facebook live session and she said not to test until 18 dpo. That seems a bit obsessive to me and if only I had that much will power. I'd try and put it out of your mind as much as possible. I could have sworn I'd caught last cycle with the nausea I had so the symptom spotting can drive you crazy. My plan is to try and get to 12 days in and maybe do an FRER then. We have a busy June so I'm going to throw myself into as many activities as possible. Xx

Thanks ladies! Had a temp dip today so unsure about potential ovulation. Just seems so quick since my bleeding only stopped Thursday altogether. Have a tiny bit of cramping too. I usually have a 28 day cycle without fail but I’m expecting that to be way out this month since almost 2 of that was bleeding which makes the positive O test confusing. I’ll keep testing and watching temperature for the next few weeks. Our bodies are facinating!

@Kiki061190 I would definitely not rule out O happening quickly. My bleeding stopped the day of ERPC but I ovulated 3 weeks later and then fell pregnant again (chemical pregnancy). It's amazing how quickly it can all work again.

So it's looking like a failed ovulation for me. It's happened about the same time as the first one last cycle. I'm gutted but I'm staying more positive. Last time I cried my eyes out and I'm refusing to do this. I do think having a horrendous cold hasn't helped.

I'd just hoped the supplements might have brought things forward. We were on day 36 last cycle so potentially we have another two and a half weeks of every day sex.

Also (sorry if this is tmi) I feel like I'm getting thrush. DH says he's feeling irritated too. I presume the low immune system from the cold might have led to this. I'm now worried to treat it in case I ovulate spontaneously and the cream dashes our chances. I've read the tablets are a no no but the cream can make it difficult for the sperm to reach the egg. Apparently the cream is fine in the two week wait but I'm not sure how long we have until that point.

Sorry for more venting! Hope you're al having better luck than me. Xx

@Kiki061190 hope you see a rise in the next three days! Some ladies O as early as two or three weeks after the mc (5 weeks for me, sadly!).

@Catconfusion I'm so sorry you have had a temp dip again. Is it really low or just a little? Feel free to share your chart if that will help! I really don't think you will have another wtf cycle with all those flashy smileys - it seems the supplements have also helped with your ewcm and bringing it forward. Are the smileys still flashing today? Sorry to hear about your cold too and the possible thrush - I hope you feel better soon! If it were me, I'd stay away from all drugs for this week and probably the cream too until you have confirmed O.

I am confirmed 3 dpo today, which is still really surprising for me! Going to be watching the temps anxiously this month.

Wow @sadtoday21 that's brilliant news. You can relax a bit now until the symptom spotting kicks in.

It looks like a failed on to be honest. It's another flashing smiley too. They essentially mean oestrogen is detected but not enough LH for a peak. I got a positive a couple of days ago on the cheapy which makes me think it's a failed one.

I'm not sure what to do about treating the thrush. DH is uncomfortable too. Just feels like we'll keep passing it between us until it's treated. The tablet seems the best bet as the cream might stop sperm getting to the egg. We may have another week until my body try's again so figure it might be a window of opportunity to get it treated.

Here's the chart anyway. Xx

Thanks @Catconfusion, I feel like its my first normal cycle since the mmc/mc. The symptom spotting has already started! I'm trying not to, but just wishing the days away until 10 dpo - I don't think I'll make it until 12 tbh. The waiting is so hard - both waiting for O and then the TWW. How are you guys doing @bananamonkey @3204ECL @LMLP91 - how many days dpo are you and have you done any testing yet?

@Catconfusion I'm not sure its failed O, I usually have two large temp spikes before O, rather than just one. So its possible that you are just around the corner from another spike! I count seven flashy smileys, so I am thinking a solid one is near for you. Fingers crossed for another temp rise tomorrow! Hope you and your DH are doing ok and taking it easy this month without too much stress xxx.

Ha ha, I can imagine @sadtoday21 I'd probably be the same. Great you're back on track though.

I think it's failed. I did another cheapy Opk yesterday and it's now negative. I have 8 flashing smileys including today. It seems exactly the same as the last cycle as my failed one was on the same day near enough. The fact I've had a rise then two dips seems to confirm it as failed. Normally I get a rise, maybe another smaller rise or small dip then another big rise. It's ok though. I guess my body needs to reboot and try again. All the dtd stress over the weekend was for nothing.

I had a little cry over it but nothing like last cycle. I'm going to stop looking at the temps. The new Ovusense app has a feature where you don't have to see them each day.

I think we'll just dtd every other day for the next week and not particularly keep track of anything. I'm not sure the digital opks work for me and would just get really expensive to carry on, especially if it's cd 36 every cycle. I just wish my body would behave more normally. Xx

That sounds v frustrating @Catconfusion, I have no clue about the complexities of the temps and “failed” Os but I can understand the disappointment/frustration, and thrush is the last thing you need! Hope you can take it easy this week.

That’s great that you had it d15 @sadtoday21! Mine was d23, think my cycles are about a week longer since pre-mc so about 5 dpo now, I’m not holding out any hope this month though. Have had O type pains the last couple of days which is really weird but who knows, could be anything.

@Catconfusion I’m so sorry your having a tough time with your cycle!

@sadtoday21 oooh exciting that you’re now in the 2ww. Crossing everything for you 💗

I doubt I had O on cycle day 18. No EWCM so can’t belive it was that early after mmc. My temp app is waiting to see if a temp spike happens to confirm. Until then I’m going to keep testing for LH surge for the next couple of weeks.

My first day back at work today and it’s been so good! Nice to talk to people again and makes the day go quicker.

Hi all, I am new to this thread!

I'm so sorry for your loss all of you 😔

I've waited to join as I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks, and have been waiting for natural management since which hasn't happened. So I just went through with my D&C today after 3 weeks of waiting, so it finally feels like a new beginning! 😄

How long did it take for your bodies to go back to normal so you could try again? I've been advised to wait 1 period before I do which I will.

Hi @SunStruck I'm so sorry you find yourself here and for your loss. My mmc surgery was in February. I still feel a little bit like I'm recovering. Unfortunately we were told we could try straight away and I caught again then had a chemical pregnancy. Several other ladies on this thread had the same thing happen so I think you're really wise to wait until a period. It really set me back having two back to back loses.

My last cycle was very long - ovulation on day 36. This cycle so far has felt disrupted. I'm on day 19 and my body tried to ovulate but it didn't work so hoping I gear up again in the next week or so.

Everyone is different and it's amazing how quickly the body can recovery so try and stay positive. I've had a history of long irregular cycles so that might be why I've taken longer to snap back to normal.

You could start temping to see what your body is doing so you're ready to hit the ground running next cycle. You can count today as day one. Or just wait it out and see when AF comes to start tracking after.

The most important thing is to let your body recover and try not to blame yourself. You did nothing wrong and it's really bad luck.

The support on this thread has been amazing. I'm sure you'll find it helpful. Good luck with your recovery! Xx

@Catconfusion oh so sorry to hear about the chemical too 😔 I'm sure it will go back to normal soon!
Did you start tempting after the miscarriage or wait one cycle? I'm just thinking hormones probably all over the place so maybe I'll wait until period, then use bbt as well as OPK.

Yes I've found MN ladies so supportive and informative, this was my first pregnancy and first miscarriage so! I thought I was almost out of the woods at 9 weeks when we found out so it's been a bit confusing, but we are all ready to try again when the body is ready 😄

Hoping for rainbow babies for all of us soon xxx

Thanks @SunStruck it was a very intense few months. I'm sure after you've had a period your body will be much more recovered.

I use Ovusense so as soon as I got an negative pregnancy test (2 and a half weeks after surgery) I started using it. I ovulated a week later. Tbh this was a shock and I was feeling pretty good at this point so we tried. As soon as I ovulated I got a lot of cramping and pain. The doctor later said the lining building up can cause discomfort after the surgery. After a week of this I felt nauseous and like my pregnancy symptoms were back. Sure enough a positive test at 9 dpo. A couple of days later it got darker but the cramps were worse so it didn't feel right. About a week later I was doubled over in pain so I did another test and it was very faint so I knew it was a chemical and I'd start bleeding soon and I did. You might find you're more aware of your ovulation and lining building up when it comes. The first period/chemical pregnancy loss was very heavy and painful but I managed it fine with pain killers.

Mmc is awful because there's just no sign anything is wrong. I was 10 weeks when I found out at a scan because I'd had a bit of spotting unrelated to the loss. We'd even told a few people. It's a very unlikely thing to happen as most mcs happen earlier. It also makes future pregnancies difficult because you now know even when you feel pregnant and get a few weeks in it can be an early miscarriage. Tbh a lot of the recovery is the emotional side of something so confusing happening.

I hope we all get our rainbow babies soon too! Xx

Hi all, just checking in
@amanda81 lovely news re scan. Sounds amazingly hopeful and positive
@sadtoday21 thanks for sharing great article. Spot on. I felt like sending it to a dear friend who hasn't started trying yet so thinks I am quite mad ! Fingers crossed your TWW passes quickly and with distractions
@catconfusion sorry to hear cycle is a head scratcher and being rather unpredictable. Fingers crossed this levels out really soon
@bananamonkey I also ovulated on day 23 in cycle post mc. When previously it had been around 15.
@sunstruck sorry you find yourself here. Great ladies with great advice though. I also had mmc discovered at 9 weeks. Mc at 10 weeks. The waiting is awful but trust your body and alll will settle down soon. I had some accupuncture right after mc (2 sessions over 2 weeks) and I think it might have helped me get the negative preg test more quickly (11 days post mc) thats just a feeling though I don't have evidence to back it up. She is a fertility speciliast in accupuncture

So we decided we would wait one cycle before trying again but when my ovulation didn't seem to be making an appearance we had an unprotected session and low and behold next morning was static smiley (I am just using clear blue ovulation tests, haven't tried temping yet) so who knows

I am telling myself that if AF comes I will be happy to have this cycle to reset everything and on the off chance it catches then well...I will try and be hopeful

Xx

Hi, I recently had a missed miscarriage - it was discovered at 12 week scan but stopped growing at 7+5. I had d and c last week. How long did people wait before ttc and were you successful? I'm feeling deflated after this and another miscarriage last year.

Thanks @Applecidervinegars I've got my fingers crossed for you.

@family2 I'm sorry for your loss. I was told I could try straight after my d&c. I did as soon as I got a negative pregnancy test. We conceived again but it was a chemical pregnancy. A doctor later told me it's more likely to be another loss if trying straight away. My advice would be to wait for a period before trying. I'd definitely underestimated how much time my body needed to heal. Also the emotional trauma really takes it's toll. It's so easy to start to feel better but then start to struggle again. You will feel better though with time and you have a really good chance of conceiving a healthy baby on your next cycle. Good luck! Xx

@Catconfusion thank you for your reply. I'm sorry to hear about your losses and really appreciated the advice x
What is a chemical pregnancy?

No problem @family2 I'm glad it helped.

A chemical pregnancy is where the egg is fertilised to create an embryo but it doesn't implant properly. It's really common but a bit more likely straight after d&c because the lining is often too thin. It's essentially a very early miscarriage. It plays out with a positive pregnancy test but then bleeding starts soon after.

Mine ended a week after a positive test. I had a lot of painful cramps during this time so I had a feeling it wasn't right. It really messed my hormones up in the following cycle and I had a very late ovulation so it set me back.

I wish the doctor at the hospital had told me to wait. Another doctor later was surprised I wasn't told to wait for one period. Some ladies are lucky and conceive straight away with a healthy pregnancy but it's so difficult to know what will happen and two back to back losses is best avoided! Xx

@Catconfusion thank you - that really helps x

Hi ladies!

@Applecidervinegars I think you have a good outlook on the AF situation. If it’s meant to catch then it will and if not then next month is another opportunity! 💗

@Catconfusion how are you getting on with your cycle? Any update on O? I’m definitely convinced my Opk was a false positive. I think my body is gearing up for it in the next week or so when I see my temp chart!

@family2 I also had a mmc and had medical management for it 20 days ago now. I’m due in for a final check up today for the all clear. My midwifes all told me to try again when ever but everyone gets different information. @Catconfusion is defo right about making sure you are healed emotionally. Speak with your doctor and see if they recommend waiting a cycle. So sorry for your loss. Was it your first pregnancy? Mines was and I feel it’s going to make me nervous for next time!

Good morning @Kiki061190 unfortunately it was another drop so definitely failed. I'll carry on with the digital opks as interestingly they didn't give me a peak for the failed one but I got peak on a cheapy. Digital therefore might be more reliable since I'm prone to failed ovulations.

You could have had a false positive. It's difficult to say but as you say your temp chart should show what's going on.

How's the symptom spotting @sadtoday21 and how are you feeling @bananamonkey

@AnnaMC214 I know you're taking time out but please know we're thinking of you and hoping you're ok.

@3204ECL and @LMLP91 how are you?

How's work @Rainbow8bubbles?

I hope you're ok too @FluffyBumpkin and @Kelpies

So I'm feeling a bit better today after having a bit of a melt down yesterday. I've decided to keep going with the temping and digital opks. I need to learn how to control negative feelings when I get a failed ovulation. My body has done this before and my temps are nice and stable now so the real one is probably imminent. I just think any sense of the body failing after mmc is very triggering. Xx

@Catconfusion I really miss you guys but taking some time out has been helpful I think. Over 8 weeks since my surgery and still no af. I'm just impatiently waiting for my GP appointment. Temps are a bit all over the place and I'm waiting to see if it shows another ovulation.

I haven't caught up on the thread properly but I'm sorry to hear you're having O woes again. Have faith that it will happen and I expect it will take fewer attempts this cycle than the last. Your body has proved that it will get there eventually. You've totally got this xx

Sending you all lots of love and hugs. Don't hesitate to tag me in any big announcements! 😉 xx

I'm glad it's helping to take a step back. Thanks @AnnaMC214 I guess I know it'll be ok and need to be patient. I've only ever had two 28 day cycles in my life so ovulation has mostly been later.

Our bodies are amazing and have immense healing powers. I hope your appointment comes around soon and you get some answers. Hopefully the erratic temps and no AF is just part of the hormones settling. Xx

@AnnaMC214 so good to hear from you and sorry there hasn't been any movement on the AF front! I was just thinking of you this morning and wondering how you were doing lately, but wanted to respect your decision to take a break and didn't want to tag you in case you found the thread to be triggering. I am really hoping for you that AF comes sneakily before you even have to go to that Dr. appointment and that you will be back to tell us all about it! Cycles are way messed up after mmc - mine has only just gotten back on track now on month 4. Sending you big hugs and hoping your wait it almost over! Xxx

@Catconfusion thanks for asking after me and sorry to hear that O hasn't happened yet. I know it will soon. You have a great attitude - you have been here before and you always get there in the end! Yes, it is very triggering to feel your body has failed again after the mmc, but you know that it hasn't and that it is strong and resilient. It will turn out all right! The good news is those opks seems to be working - I can also only use the digital ones, the cheapies don't pick up anything for me. I don't know why.

@Applecidervinegars it looks like you are in the TWW as well! Congrats! I really hope you don't have to wait another cycle, but I think you have a great attitude either way Xxx.

@Sunstruck and @family2 I'm really sorry you find yourself here, but welcome to the group. The same thing happened to me - mmc at 12 week scan, d&c, then chemical pregnancy the next cycle after. It really messed up my cycles, so I would wait for one AF if you can. But I understand that it is hard to wait. I wish someone told me after the mmc how long the recovery is - I had to wait nearly two months for my first AF, then I got a BFP, then I lost it five days later. It was really hard and stressful. I wish someone had told me to just focus on myself and healing - both emotionally and physically - rather than trying to replace my loss with another baby. Go to the spa, get a massage, do something to make yourself feel nice. Try to remember to be a person again, the person you were before all this started - this will help you heal and feel whole. Thinking of you both Xxx.

As for me, I am now on 4 dpo and the temps are nice and high. I know it's too early really for symptom spotting, but here goes anyway. I have a cold, constipation (tmi), a bit of cramping, increased appetite, extreme fatigue, and tingling boobs. I know this can all be due to illness and/or rising progesterone and not necessarily a new pregnancy, but obviously I am obsessing nonetheless. I think I am obsessing to the point of it being an issue actually. I keep telling myself just to step away from the chart, give it a few more days, there are no answers there anyway, but it's tough. I feel like I've waited so long for this and can't bear the thought of waiting even longer. Plus DH told me he has a work trip next month when it will be my fertile window - he will be gone for all of it! - so I'll be even more sad if we don't catch this month, as we will be totally out next month. I really would like to be pregnant again before my due date in August. Ok, enough from me. I am just a bit anxious these days.

Sending love to you all!