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TTC 12 months buddies please

(82 Posts)
Whilstwewait Mon 29-Jun-20 16:50:48


We have just hit the 12 month mark of TTC and looks like AF is on the way sad I am on another thread that's really supportive but I do find it disheartening when people get positives on the first couple of cycles of trying. So thought I'd start a thread for anyone around about the year mark. It'll be good to share things and get advice from people who are at a similar stage to me. Im 34 and my husbands 36. We are TTC number 1 x

OP’s posts: |
Nuttypea Mon 29-Jun-20 16:56:47

Hi OP!

We hit the 12mnth mark in May, and it felt like such a negative milestone. Have you managed to catch at all before (sorry if too personal).

Im due on in 3 days, ashamed to say I've done the usual symptom spotting bollocks again! 🤦‍♀️

Both 30 and also ttc number 1!


Whilstwewait Mon 29-Jun-20 17:11:53

@nuttypea aw sorry to hear your in the same situation as me. No we haven't caught before. I thought we may have in January as I had what I thought was implantation bleed at 5DPO but didn't come to anything. Have you?

Have you had any tests done? I've had bloods and my husband sperm analysis and all came back fine. I'm only 9DPO and started spotting again so pretty sure im out it feels like such a wait to FW. Just feel it'll never happen now x

OP’s posts: |
Nuttypea Mon 29-Jun-20 18:35:49

Oh bless you, sorry to hear about the false hope in January. I never thought trying for a baby would be this hard. And without sounding like a complete cow, it's got to the point where (although I am happy for them) I hate seeing all the pregnancy announcements and gender reveals etc that seems to be happening everywhere else except here!

I had a MC in February at 7 weeks. It was awful, and I know it must be a case of "at least you know you can get pregnant" which is in all honesty how I felt when people would say the same. But it has not made it any easier, if anything I'm now even more insane when analysing my 2ww symptoms.

Good news your test results came back OK though! Very frustrating, but fingers crossed it happens soon for you guys.

When are you due AF?


Whilstwewait Mon 29-Jun-20 20:03:26

@Nuttypea sorry to hear about your MC. I can't even imagine how hard that must have been. This TTc is so stressful the thought of starting over must be awful. I really hope it doesn't take you much longer.

I guess during the 2WW you are comparing symptoms to your positive month? I do that with my chemical month. I think If I've not had a bleed by day 6 I must be out. Af due Thursday but i've started with brown CM /spotting today which sometimes i get at this stage so i pretty much know im out.

I get what you mean with all the annoucements there seems to be so many. I just want to feel pure happiness for people again like I used to rather than a hint of jealousy.

We are ditching everything next cycle but are due to be away with friends during FW so may be difficult. Xx

OP’s posts: |
Fran2020 Tue 30-Jun-20 07:20:38


Like you whilstwewait, I'm also on the other thread which is supposrtive but lots of BFPs after one month etc.

I'm 33 and my partner is 26 and we are TTC our first. I had so many promising symptoms in my last cycle (month 12) that I thought I must've been pregnant. But then AF came, it's been a bit different though so maybe I had a chemical. I had spotting then it was really heavy for a couple days with lots of larger clots than usual. Now it's really light.

I've had blood tests which came back fine and my partner is booked in for the semen analysis.

I know exactly what you mean about the pregnancy announcements. I really want to be genuinely happy for people especially my friends but I am jealous and think why not me.

I am now CD4 and I have started the week feeling more positive. I've been doing fertility yoga for the last few weeks and I am booked in for fertility acupuncture next week. My aim is to stay as relaxed as possible this cycle and put less pressure on my and my partner (while making sure we have sex around ovulation). Xx

Fran2020 Tue 30-Jun-20 07:33:58

@Nuttypea Sorry to hear about your MC too 😔

Nuttypea Tue 30-Jun-20 10:58:06

Well I had brown spotting last night, and a previous faint bfp from the afternoon. Convinced myself it was implantation and tried to be positive. Woke up to full AF this morning.

Trying to lug through this 13hr shift, but all I want to do is cry.

I really have my fingers crossed that it's a different story for you 🤞🏻.

I'm going to ditch the Opks, apps and fertility Lube this next cycle. I have nothing left to lose and they've done bugger all.

Glass of wine and a pity party for me tonight!


Nuttypea Tue 30-Jun-20 10:59:40

Did you ladies go private or through doctor/nhs for your partner to have semen test? Xx

Whilstwewait Tue 30-Jun-20 11:58:43

@fran2020 welcome grin nice to see you here. Although I wish you had got your BFP. Sounds like something definitely did happen. Loving your positivity. Im hoping to feel like that soon. I just keep wishing i was a little younger so I wouldn't feel my biological clock ticking

@nuttypea So sorry to hear AF is here. Im with you on trying nothing this month. Ive tried so many different vitamins etc i swear I rattle when i walk. Ive tried everything going fertility lube, smoothies , yoga, massage and still nothing. Only thing left is acupuncture. I hate this part of the cycle but just remember you will feel better in a few days. We got tests on nhs. Just get your OH to ring up and say its been a year. Xx

OP’s posts: |
beachbum85 Tue 30-Jun-20 12:24:45

Hi ladies. I'm sorry it's been so hard for all of you, and I can definitely understand feeling disheartened and the frustration at seeing everyone else pregnant!

@Nuttypea so sorry abut your MC but especially that AF is here. Take care of yourself and enjoy that wine!

Similar to all of you, we've been TTC for 11 months now. I'm 34, DP is 39, and we've never had a BFP, so age is really starting to get to us. This month I ditched everything but the vitamins as I recently found out that I have a potential thyroid issue, so I think that needs to be sorted first up. Although I know we'll be hitting that 12 month milestone, I must say I feel a lot better mentally and this month hasn't been as hard as the last few. We booked privately for a scan per me and SA for him and tomorrow we'll have a fertility consultation to discuss those and the thyroid problem... pretty nervous!

Motherofkittens28 Tue 30-Jun-20 12:37:03

hi all
So sad to hear you are all struggling. We've only technically been trying to conceive for 8 cycles but started 12 months ago (my fiance had a wobble so we stopped for 4 months while he sorted himself out). Its driving me crazy every month hoping and then being disappointed. I'm 38 and my fiance is 40 so I'm so very conscious that time isn't on our side, Dr's just aren't interested at the moment though. Its so hard so totally feel your pain. Can i join even though its not technically been 12 months?

Chel93 Tue 30-Jun-20 14:08:35

Hi is it OK if I join? I'm 26 we have reached the 18 month mark of ttc this month and still no luck, 3 years ago I had a miscarriage and 3 years ago in September I had a medical termination as it was not developing I got pelvic inflammation disease after the medical termination. I went to the gp in December and got referred to the infertility doctor who said we had secondary infertility as we already have a son aged 5. I had my bloods done but we went into lock down so did not get my may appointment. This month we have tried the clear blue advanced fertility monitor i ovulated day 15 so praying for a miracle to happen but ive ran out of hope now

Whilstwewait Tue 30-Jun-20 16:55:07

@beachbum85 welcome. Sorry you have found yourself in this group as well. Im glad you are feeling more positive this month. Ive definitely had my ups and downs throughout and last month felt I had hit rock bottom. Sorry to hear about your thyroid. Now you know im sure they can get it sorted for you. Please let us know how your appointment goes. We were looking to go private in sept but i may book an initial consultation as i start spotting 9 DPO so hoping there is something they can do to help me in the meantime. I panic that private means IVF and im not ready for that. I get it with the age thing. Id happily wait longer if I was younger

@Motherofkittens28 welcome. Of course you can join. It must have been difficult to put things on hold for 4 months. Have you approached your GP? I thought it was 6 months for over 35 that they should be initiating tests. Id definitely request bloods done and get your OH to request a semen analysis even if its just for peace of mind. Do you have regular cycles?

@Chel93 sorry that you also find yourself here. You've been through so much already. It must have been so difficult. You sound really strong. Im sure you'll have your rainbow baby. I get the frustration of lockdown id be due my appointment for scan and tubes tested now and instead its looking like october or november. Feel like my life is just on hold. When is AF due? Xx

OP’s posts: |
Motherofkittens28 Tue 30-Jun-20 17:07:12

@Whilstwewait I have approached the GP and they said to wait until 12 months, I raised the guidance that over 35 it should only be 6 months and the response was basically Covid has changed all that. We did a private semen analysis and all was fine and I'm just waiting for a private day 21 progesterone test result. I've got endometriosis and a really low AMH but the private consultant I spoke to didn't seem too worried about that. I have regular cycles but recently I'm spotting occasionally days before AF. This month I was so sure when I spotted on day 21 but I did an early test yesterday and it was negative, AF due on Friday and I'm spotting a bit so I expect im out. Sadly where I live they only offer IVF if you're under 35 so I doubt I'll get much help from the NHS sad

Motherofkittens28 Tue 30-Jun-20 17:13:13

oh and this would be my first. @Whilstwewait I totally get how disheartening it is to see others getting pregnant with no issue. Two of my friends gave birth 4 weeks ago, one of whom started trying the same time we did. The 4 months not trying was awful, I was so desperate for a baby but didn't feel I could push him!

Whilstwewait Tue 30-Jun-20 18:02:16

@Motherofkittens28 that's so frustrating. Covid seems to be an excuse for everything. It shouldnt stop some blood tests. We are going to go private even though we would qualify for NHS i just cant wait another year possibly longer feeling like this. I cant believe the cut off is 35 that must be so annoying. The pregnancy announcements are hard. Im not sure how many more I can take. Im glad the consultant was positive. Do you mind me asking what clinic you went to? Im hoping to get a consultation to see if anything i can try for my spotting not ready to jump straight into IVF yet though xx

OP’s posts: |
Whilstwewait Tue 30-Jun-20 18:03:33

@Motherofkittens28 sorry to hear about your negative. Hopefully still time for a positive. I get the same though as soon as my spotting starts i just know im out xx

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Motherofkittens28 Tue 30-Jun-20 18:14:22

@Whilstwewait I just looked up gynaecological consultants and picked one who specialised in fertility and endo. I contacted his secretary and that was that. He isn't attached to a clinic as such but works at both an NHS and private hospital near me in Hampshire/ Surrey Borders. If you are in the region I'll PM you his name

Motherofkittens28 Tue 30-Jun-20 18:15:17

spotting is supposed to be due to low progesterone or thyroid ive read but you said your bloods all came back clear?

Chel93 Tue 30-Jun-20 18:39:13

@Whilstwewait Its just stressful isn't it every month you get your hopes up then AF comes, my brother in law had there baby last Thursday which had made me even more broody and my friend has just told me she's pregnant on her 3rd. Just hard and all I think is why not me and wondering if I've had my chances n that's me done now 😩. Thats exactly how I feel life is on hold ive tried ringing the hospital today for my blood results but infertility clinic is ringing out, just hoping outpatient apps start again soon, fingers crossed for everyone we get good news soon 🤞🤞

Chel93 Tue 30-Jun-20 18:39:54

sorry AF is due on 11th July xx

OrdinaryLilac Tue 30-Jun-20 18:42:37

We hit the 12 month mark this month and AF is due in a couple of days. Taken a couple of FRERs and all negative so I'm not holding out much hope this month!
I'm 27 and ttc with my first. My partner is 11 years older than me.
I've had around 4 false positive tests since ttc ranging from clear blues to FRERs, all a couple of days before AF has been due.. What's all that about. I thought they were supposed to be rare! Really disheartening.
I feel with the whole covid situation, right now isn't the best time to speak with doctors? But what would everyone else suggest, should I?
I've been tracking my ovulation this past month. Haven't had a positive/peak, only what would be classed as high on the Cbfm.

Please can someone send us all some luck?!

Whilstwewait Tue 30-Jun-20 19:04:05

@Motherofkittens28 i hadnt thought of going straight to gynaecology. I was just looking at a fertility clinic. Im based in cheshire. I enquired about private hsg and its 2k which seemend ridiculous as they bypass tubes for ivf anyway so not willing to pay that. Yes my prgoesteorne came back fine and showed ovulation but maybe it dips quickly after day 7. It does seem to be old blood but does get me down and is an added worry. Ive asked doctors to send me all my bloods so I can have a proper look.x

@Chel93 i get exactly what you mean. I keep thinking when will it be my turn. It just feels like the time is right for us after being married a year. That's annoying you cant get through. Can you email instead?

@ordinarylilac sorry you find yourself here as well. Its so frustrating and disheartening.I wouldnt worry about ringing doctors now. Ive seen many people get bloods done during covid. I actually find it easier to contact my doctor than i did before. So definitely dont be put off. If pubs can reopen doctors can do blood tests. Id mention your positives as well as seems something is happening but maybe not implanting properly and you're having chemicals rather than false positives. Better to get the ball rolling. Xx

OP’s posts: |
Chel93 Tue 30-Jun-20 19:47:33

@OrdinaryLilac yes id give your gp a call and get the ball rolling as there is a back log of outpatient apps now for the fertility clinics with all the ones they have cancelled.

Are you under the fertility clinic @whilstwewait? I don't have an email for them going to try and give them another call tomorrow, my next step is scans and test on my ovaries and things so hoping I get an app soon as

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