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35+ TTC #1 thread 2!

(223 Posts)
SoozC Tue 17-Oct-17 21:28:02

We maxed out our last thread, so I've started another one for us!

Welcome, all those over 35 who are ttc number 1! Whether you're just starting out or you're an old-timer, come and chat with others who know what it's like to feel as though time is not on your side. When you feel like all your friends and family your age already have children and you need someone to moan to, we are here!

79andnotout Wed 18-Oct-17 09:55:12

Thanks @SoozC! And regarding my last comment about womb lining, I basically just meant "I can feel some cramping coming on". I'm not really very tuned into my own body either! (although getting better). Anyway, AF arrived this morning as expected. Pretty pleased I managed a 28 day cycle this month - they definitely seem to be getting more 'normal' and the 21 day cycles from earlier in the year are hopefully a blip from the past now. I'm treating myself to a proper caffeinated coffee and almond croissant for breakfast.

Meggimoo Wed 18-Oct-17 14:54:41

@79andnotout balls about AF. But hurrah to 28 day cycle and a delicious breakfast!
@SoozC I really don’t feel in tune! My body has been doing funny little quirks that I don’t understand and haven’t got the hang of yet. I came off pill in April and even though I’ve been assured it’s out of your system straight away my cycles definitely had some adjustment time! I’m getting better at understanding when I ovulate but not loving cheapie OPKs. It’s all a very slow process though isn’t it. Normally if I wanted to learn about something I would just swot up but it takes a few cycles to understand what’s normal for your body and what’s not. I often feel like I have no clue!!

Darkstar4855 Wed 18-Oct-17 15:41:30

Wow new thread smile

@PhoebeMouse I had really bad insomnia and mega-sore boobs last month for about a week before AF, never had anything like it before and was convinced it meant success and then was gutted when AF came. I'm determined not to get my hopes up too much this time regardless of symptoms, it's so unfair how erratic our bodies/hormones can be.

@79andnotout sounds positive that OH is suggesting three shots, hopefully the therapy is improving things for you guys.

@SoozC keeping my fingers crossed for you.

SoozC Wed 18-Oct-17 20:11:37

@Maggimoo and @79andnotout, even after nearly two years I don't know what my body is about! This cycle I've really felt like how I imagine being pregnant to be, with nausea, hunger, back pain, stiff neck, constipation, lots of sneezing this morning, lower abdomen twinges... A very different cycle for me.

But it'll all mean nothing and af will turn up in a day or two and I'll have no idea why my body threw all these things at me this cycle all at the same time!

Janefx40 Thu 19-Oct-17 07:52:01

Ahhh I just started a new thread for us too! Please ignore it! I will direct any joiners over here instead xxx

Janefx40 Thu 19-Oct-17 07:56:29

I think I had a chemical once before we were actively trying. I never had a positive test so I can't be sure but at the time I just knew. I was spaced and disorientated, kept waking up, had a hot flush, waves of nausea, snotty, leg cramps and just knew. Oh and I looked down one day and my nipples were about an inch longer than normal. Every month I try to convince myself that each twinge and cramp I feel could mean something but actually the only time it caught (I think) practically none of my "symptoms" were in my belly at all.

It was the usual day for me to have a migraine yesterday - I think so anyway but I didn't do OPKs this month so it could be today or even day after. I don't have a migraine but did have a headache Monday and tuesday and possibly feel something coming on. Plus I have usual early pre-AF cramping so not holding out much hope.

Janefx40 Thu 19-Oct-17 07:59:19

@PhoebeMouse @coastalchick @Blueberry1 @Spargle we are here x

PhoebeMouse Thu 19-Oct-17 10:36:41

I started a new one too haha so ignore if you see that one! I’m on my hols in Rome now for a few days but will try to keep up on the discussions! x

Meggimoo Thu 19-Oct-17 11:15:51

You never know @SoozC it’s not over till AF arrives!
Have booked a GP appointment for next week. This time AF has been super short, only 1 day of heavy red flow so now I’m convinced my eggs are just withering up sad

Blondcat Thu 19-Oct-17 20:54:19

Hi I'm new to this so be gentle with me...
I am 36 and came off the mini pill 3 weeks ago. Had some minor bleeding when stopping pill and nothing since so not sure when to expect AF.

Somethininthewater Thu 19-Oct-17 21:46:13

I’m TTC no4... I’m 36. Always got pregnant pretty easily. On the first attempt I think. This is the 1st month TTC. Used OPKs to time ovulation/DTD so who knows, I could strike lucky. Not holding my breath though. Have you found it harder to conceive as you’ve got older? My youngest is 3

Darkstar4855 Thu 19-Oct-17 22:05:16

Welcome @Blondcat! It took about a month after having my mirena coil out before I had a period but my cycle settled down pretty quickly after that to a regular 29/30 days. It's not quite the same as the mini pill but it's progesterone based so might be similar?

Welcome @Somethininthewater, not sure you realised but all of us on this thread are trying for our first child, some have been pregnant before but not with a successful outcome. I think most of us have only been trying for a couple of years at most so hard to comment on the age thing, sorry.

coastalchick Fri 20-Oct-17 07:03:29

thanks for the shout out @janefx40!

I'm now 5-6 dpo and don't have any symptoms (unlike last time). Really want to be pg on this go as my parents are spending xmas with us and OH's family and 12 weeks would be 23 dec - what a great xmas present it would be to be able to announce a safe 12 week pregnancy. But on the other hand, petrified after my MMC at end August and what happens if we DO get pg and miscarry again, could totally ruin xmas.

Or we might not get pg at all. I think in some ways its tricky that we got pg first time last time. Am obv grateful it happened that quick (even though ultimately unsuccessful) but now I'm kind of expecting it. And it may just have been a fluke.

This whole thing is ghastly. Maybe I'll get a puppy instead.

SoozC Fri 20-Oct-17 07:16:21

Sorry you're feeling down, @coastalchick. Fx for this cycle.

I have no idea what going on. No symptoms now, suspect I'm 14dpo, no cramps... I just can't let myself get excited though. And that makes me sad.

PhoebeMouse Fri 20-Oct-17 07:25:06

@SoozC at 14dpo I would get a test taken! Good luck! smile

coastalchick Fri 20-Oct-17 07:27:55

yeah sooz, take a test!

Somethininthewater Fri 20-Oct-17 07:33:04

Gosh, no I didn’t. Really sorry. Only read the title. Good luck everyone xx

Somethininthewater Fri 20-Oct-17 07:33:38

Where it said 35+ blush

coastalchick Fri 20-Oct-17 08:25:53

ffs - just did a cheapie test even though know far too early. Someone tape my grubby little paws together!!!

Blueberry1 Fri 20-Oct-17 09:50:21

@SoozC first of all thanks for starting this new thread. At 14 DPO it's definitely time to test and you should get an accurate answer. Worst thing about testing early is that if you get BFN you can still hope it's wrong & might just be too early (been there, done that...).

@Megimooo - good move to go and see GP. Never hurts to check everything is working properly for you and OH.

@CoastalChick - fingers crossed!

@janefx40 - hope you're wrong & AF not coming!

I told my future boss I'm 10 weeks pregnant before sending her the signed contract and she was totally fine about it. She also thanked me for being upfront (as legally I didn't have to tell her for some months). So assuming Harmony test results (due next Monday * slightly nervous *) and 12 week (actually 11.5 week) scan next Wednesday at local hospital are both OK, then DP and I should be able to properly celebrate our new baby & my new job next week smile.

Not so good is that I'm really suffering with my cough and can't take almost any medication (not even strepsils FFS!). I'm reduced to Halls Soothers (essentially sweets), Glycerin lintcus (sweets in liquid form) and paracetamol (thank f**k for that as I had a temperature last night). Feeling a bit sorry for myself sad. But at least I managed to only cough myself awake last night and not DP as well, which is an improvement on the previous night.

79andnotout Fri 20-Oct-17 10:25:25

Good luck @SoozC! And yeah, take a bloody test!

Welcome @Blondcat. Which one is the minipill? I took cerazette (progesterone only) and every time I stopped it (usually when I ran out of pills and didn't get around to getting more), it took 2-3 months for my periods to come back, and they would be quite irregular for several months after that.

Yeah easy mistake to make @Somethininthewater - good luck for your 4th!

@Meggimoo - my periods up until this last year or so have always been really short (when not artificially controlled by oral contraceptives), usually one day of bleeding and one of spotting. I've been told by the fertility specialist that's no issue (and I did get pregnant in my 20's but terminated it immediately).

Our counselling is going well, although it's a long old journey. Both of us have very unstable mothers, with mental health issues, and mine with addiction issues, and parents who divorced when we were young. My childhood was patently quite horrible and I've had to be an adult as far back as I remember, but I didn't realise his was also not much fun as he's suppressed it all, whereas I got professional help as soon as I went to uni. Unsurprisingly we both have attachment issues, and they are opposing styles. He withdraws, and I cling. I really rate the therapist. I've suggested OH carries on with him on his own once we're happy with the couples stuff, and he thinks that might be a good idea. In the meantime he's being more forthcoming and trying to express his love, and I'm trying to internally question things less. I think we both also harbour doubts that we would make good parents so we'll get onto that topic at some point too. Money well spent!

Hope you're having good holidays @PhoebeMouse and @Janefx40!

Janefx40 Fri 20-Oct-17 10:52:06

Lovely to hear proper updates from everyone. The therapy sounds great @79andnotout it sounds like you and DH are in a good place and great that you are both so committed to this process. Sounds like you are both going to get a lot from it.

I'm not sure any of us can be sure we'll be good parents whatever our background. The fact that this is something you're actually working on will probably mean you end up far better than those people who just take it for granted.

@SoozC test tomorrow then if you can bear to?

@Blueberry1 we are all holding our breath for the harmony results. Amazing about your new boss too.

@Meggimoo I have light periods and was convinced that meant my womb lining must be deficient. All the docs said it didn't matter but I was convinced until I saw the results of my internal scan - my womb lining was within the healthy range! They know what they are talking about! I was bricking it before my tests but it was good in the end to find out the results. It hasn't helped - I'm still not pregnant - but at least I got to rule some problems out.

@Blondcat welcome

@coastalchick I can't blame you for testing - I'm desperate for a chance to test - but it is still so early. Hopefully a later test will be a better result

79andnotout Fri 20-Oct-17 11:56:32

Wise words as always @Janefx40.

SoozC Fri 20-Oct-17 12:04:28

Don't know if I can bear to test... I might wait until Sunday. Then DH and I will be in a position to take time to celebrate if that's what happens. I'm also far more likely to have had af by then, therefore saving myself the heartache. But I love your enthusiasm guys, made me smile!

@Blueberry1, fx for healthy results. So pleased it's all going well for you!!!

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