35+ TTC #1 thread 2!

[SoozC]

We maxed out our last thread, so I've started another one for us!

Welcome, all those over 35 who are ttc number 1! Whether you're just starting out or you're an old-timer, come and chat with others who know what it's like to feel as though time is not on your side. When you feel like all your friends and family your age already have children and you need someone to moan to, we are here!

@janefx40 - Don't start new job til January. Current job had 3 month notice period & am leaving a few weeks earlier. Legally you don't have to inform employer you're pregnant until 25 weeks, so I could have shown up in January at new job without having said anything !! I've been visibly pregnant for 2 weeks now (possibly if I wasn't slim it might be less obvious) & am just coming up to 15 weeks!!

Welcome @Compostoleana. Am liking your solid TTC plan . Hoping BFP comes your way!

Hi, TTC no. 1. Had unconfirmed chemical miscarriage last year. Now 35 and scared it will never happen. It's getting me really down.

Hi @Andromeida29 welcome! how long have you been trying for? It might be a good idea to ask for some tests at your doctors hopefully to put your mind at rest. I had a miscarriage in August and am 37 so understand how hard it is. Trying to keep positive now that we are starting over again TTC.

Hi guys, still keeping eyes on this thread.

Glad to hear all is well, @Blueberry1!

Not all good here, had some bleeding and lots of cramping. Early scan tomorrow morning, fully expecting to be told I'm miscarrying, trying to keep a grip on things right now.

Thank you @phoebemouse. Only a few months but having just turned 35 it's all I can think about. I feel awful but I'm so sick of people posting that they're pregnant. I'm happy for them in one sense but just so gutted it isn't us. For the first time, we are really settled and our situation is just right. I'm just so scared.

I completely know how you feel @Andromeida29 it only took us 9 cycles in the end to get pregnant that first time, but it seemed like a very long time and now that I have had the miscarriage there seem to be pregnancy announcements everywhere I turn, including one of my best friends, and it really is so upsetting, especially when you don't know how things will work out. but i think we have to stay positive, and as annoying as the 'at least you know you can get pregnant' comments are over having a miscarriage, i suppose it is sort of something! and it is totally normal to take a year or more getting pregnant when trying, it doesn't mean anything is wrong and i think the '35 and over' hype is a bit alarmist too. My friend who is pregnant is 37 like me, had to have IVF last time for her first child when she was younger, and just got pregnant by accident! slightly annoying but it does give you hope!

Oh @SoozC I am so sorry to hear that, I am thinking about you and hoping all will be well. A friend of mine told me that she pretty much bled all through her pregnancy and everything was absolutely fine, it does happen for all sorts of reasons, so I do hope it will turn out to be fine for you. I know how this feels though and am sending you hugs and positivity.

@SoozC - Oh no, I hope you're wrong! Many women get some bleeding and cramps in early pregnancy (I got cramps; sister-in-law got bleeding & we're both fine). Good to go for an early scan though. Hopefully it will be exercise in reassurance fingers crossed

@Andromeida29 - Tell GP you've been trying for 6 months even if you haven't just in case . It's always good to get checked out. Are you using ovulation predictor kits? You've a better chance of getting pregnant if you can accurately identify your fertile time. The clearblue dual indicator ones are expensive, but they typically identify up to 5 days per month.

@SoozC I’m so sorry - this must be horrific for you. Make yourself comfy as possible until tomorrow or go to A&E maybe if you’re in pain and bleeding? Keep us posted what you decide and what happens. We will be thinking of you xxx

@SoozC fingers crossed everything is OK for you

@SoozC hope you're ok, everything crossed things turn out ok for you xxx

Well the surgery contacted me to make a telephone appointment to discuss my results as apparently my testosterone levels are very low. Not sure what this means - got to wait till 20th for appointment which isn't ideal. Might start a thread on it.

Hope all is okay @SoozC

Thank you for your comments. We didn't tell anyone about the miscarriage (not family anyway) so we've just kept it bottled up. Will certainly try the ovulation kits. Finger's crossed xxx

@Soozc keeping everything crossed for you.

Thanks, guys, inconclusive scan today so I have another next week. No fetal pole even though I'm 7+2 according to my LMP. So another 7 days of uncertainty.

(I hope my being here isn't a bad thing; tell me to go if you guys need me to.)

oh gosh that sounds so upsetting to have to wait another week not knowing @SoozC but good news that it's not bad news! I don't know anything about fetal poles but a quick google showed up that it's normal for them not to be visible until 9 weeks and usually identified at 8 weeks, according to wikipedia anyway! So no need to worry about that by the sounds of things!

Ah @SoozC don’t go! It’s great to hear from you and we will certainly still be here for support as you need.

Glad it wasn’t awful news anyway although waiting 7 days will be torture I’m sure. I’ve never even heard of a fetal pole - but let’s hope it turns up soon

Xxx

@SoozC just looked it up. It definitely says online it may not be visible until later. But also it says that if you don’t ovulate on day 14 of your cycle this can also affect when you see the pole - you may be less pregnant than they assume. Am sure you’ve already read all this. Hoping xxx

@Composteleana I don’t know much about low testosterone. Is it something that will need treatment? Let us know how you get on

Hi @SoozC, not what you wanted to hear but not bad either. Just another week of high anxiety until you know more. Please hang around, I think we're all aware this mature pregnancy lark doesn't just get instantly better with that positive pregnancy test. The nine months following still requires mutual support, and no one can relax until there's a healthy baby in ones arms...

Welcome @Composteleana. A quick google search tells me, like everything, testosterone drops off with age and hence why our muscles turn to flab and osteoporosis starts to set in. Joy! You've not been on hormonal contraception recently, have you? Are you having a retest? I have historic thyroid problems and regular blood tests and my readings vary a lot, so if they are borderline it might just be testing error. Were your progesterone levels okay? They should be linked, I'd have thought.

Not much news from me. I ovulated on day 16 for the third month in a row, and my BBT looks amazing this month. This nice regular cycle and clear biphasic graph is keeping the panic at bay until we can start trying early next year, if all goes well with our sex therapy sessions. We're doing a program called sensate focus, where you schedule regular touching sessions and build up the intensity of the intimacy over time. I can see the end result is us having intimacy scheduled into our joint calendar alongside the cleaning rota and meal plans, but I'm fine with that! Hopefully OH would be too.

Hi everyone,
I’m still here and following your progress. Hope some of you still remember me.
Congratulations on pregnancies and very sorry about MCs.
I’ll be re-joining you from January cycle as we decided for a babi #2!
Kind of scary as our baby #1 is only 5 month! But because of my ancient age, we must get going. I’ll be 42 next April.
Some of you might remember that we TTC naturally for 5 months last year and did an IUI on the 6th cycle and it worked! We got this done back at home, in Riga. I just came back from Riga, took my baby daughter to meet up with my doctor who did the procedure. We both cried when she met my baby girl. She also did an US and could see my CS scar healed up nicely. I was mid cycle then and was ovulating, everything looked perfect to her. Apart from a tiny polyp which we hope will disappear itself. Anyway, she suggested 3 cycle she of natural TTC and if not successful, then back in the clinic for an IUI. But to remove the polyp beforehand. Sounds like a good plan to us albeit nerve wrecking. I’ll keep you posted and of course still here following your journey

Thanks, @Janefx40, I know what you say is possible. I am willing my bean to grow by next Friday.

@79andnotout, I really appreciate your words. This thread was so supportive while I was ttc and I am so worried now it means a lot to know I have people to lean on still.

I am still bleeding bright red, it's like a period except not much in a pad, mostly when I wipe. I am trying to drink loads of water and haven't really had cramps today which is good. I am really hoping the second area on the scan was a haematoma (much as it would be nice to think it was twins) because then I'd have a reason for the bleeding. I am trying to relax and rest but feel pretty useless and am very bored now. I am really wishing that I could have had a straightforward pregnancy and, having spent months wording about ttc, not be now worrying about a threatened miscarriage. I wanted to enjoy it.

@SoozC there are quite a few online stories of women getting red bleeding early in pregnancy and being ok. We just have to hope that’s you too! Thinking of you and hoping it’ll be alright.

X

@SoozC - sorry you have to wait to get pregnancy confirmed. How awful! Sending you . LMP not most accurate way to calculate pregnancy duration; using day of ovulation (if you know it) is better. If it's any help, when I did a 7 week scan (at around 7 weeks 5 days according to fertility clinic not LMP), a foetal heartbeat was found, which was very good sign. Don't know about foetal pole; don't recall it being mentioned.

@Russkispy - welcome back! Daughter looks very sweet. Good luck with conceiving no 2. We went for IVF in the end & it worked on 1st cycle (2nd embryo transfer), which was just after my 42nd birthday. Am now 15 weeks pregnant & so far no problems .

Thanks, @Blueberry1, a fetal pole basically means a foetus. So my gestational sac only contained a yolk sac. I'm trying to remain positive and keep resting.

Thanks Blueberry, so happy for you! Glad your pregnancy is going well so far. May it continue this way!
Sooz, I know it’s hard but please try to stay positive. Sending you big hugs 🤗