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TTC after recurrent miscarriage

(786 Posts)
LisaSimpsonsbff Sun 10-Sep-17 11:48:13

Hi, just wondering if anyone else was in a similar place to me and wanted to chat about it? I'm 30, TTC my first and have had three miscarriages, all early (two natural MCs at five weeks, then a MMC where a scan at 6+5 revealed development had again stopped at 5 weeks). I've had RMC tests and am just waiting on the results of that but hoping to be able to TTC again from my next period, which should come any day now. I've found throughout the whole thing (have been TTC just over a year now) that it's really helped me to chat with people in similar positions, so if anyone wants to be TTC buddies please let me know!

AnneLovesGilbert Sun 10-Sep-17 11:58:36

I'm in such a similar position! Ttc first baby. DH has ivf twins from previous marriage.

Started ttc last February, bfp August, mc days later. Next bfp straight away with no af, ended in mmc at 12 week scan in November, took one cycle off, next bfp start of this Feb, mc at 5 weeks.

As I'd also had an early mc many years ago (didn't know till it happened, was on the pill!) I was referred to local RMC after mc and was under them for last mc.

Has usual RMC tests which are all clear and was told to go away and crack on. Hmmm. Bit disheartened that after taking 7 months to get bfp last year then catching every cycle we tried it's now been another 7 months.

My RMCs protocol is for everyone to have clexane injections from bfp, whether or not they test positive for a clotting disorder. I started it with my last pregnancy and now have a big bag of drugs in my wardrobe I'm hoping I get to use before they expire!

DH hasn't had any tests because we had been conceiving quickly and when they tested my mmc baby she was chromosomally perfect. So no answers to any of it but shitty luck! And now I'm struggling to conceive...

Hoping af comes and goes again soon and you feel positive about ttc again.

flynn80 Sun 10-Sep-17 17:09:32

Hi Lisa, finally found you!

anne I remember you from the other thread, I was Buddah, somehow locked myself out of my old account and had to start a new one! So sorry to see your still around these parts sad.

I have now had 7 Mc's, 1 before I had my ds and the rest all after, I was told early this year that I had a probable chance of second infertility, then somehow ended up pregnant again at the end of may, that resulted in my latest MC, and since then been trying each month. I get my results back from genetic test in a couple of weeks after the hospital lost my 1st set of bloods, so had to wait another 3 months!

My consultant is very sure that its just down to bad luck this keeps happening all around 6 weeks, But I suspect there is some other reason why it keeps happening and Intend to find out what it is!

LisaSimpsonsbff Sun 10-Sep-17 19:44:51

Hi both - so sorry you've had such horrible experiences, but it is nice to talk to other people who are in the same place.

That's really interesting that they give it to everyone, Anne - no idea what (if anything) my local hospital will give me, but Coventry give everyone progesterone. When I got it home I realised that it, er, doesn't go in your mouth - nicer than injections but still not looking forward to doing that twice daily (you do it every cycle for 7 days)!

Flynn I feel the same as you about the timing being too suspicious. I really feel like something must be going wrong with implantation with mine - they never really seem to get off the ground.

Do either of you take aspirin? I started for a few days with my last one but then freaked myself out about self-medicating at about 16dpo, and stopped. I've been wondering about that ever since, as that one did make it a bit further than the others. Might be random coincidence of course - the RMC clinic didn't seem to think it was significant.

flynn80 Sun 10-Sep-17 21:16:40

My consultant said she didnt even recommend for me to take aspirin as i had no clotting issues, the things is though those tests were done in February, and since then (and sorry for tmi) but every period since June (my last mc) I have huge clots, literally I can stand up from sitting for a while and woosh, I googled and it said not to worry if they are no bigger than a 10p piece, but these are so much larger, and now i'm wondering whether to ask to be tested again.

I've also heard the clotting test isnt that thorough on the NHS, so wondering if i should go private for that 1?

I take those prenatal tablets available, high folic acid and even resorting to acupuncture this coming saturday, as i've read to many stories where they went to see a chinese herbalist and were suddenly pregnant within a month, anything worth a try now!

LisaSimpsonsbff Tue 12-Sep-17 08:29:07

I've also seen the 'no bigger than 10p piece' advice, and would think that that suggests it's worth at least asking about if yours are bigger. Apart from anything else, it can't be good or nice for you to be losing so much blood so quickly.

AF showed up this morning, so on cd1 of a new cycle!

AnneLovesGilbert Tue 12-Sep-17 13:14:24

That's great news Lisa, always a weird thing to say in TTC context! But it's a fresh start for you.

I'm CD 24, 11 DPO and AF due Friday.... Not sure what to think, I'm usually a bit optimistic!

Hey flynn! How nice to bump into you again, though equally very sorry to hear your struggles continue flowers xxx

What a fucker about the delay on your tests as well. So frustrating!

Yes, sorry I should have said. I asked about aspirin at my first appointment and he said no, then after my Feb loss he put me on it (I didn't bother to ask why he'd changed his mind and he was sure that due to the initial HCG result I had being quite low that pregnancy was always a non-starter and a chromosomal issue that nothing could have helped) and I'm still taking it.

Funnily enough, for the first few cycles after the last mc, which were also the first on the aspirin, I had exactly the same thing flynn, combination of gushing bright red blood and massive chunks of clots/tissue. I'm chortling at 10p piece, this was more like the length of my palm and a couple of fingers wide at times.

It was so bad I ended up phoning the GP from the toilet at work saying she had to give me something as I wasn't able to function properly at all! The pain wasn't too bad, I take mefanamic acid usually anyway, but the volume and chunks were unbelievable. I don't take the aspirin once AF hits but she thought it was possible taking it the rest of the time was affecting AF so she put me on tranexamic acid to lessen the flow.

Couldn't seem more counterintuitive taking a blood thinner 3 weeks of the month and a clotter for up to a week! But I only used the tranexamic when I was desperate and it got me through a couple of cycles but they're now much more normal and I haven't used it for a bit.

The GP said the speed I was bleeding was responsible for the clots as the hormone which thins the blood for you to pass during AF couldn't work fast enough and I was losing stuff that effectively hadn't liquified as it should have. Makes sense I guess.

Anyway, they're calmed down loads now.

I'd love to hear how the acupuncture goes! I emailed someone yesterday to ask about her availability. She's a Zita West certified or associated therapist which must mean she can perform miracles right? grin

I had it years ago from a physio when I tore something in my back and was so high on painkillers I have no clue if it helped but I'm openminded.

I've been having reflexology but I was going off it so trying something else!

Lisa, my guy offered me progesterone suppositories from BFP to 12 weeks. Much better, I've heard to put them up your bum then your fanjo as they don't leak from the former but can from the latter! I got dire warnings about any mc definitely being a mmc as you don't bleed while you're on it so even if the pregnancy failed you wouldn't know till a scan. He left it completely up to me to take it and said I could leave it unless I had any spotting, but once I started on it I had to carry on.

I'm a bit reluctant because with my mcs I've had the opposite problem and struggled to get them going as my body's been so slow at letting them go, and I was on a high progesterone pill a couple of years ago which made me feel so unbelievably shite I'll never forget it!

Crikey, I haven't half gone on.....

Hope you're both well! Thanks for this thread Lisa.

Fia256 Tue 12-Sep-17 13:32:52

Hi I'd like to jump on this thread too if that's ok!

I've had 4 miscarriages in a row now, in order at 7, 5, 16 (mmc picked up at 20w scan) and 5 again this month. Currently loosing the will to live and most hope!

The strange thing with us is we have a healthy 6 and 4 year old. No complications or problems with their pregnancies, then it's just been recurrent losses after that!

My last one was the start of this month and have decided to just keep on trying straight away. Have finally been referred to a specialist too after having to beg for it!! So waiting on my appointment coming through now

Such a horrible situation to be in, as it definitely takes any excitement over any pregnancy away as I know personally I'll just be convinced it's going to fail! Xx

somethingfromnothing Tue 12-Sep-17 13:54:43

Hi everyone!

Can I join too? I have a 5 year old but in the past 2 years have had 3 mc and a suspected ectopic. I have been referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic but after 6 weeks I'm still waiting on an appointment sad

I feel so fed up and feel that something must be wrong! Annoyingly after falling pregnant quickly with my dd and the first mc with every loss it's taking longer and longer to get pregnant.

LisaSimpsonsbff Tue 12-Sep-17 17:59:48

Hi fia and something - I'm so sorry for both your losses and wish that neither of you were in this boat, and hope you both get your successful pregnancies soon, but while you are you're very, very welcome to join us to chat about it!

That's really interesting, anne. I'm not really sure how much good the progesterone is likely to do me, to be honest - I seem to have a normal luteal phase, and I've never spotted with any of my miscarriages (all three started with a sudden torrent of blood), so there are no obvious signs that mine's low. I sort of feel like it's probably doing something for the sake of doing something, but I also still want to take it anyway! I know that makes no logical sense, but I find the thought of attempting another pregnancy with nothing different at all too scary.

AnneLovesGilbert Thu 14-Sep-17 19:07:47

Af due tomorrow.... Don't really feel like it's coming, which I've definitely had one of the times I was pregnant. Got a BFN yesterday, but I've never had a BFP before 13 or 14 DPO and my luteal phase is 13 days. Temp still high and cervix is super high and soft. Will see what tomorrow brings.

My super sensitive nose which I've had every cycle since last mc made a brief appearance last week but has mostly been missing, though I have had a cold! Massive sore boobs but otherwise feel pretty normal. I'm incredibly hormonal most of the time with one thing or another so it's a bit weird to feel so normal. Either Af is being super sneaky or something's going on....

How are you all?

What you say makes complete sense Lisa, we've spent soooo long chatting through our options for future pregnancies (always assuming!) not wanting to fill me with chemical crap when I have no diagnosis, but absolutely not willing to waste time going it again and refusing the help and expert advice on offer.

What have you been told they'll give you when you're pregnant again? Will you keep on the progesterone e.g. take it from 7dpo and carry on post bfp? If so, how long for?

I've been told progesterone from first sign of spotting post bfp - though like you I've never had any in the past - till 12 weeks, aspirin until bfp swapping to clean jabs every day till full term. He said on the clexane I should then have a lower than normal risk pregnant and can go midwife led if everything else is okay, should have a natural birth, can breastfeed etc. After a pregnancy of needles and who knows what other drugs etc I'll be keen to maintain the chance of as much normality as possible. Obviously everyone just travels hopefully in pregnancy but I hate the idea of loads of intervention and medicalisation if it's not necessary.

Having said all that, I'd like a bloody baby after all these bloody pregnancies and the crap of the last year, so I'll do what I have to and take what I get! Waahhhh, where the hell is my baby!

AnneLovesGilbert Thu 14-Sep-17 19:13:57

You've both been through the ringer @somethingfromnothing and @Fia256. Hope your appointments come through quickly.

Worth chasing up if you've waited longer for it than you'd expected to something? Do you have someone you can contact?

I found writing a massive list before our first appointment really helped. I was worried about being rushed and forgetting what to ask. Dates of cycles, past surgeries, dates of mcs, questions about tests etc. My consultant has the best PA in the world and she's been really great as well. As my last mc was after I was under the clinic it was she who gave me my shit HCG result and told me I was losing another baby, she was so kind, listened to me bawl and told me she really understood as she'd her own losses. A bit of compassion makes such a difference.

I'm happy to waffle on at boring length about what the clinic was like if it's of any use to anyone heading that way.

LisaSimpsonsbff Thu 14-Sep-17 22:11:48

Fingers so very crossed for you, Anne - you so deserve for this one to be your time.

It would be progesterone until 12 weeks. No idea if NHS RMC will prescribe something too - waiting to hear from them, which is frustrating as I know they have all the results and I want them to give them to me!

I also wrote a big list of questions before my appointment with RMC, and made sure I had all the dates of my MCs to hand, etc. Would definitely recommend that - they asked me a lot of questions quite quickly, so I can imagine it would all have been a bit confusing if I hadn't prepared a bit.

flynn80 Fri 15-Sep-17 03:49:45

Hi fia & something, sorry you've both found yourself here also. something - i'd give your gp a call to chase things up again, I remember getting my referral from my gp last december and when my appt came through for feb I was gutted it would take so long. you really want that as soon as possible.

anne yes to the clots as big as my hand! so glad they've settled down for you, im going to mention them this week at my next appt, fingers crossed they havent lost my bloods again! Your consultant seems so much more proactive than mine, my last appt was in June a week after i'd miscarried, as nice as she was she seemed too interested in trying to get me to sign up to a rm trial using progesterone suppositories.

Amongst other things I've now developed Insomnia, just what I need with a full day of work tomorrow! I have booked my acupuncture for next week, sounds sad but really looking forward to next week now, accupuncture & the clinic to get few more answers.

LisaSimpsonsbff Fri 15-Sep-17 08:36:18

So sorry to hear about the insomnia, flynn. I'm not doing so well, either - work is bad at the moment, so I'm feeling very stressed about that and I just feel generally so fragile at the moment - a bit weak and pathetic. I rang my work counselling to chase them, as they said they'd offer me a regular appointment (I've already had a one-off one) after eight weeks, and it's been more than that now, and they said they should be able to get someone to talk to me next week.

Freaking out a bit about my SIL's baby showerish thing tomorrow. Have decided to bite my lip and go and get on with it, but not looking forward to it...

flynn80 Fri 15-Sep-17 18:46:48

Lisa its not weak and pathetic - quite the opposite actually, wer all going through a hell of a time, I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy, each month my life is on hold, I barely drink, I rarely go out, I cant plan anything because I dont know what will happen and when it does we have dealt with the outcomes. Its no wonder you're feeling so delicate at the moment. It would be abnormal if you felt nothing at all and powered through.

You've taken a step to get help which is to be admired. Fingers crossed the counsellors come through for you, and as for the shower tomorrow, god I feel for you so much. Ive had 3 to go to this past summer, each one left me filled with anxiety, but I went and threw myself into it, threw off the "when are you going to have another one" comments and survived. and if i'm honest they were worse when they were in my head, the actual event was fine. Not saying I wasn't glad to get home in my pjs though, have a good cry with a takeaway too - Maybe that will help you get through it plan something nice for yourself after its all over.

AnneLovesGilbert Fri 15-Sep-17 23:17:21

I'll be thinking of you lisa and hope it's as okay as it can be flowers

Still time to develop food poisoning in the morning if you can't face it and no one would blame you xxx

No af, was due today. Bfn on IC. In bed with a terrible headache and a sore throat instead of prepping for a BBQ tomorrow. Only just over a horrible cold so feeling a bit sorry for myself!

Had a wobble earlier. A year ago at this friend's birthday do I was pregnant and my biggest worry was that I'd throw up and/or people would guess before we wanted to tell them. What I'd give for that now. Instead of showing up with a squishy 3 month old baby in my arms I'm not pregnant and sodding af is failing to show. It'll probably turn up while we're there. Just my luck after this fucking year.

Look after yourself tomorrow okay. Here if you need a rant.

AnneLovesGilbert Fri 15-Sep-17 23:19:33

flynn, you're very wise and clearly an incredibly strong brave woman. You have my admiration and my sincerest sympathy for your losses and everything you've gone through. I hope there are happier days ahead for all of us.

LisaSimpsonsbff Sat 16-Sep-17 10:42:28

I'm really sorry about the BFN, Anne - still holding out a bit of hope for you that AF doesn't come and it's just too early. Hope the party goes ok - totally understand the feeling of milestones like a year passing, or things that remind you of where you 'should' be. It's so hard.

Thanks so much to both you and Flynn for the support about the shower this afternoon - I suspect (and hope!) it won't be as bad as I fear. I do imagine I'm going to be asked a lot if I have children (people seem to find it astonishing that my younger brother is having a baby before me - it can't be that unusual!) so trying to practice saying no without looking sad!

AnneLovesGilbert Sat 16-Sep-17 20:10:43

How's today been lisa?

Af arrived this morning. Run out of mefanamic acid and been out all day in pain and looking like I've swallowed a beach ball. But it was a happy lovely day and DH has been so sweet. I know he's gutted. I think he's starting to freak out about how long it's taking as well. Not sure what to do.

Oh well. Onto another month.

LisaSimpsonsbff Sat 16-Sep-17 21:06:25

Oh I'm so sorry, Anne. It was ok - not great, but not nearly as bad as I feared. Feeling flat rather than sad/anxious today, which I think is an improvement of sorts! Is this cycle 8 now? You're still under 35, aren't you, so presumably GP won't be interested? I'm so sorry that now you're going through this after everything else.

flynn80 Sun 17-Sep-17 08:49:11

So sorry anne, The past couple of weeks I was a few days late, I finally thought this was it again, I am never late, 28 days, I can set a clock by it, but at this point was nearly 4 days late. no symptoms but drove myself mad googling. and then it happened and that was another month gone!

What have your dr's said to you, have they given you a timeframe to crack on and if nothing happens by then they will do something else?

This is also what were struggling with now, just to get pregnant again. I have my acupuncture tomorrow and really looking forward to it, staying positive this is going to be the game changer smile.

Lisa glad to hear you got through the shower, totally get the milestones thing too, Sometimes I work out how many children I should have by now and it scares me, or even worse is the comparing to others which I just seem unable to not torture myself with. Prince george was born after my ds, and she's now on her 3rd and i have 1.

keeponrunning85 Sun 17-Sep-17 17:46:30

Hello ladies.

May I join? I recognise a couple of names from various other threads.

Thanks for setting up this thread lisa. I was thinking of doing a similar one myself. I somehow feel a bit too cynical and like I've been around too long for the main TTC after pregnancy loss thread.

We're not back to TTC yet but will be in the next few months and I feel like I need to start and get back into the mindset for it. I'm having surgery on the 6th October and then once we've got the all clear from that we'll be back on it. I'm kind of dreading it to be honest.

LisaSimpsonsbff Sun 17-Sep-17 23:19:47

Hi keepon - I remember you too, you were so kind to me and gave me some advice when I was nervous about my first appointment with the consultant about recurrent miscarriage. I'm sorry that you're still waiting for your surgery, and sorry that you're dreading going back to trying (that's how I felt/feel about starting again too).

AnneLovesGilbert Mon 18-Sep-17 10:49:21

Hey keepon, I remember you too, sorry you're still in this phase but welcome to our new tiny gang flowers

I posted this on the TTC after loss thread this morning too and it's even more relevant to us lot: www.telegraph.co.uk/women/family/coped-grief-multiple-miscarriages-can/

I hadn't heard of the charity before but looks like it's a busy place and might have some useful resources. I haven't had a good painful wallow in the shit of it all for a while. The end of the summer has been so so so busy I've been distracted. A while back I was really struggling and bought a book by a woman who'd had a couple of losses. I needed to know someone else had been in the same pain and lived to tell the tale! And then it arrived and the moment had passed so it's stayed on the shelf.

I find stories of many many losses so upsetting - warning that the piece mentions someone who's had 20 - as I can't imagine it hurting more than it has done. How the hell do you keep getting up in the morning? How terrifying much each BFP be when you know what's likely to follow?

And I also find people who've had multiple losses then had a healthy baby after are in a different place. They know that however hard it was it was worth it. I don't at all mean they weren't in the worst place beforehand, it's not a competition and the grief of multiple loss is spectacular, but they know there was eventually some light and some happiness.

I have no reason to believe we'll have a happy ending, what if we're the people making up the numbers on those who don't go on to have babies at the end of it? DH isn't there at all and hasn't ever been, he's super optimistic bless him! But I have my moments. Am I being daft? Our consultant at the RMC said my next pregnancy, always assuming, has an 85% chance of making it to a take home baby. Which made us both feel a lot better in the earlier days of TTC again. But the shine's worn off it for some reason.

Sorry for rambling. I'm feeling alright today, not miserable, just a bit philosophical!

Hope you guys are okay x

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