TTC after recurrent miscarriage

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

Hi, just wondering if anyone else was in a similar place to me and wanted to chat about it? I'm 30, TTC my first and have had three miscarriages, all early (two natural MCs at five weeks, then a MMC where a scan at 6+5 revealed development had again stopped at 5 weeks). I've had RMC tests and am just waiting on the results of that but hoping to be able to TTC again from my next period, which should come any day now. I've found throughout the whole thing (have been TTC just over a year now) that it's really helped me to chat with people in similar positions, so if anyone wants to be TTC buddies please let me know!

Sorry you're having such a tough time Bertie. I hope life throws you a break soon.

I'm interested to hear more about the accupuncture. I've considered it on and off. Have they recommended you go for a weekly session?

At the moment I'm veering between thinking my op is going to solve all my problems, I'll get instantly upduffed after it and have a perfect pregnancy and thinking it isn't going to make any difference, I'll probably end up with scar tissue and never get pregnant again. A tiny part of me feels that if there were complications and I have to have an emergency hysterectomy that wouldn't be so bad because at least the decison would be made for me.

Need to put my big girl pants on today. Going to visit my best friend and her 3 and a half week old little boy after work.

I'm so sorry for all you've been through recently, Bertie, especially the loss of your friend. It's so unfair that life has thrown so much at you all at once and it must have been such a difficult time. I really hope you (and all of us!) are in a better place soon

We must be due for some good news soon, right?

Thanks for wishes all. I think I forgot to say we have an appointment with a geneticist in January. So it's sit tight and wait for that. Luckily we have DS's birthday in a couple of weeks and then it will be hallowe'en (not that we do much for that but it is a friend's wedding anniversary and they are expecting, and sometimes the expat group I'm in do a closed trick or treat thing) and Christmas and new year, and then we're in January! So not too long to hold on really. And three (ish) chances to get pregnant before then, whether it sticks or not.

bertie I get it completely, Last year we lost my nan who brought me up, in april I lost my stepdad and on sunday just gone we lost my fil - along with 6 Mc's thats a hell of a lot of bad luck as my consultant likes to keep saying they all are.

But I've realised I can sit and wallow and do what the dr's tell me, or I can be positive, keep on fighting for what I want and try everything I can - Ive chose the latter. Im all for following dr's orders but when I keep hitting a brick wall and they keep saying oh its just bad luck I cant just sit and accept that. 1 or 2 possibly bad luck - 7 miscarriages means there is an underlying reason this keeps on happening, and the fact they havent found it yet means they havent done the correct test for it. Im so over accepting what im told! Are you paying privately for the geneticist? I assume that this is the test they would be doing for you anyway, you could try to bump up your appointment though as Jan is a very long time to wait! I fully expect to be told on thursday that the tests picked nothing up and to keep on trying, They only seem very interested in when I actually was pg and were trying to sign me up to some trial for progesterone.

keeponrunning as for acu. She said because I can get pg easily she would only need to treat me once a month, we've not discussed treatment for when/ If I did get pregnant again, although im sure I can just ring and ask if needed. For now i'm focusing on taking each day as it comes, working on my diet - I tend to eat on the rush and its usually crap food choices, her telling me I need to stop eating cold foods from the fridge has really make me take a look at what I eat and work out a meal plan.

Yesterday I had cramping all day long in the uterus area and was so tired, I ended up in bed at 8 just after ds went to bed, Still feel like i could sleep all day, and according to the acu dr this is a good sign, my energy levels are being restored and the blood flow to the uterus is restoring my balance (or something, I couldn't really make out all of what she say saying if im honest )

Morning all. Af is gone, boobs no longer hurt, usual service shall resume

What a load of awful stuff going on bertie, I'm so sorry. Healing thoughts to your FIL and I'm so terribly sorry about your friend

But happy things to look forward to as well, especially your son's birthday.

Have you any luck putting on weight?

God flynn, you too. I admire you keeping your head up despite the shower of shit, and I couldn't agree with you more about doing anything and everything that feels right and like you're helping yourself.

And yes to shouting at the sky on occasion Foxtrot. Bastard sky.

I have the same feeling niggling sometimes that there was nothing wrong with my MMC baby, factually scientifically nothing wrong at all, so crap chance aside, there's something wrong with me that stopped her from developing. My other two (first of the 4 was years and years ago and was also early, I don't really count it) were earlier and probably never really got off the ground, so could have chromosomal, but what about the one the middle?

The consultant is sure a lot of women have clotting issues that can't be diagnosed and says he has great outcomes from treating serial miscarriers as though they do have clotting issues. But at the back of my mind is the worry it's not that and he's so dead set on it we'll end up there again as it's just the one approach and it'll just keep happening.

I haven't had any tests for NK cells or karyotyping. He seemed so sure he'll just magically fix whatever's wrong with me with his little pre-filled syringes nothing else has been discussed. Weirdly, maybe, he's as happy for me to do nothing differently next time around and just have all the usual fortnightly scans they offer and just hope for the best. But I don't feel we have the time to piss around and keep doing the same things hoping for a different outcome!

Feeling very positive about my acupuncture on Saturday. She seems so lovely and we've had a nice email exchange. I'm worried as I haven't talked about it all for a while that I'm going to break down and howl. Factually I'm fine saying what's happened but when people are nice it's too much! Sure she's seen it all before though.... When I saw the GP nurse for my first B12 jab after the second one she ended up crying and hugging me. It was nice in a way but also bloody awful. It's like absorbing other people's pain on your behalf. I find my own pain enough sometimes!

flynn why did she say the frequency of treatment is affected by how easily you conceive? That's interesting. How often do you have to conceive to say you do it easily? I can't imagine having had as many losses as you've been through - not to make my sadness for you your problem! - but you have my heartfelt admiration for cracking on x

Alright today lisa?

anne I think - and this is only going from what ive read - that those who have trouble conceiving need help regulating there periods and ovulation, so the frequency then need is obviously going to be higher as they need help throughout their cycle.

For me, I think as I told her I have had 7 so far, she can see I have no problem getting pregnant (although whose to say, we just dont know what the next time will bring), but as she was wobbling the little needles she just kept mentioning the fact my womb was damp and cold and any baby would be clinging on trying to survive but wouldn't be able to as it was so cold.

And don't at all be worried about breaking down. At my last MC, I had to explain once again to the lovely scan lady that I wouldnt be needing one, she got up and hugged me. I thought once I said 7 Mc's I too would wobble but I didnt, held it together and got through it, I dont know whether to be scared that it's become so matter of fact for me, but whatever the reason I just brushed it off and just went with an open mind, whatever happens its not going to kill you so try and stay positive and use it as a time to relax.

I whole heartedly agree with the wine Fox! TTC/miscarriage is miserable enough as it is. I've never been able to get on board with the no alcohol at all thing. The arrival of AF always requires comiserating with alcohol in my opinion. (Also, plenty of alcoholics still manage to have babies.)

fox Sorry you're having to sort out your dads estate, But wine is the most sensible option you can choose whilst doing so!

Hi Ladies. Sadly I find myself joining this thread as I wait to go to hospital for a D&C. Second miscarriage in 4 months. On the plus side we are very lucky to be pleased with a 16month old DS but fear age is now against us (41). I've been frantically searching sites for ways to naturally improve fertility and to try and for statistics of 3 in a row (if we are lucky enough to conceive again). At this point very grateful for any tips or shared stories of what worked after recurrent MC.

Hi may - really sorry for your losses. I guess you're not going to get any success stories here just yet as we're all still in the middle of it, but hope you find some comfort in chatting.

Very relevantly re. alcohol conversation... Am hungover and feeling very guilty today. Met a friend after she'd had an interview for a job she really wanted yesterday, she didn't get it and we ended up having consolatory drinks that turned into a very big night out - the sort I never have any more. I feel pretty rubbish about it now - I've been trying to do a whole 'my body is a temple' thing now we're trying again - have massively cut down on sugar, no caffeine, even tried the sodding yoga! And then I went and drank a bottle of wine (and vodka shots!), which feels like I ruined my efforts. It did feel good, though - very few of my friends have children (in our group 30 is considered pretty young to have a baby) and one of the things that makes me so sad about my whole situation is that I feel I've ended up with this 'mummy life' - house in the dreary suburbs, not going out much - without a baby to show for it! Last night made me feel a bit more 'me', outside of all of this TTC rubbish, than I have in a while.

lisa good! You deserve a blowout now and again, why stress all the time! Give yourself a break, you may find relaxing and not stressing will do you the world of good!

I've just come out of the hospital resting the urge to cry - they basically told me the karyotyping results had come back all clear, she'd had the results since early August but hadn't got around to sending me them. And after that told me I'd reached the end of the road with the recurrent mc clinic, there were no more NHS tests to offer me but they would be happy to do an early scan if I needed one should I ever get pregnant again.

I cannot cry. I have to pick ds up from school in a bit. I'm meant to be under one of the uks leading mc clinics and they've just signed me off. Last appt she told me they were all down to bad luck, today I said I refuse to believe it's all bad luck and the correct test hasn't been performed yet and she agreed with me...wtf?? When they say 1 thing but mean another. I feel genuinely angry now that they've wasted so much of my time for no answers and no real help.

Early night is needed and I'm breaking open the bottle of vodka!

I am so, so sorry Flynn. I completely understand why you feel devastated about being left without any more support or help. I think you need to let yourself be upset about this when you can be, and then you can start thinking about other options. It might be worth calling the Miscarriage Association and talking to someone there. Of course if they can't find an answer they can't find an answer but it doesn't seem like they're offering you the right supportive care.

Oh flynn biggest hugs. What a complete fucker. I agree about calling the MA helpline. I haven't yet but their website has been such a help to me and I have a DD to them every month specifically to contribute the phone line!

I'm so confused about her agreeing with you?! What does that mean? So they've done all the tests they can but she agrees there are other tests other people could do? I'd be fucking livid, it feels more productive than despair, but just ride the feelings and rant at us lot if it helps. Here for you x

I can't get myself too worked up about alcohol. I'm sure it does make a difference but alcohol seems to be involved in so many accidental pregnancies that I just can't bring myself to believe it makes a big difference TBH!

Anne I have put a bit on, I'm not quite in the "healthy" BMI range yet but getting closer.

flynn we are in Germany and the geneticist is covered by health insurance so that is good. I don't think we can get it moved up as there are only two geneticists/fertility clinics in our area and the other one is so booked up they aren't even taking on new patients. This one was a six month waiting list as I called them in July.

DH already knows that he has the translocation from testing his mum had when she was pregnant but we need them to redo the test because apparently it's important to know what particular chromosomes are affected as that will give us more info. They can do selective IVF if we really struggle to conceive so that might be something we look into but I'm a bit scared of that - lots of needles and painful procedures I think.

Apparently genetic issues are the only way that men's sperm can be the root of miscarriages.

Flynn sorry I missed that she'd held onto the results since August? WTF? And yes very confusing and hurtful that she would give you hope for more testing and then - nothing. Gah.

May1208 If you're looking for success stories, I don't mean to be rude but this probably isn't the best place! We're all still waiting too :) I expect if you post on Pregnancy you will find people who have had miscarriages previously which might be reassuring.

Thankyou all, Feel much better after devouring a family bag of minstrels! The tests she had previously told me about is based at the Warwick clinic, they are phone based to begin with and it boils down to them giving you an endo scratch, this procedure costs £540 and they get back to you with the results within a few weeks I think.

I was debating whether to do this as its a lot of money for just another thing to test for and may not produce any results. I need to really sit and look through the best tests available, From what I've read up the NHS tests aren't that conclusive anyway and possibly may need to book in for more thorough of the same tests.

She asked me about any changes and I mentioned the size of the clots - still nothing, I mentioned again how I think there is something wrong with my thyroid (family history of having to have it removed, plus mil asked me recently if i have thyroid problems as mine is sticking out to much whatever that means!).

My heads a bit battered with everything this week, tonight is takeaway and vodka! Tomorrow is researching a bit more and looking forward to my acupuncture on monday again. Thanks for letting me moan!

Flynn - that sounds like the Coventry NK cells testing? I've had that, if so, and happy to answer questions about it if you like. The biggest downside is you need to have two cycles off TTC to have it done.

So sorry flynn. It is so frustrating. The 'it is just bad luck' pill is very hard to swallow. And how crap to make you wait so long for the results.

Even though my uterine septum was discovered after miscarriage number 2 and there is evidence linking it to miscarriage I had to request a clinic appointment and then ask for the surgery, my consultant was not going to offer it. All she did was send me a letter saying the genetic testing was normal and that I knew I could ring EPU for reassurance scans next time I was pregnant. I was so angry when I got that letter.

Sadly, sometimes we just have to make a nuisance of ourselves I think.

Lisa yes it is for the NK cells, I think I may have asked you on my other thread but how did you find it? Was it painful?

Im probably wrong but i'm pinning my hopes on this acupuncture being my miracle cure. Doesnt help that ive mentioned twice this morning to dp I went back to the hospital yesterday and he's not even asked how I got on, He has a lot on his plate at the moment but still cant help feel a bit sad that hes either not listening or just blocking it out at the moment.

sorry fox Its so annoying when your waiting for something one way or the other, try not to be too impatient about it as you're sure to only stress yourself further. Enjoy the wine, enjoy having a bit of time to yourself, then come back stronger next time