TTC after recurrent miscarriage

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

Hi, just wondering if anyone else was in a similar place to me and wanted to chat about it? I'm 30, TTC my first and have had three miscarriages, all early (two natural MCs at five weeks, then a MMC where a scan at 6+5 revealed development had again stopped at 5 weeks). I've had RMC tests and am just waiting on the results of that but hoping to be able to TTC again from my next period, which should come any day now. I've found throughout the whole thing (have been TTC just over a year now) that it's really helped me to chat with people in similar positions, so if anyone wants to be TTC buddies please let me know!

Thanks for asking. I'm feeling OK, but a bit fed up that this year is changing me. I'm normally positive and think the best until I know otherwise, but it's really hard to keep thinking that about pregnancy. I haven't had signs of miscarriage before and they have only been shown by scans few weeks after growth stopped. Epu said after last miscarriage that I could go for early scan after 7 ish weeks next time. So think I'll do that in couple of weeks.

Definitely go for an early scan to reassure you all is going well mog.

No more stabbing today and temps show I haven't ovulated yet. Had good acupuncture session this morning and a lovely busy day.

Really strong cramping pains this evening. Very bloated and sore, same as the other day. Not quite af pain and not constant but really sore. Not a clue what it is but i don't like it

Does anyone else (who temps) get real satisfaction from seeing FF put the crosshairs on? It put them on this morning (it thinks I'm 3dpo) and I don't know why but I just find it so satisfying!

Sorry to hear about the random pains, anne. I get a lot of random cramping through the month; before I was TTCing I used to think it was my coil, but obviously not.

Yes! I also have been temping so long I can normally predict whatroughly the temperature will be so I get all pleased when I'm right.

It's the best! I need the validation I'm functioning properly in spite of no BFP these days

Glad yours showed up Lisa. Hope mine does too eventually.

I had really reliable ewcm and stabbing on the same day for months but they're not matching up the last couple of cycles. Same pain again when I woke up but it's faded now. Annoying.

How long's your LP Lisa?

You've been my temping guru bertie!

I had a massive spike today after the most level unpeaky cycle yet since I started.

That is annoying anne. My temps have been a bit all over the place so I'm glad it still picked it up. My ewcm doesn't seem so reliable at the moment either - was still getting it yesterday.

This cycle is the first one where I'll start taking the progesterone from 7dpo (I guess that's assuming they don't say anything at my appointment at Tuesday that really changes things), so my period won't come until I stop taking it so I have to test. I should probably hold out to 14dpo but I predict I'll crack a bit earlier!

Ooh, and do you think your big spike is your ovulation, Anne?

It's Sunday - I often get spikes at the weekend because either I've had a drink the night before or because I've woken up later. Sometimes it doesn't affect it but sometimes even an hour's lie in is a jump of about half a degree! But if your ovulation is due wait and see if it stays up tomorrow.

Temping keeps me sane because yes it reassures me that things are still working properly despite lack of BFPs.

Mog I hope you feel more relaxed soon. For me I think although it might come across as pessimistic to others I've decided to be matter of fact about early pregnancy and assume that it won't work out. I've banished my demons about negative/positive thinking affecting the outcome - it doesn't, that way of thinking doesn't put me in control, it just makes me anxious and obsessive compulsive - and while I'm sure I'll be hopeful and really rooting for the pregnancy to be successful, knowing that it might not seems to make it easier when it doesn't.

Not to say that others shouldn't be positive if it works for you but it doesn't work for me and that's okay - we're not all the same I think it can be helpful to identify if another strategy is actually more comfortable for you rather than going along with whatever strategy seems to be the most popular.

Bertie - I agree I don't think what you think affects the outcome, but I find it less stressful not to think of the worst outcomes. I deal with the bad parts when they come but not before. Saying that today I have been feeling very impatient to know if things are progressing how they should. Getting and being pregnant involves so much waiting and patience!

I love temping. But when my cycles are normal I only tend to do about 3 or 4 temperatures and 1 or 2 Opks a month to confirm what I expect. Doesn't give a satisfying chart, but is much lazier option.

Anne - So do you think today's spike was post ovulation spike?

Lisa - I've never waited 14 days post ovulation. I'm impressed you manage it.

I haven't managed it yet and I'm not sure I will! I've tested between 10 and 12dpo with each of my previous ones - I seem to be one of those people who get quite early positives (apparently it's to do with your base level of hcg?). I do wish I could be a bit more patient because that early bit drags enough without adding on an extra few days!

I'm impressed with all of your dedication to the temping and OPKs. I had a vague go at OPKs (cheapies) for a couple of months but never got a positive so gave up. I am a terrible sleeper at the best of times so figured temping was probably a bit of a non-starter as I'm not sure how accurate it would be.

Two friends have announced the birth of their second babies this weekend, one of whom started trying for their first after us. So am having fish fingers, potato letters and beans for tea to cheer myself up! Cannot be bothered to make anything proper.

Oh keepon, that sucks, sorry you're being surrounded. Your meal sounded good though! Go easy on yourself today.

I've woken up feeling pretty rested and aright. Still no magical crosshairs but temp stayed up, despite a bit of a drop. I have a feeling it's going to say I ovd CD15, the one day we haven't DTD, would be typical!

Happy Monday everyone.

Can I ask what these crosshairs are? I used to do ov tests, just the cheapy ones, but even after 2 days f finishing my period they would show the line and I could never work out if it meant positive or negative as on the back it says if the line is there it is negative, it ifs a strong line its positive - Like how do you know!

A lovely lady last year was on one of these boards with me and once she got pg she sent me her clearblue ov tests she had left over as well as some chocolate and a little good luck card - I'll never forget how kind she was, and they were much simpler to use, even though You wait a while for them to show up. I may get them again actually as I don't use anything at the moment other than the same pain as anne described, always on my left side too and leaves me doubled over!

Im pretty sure Im due on soon, as weve not tried this month ive not been checking though, so want to be prepared to go fully at it soon as I know when day 1 is again!

People can be so kind flynn, how thoughtful of her.

Crosshairs are on the fertility friend app and appear 3 days after you ovulate and it's comforted by 3 consistent elevated high temperatures. I'll post a pic.

I've never used OPK, I've really gone off peeing on sticks of any kind. I hate taking HPTs and OPKs strike me as mega stressful. But then I swore I'd never get into any of this stuff and temping has been a breeze, free, easy, nice little pat on the back once a month. I'm a sucker for a bit of virtual reassurance!

Crosshairs is related to basal body temperature. Your basal body temperature is your core temperature when you've just woken from sleep which is the lowest it will be all day (activity and eating and stuff can raise it.) Before ovulation it is consistently around half a degree lower than after ovulation (it switches again during your period) and during pregnancy it will be around half a degree higher again. So by taking your temperature with a sensitive digital thermometer every morning you can track these changes and plot them onto a chart (handily today, we can just stick them in an app and the app makes the chart ) and you can see where the rise occurs and so pinpoint when ovulation is likely to have been.

The app puts a vertical line to denote ovulation date and a horizontal line known as the "cover line" which basically just makes it easier to see which are the lower and which are the higher temps. So you get crossed lines which somehow ended up being called crosshairs, like that's what you're supposed to aim for

I haven't used OPKs myself but as I understand, if the test line is darker than the control line it's positive. If it's lighter or the same colour then it's negative, but the test will produce a line regardless.

I've never had any ovulation pain or physical signs of ovulation so the temping is useful for me, I probably would use sticks as well but at the moment it's an unnecessary expense. When we get some spare money if I haven't got pregnant by then I'll try it.

Anne, don't worry, it's not important to DTD the exact day of ovulation, as long as you've managed it at some point during the fertile window. Increased times of DTD doesn't actually increase your chances anyway, it's just the more days you do it the less chance you have of miscalculating and missing the fertile window entirely.

Hmm, my temping isn't being so reassuring now because I think it's going to take away my crosshairs! Any thoughts, fellow tempers? If I haven't ovulated then need to get back on it - up until 2am working last night (eurgh) so skipped it!

Got my second set of results for Conventry - also normal. Have a phone consultation to discuss, but I assume that means I stick with the progesterone but don't have to take steroids.

It's given you dotted lines because you've got fertile mucous after the suspected ovulation date, that's all.

Do you not think it's the temp dip, too?

No, not necessarily because it's still at a higher level than your average before plus you've got mostly open circles.

Sometimes you get a dip at 2-3dpo and then it goes back up, this is called a fallback rise. Sometimes you'll get a dip at 6-10 dpo which can be a sign of implantation (it happens about twice as often in pregnant charts as it does in non-pregnant charts.)

Like anything with temping you have to wait and see, you can't call it on a single low point like that, you have to look at it in retrospect.

Thanks so much - have only ever had consistently high temps after ovulation before, so was just a bit confused! Fingers crossed I have oved, but thanks for the help!

I don't have any crosshairs yet

That was my Sunday spike Bertie, and it's come down but it's still up, relatively.

Lisa, I've had dotted lines change to proper ones a couple of days later with an ov day a couple of days later twice now. And last cycle I had nothing and was starting to freak out despite two trips away and messed up sleep for it to then suddehtly tell me I was 6dpo!

Oh yes Anne, I reckon you'll get crosshairs tomorrow and I think CD15 too but you've done every other day So I think you're absolutely covered, timing wise.

There can be huge variance in patterns between cycles so there's nothing to worry about. Here are all of mine, hopefully it doesn't make them too small:

Thank you Bertie You're so kind and it makes the whole thing less shit and lonely having people to share it all with. Thanks for the pic. How do you get one of those?

Just back from Pilates. Really enjoying feeling stronger and more flexible.

One of the things I'm finding a bit crap at the moment is people who know about the mcs knowing we're ttc. I'd never have told a soul as who wants to know we're having unprotected sex! But it's obviously out there now that we've been at baby making for a while. It's lovely people care but every now and then a friend or nice colleague shoots me a look and asks if there's any news. I know it comes from a kind place but I want to snap no there's bloody no news, thanks for reminding me. Or no, but if there was I'd have told you when I wanted to and assuming I'm ever pregnant again I won't be telling a soul till I absolutely have to so please don't bloody ask. No one asks DH do they? Is he still optimistically shagging his wife and hoping it works one month?

I'm probably being narky for no reason. But does anyone know what I mean?