TTC after recurrent miscarriage

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

Hi, just wondering if anyone else was in a similar place to me and wanted to chat about it? I'm 30, TTC my first and have had three miscarriages, all early (two natural MCs at five weeks, then a MMC where a scan at 6+5 revealed development had again stopped at 5 weeks). I've had RMC tests and am just waiting on the results of that but hoping to be able to TTC again from my next period, which should come any day now. I've found throughout the whole thing (have been TTC just over a year now) that it's really helped me to chat with people in similar positions, so if anyone wants to be TTC buddies please let me know!

And how are you feeling, mog? Do you know how far past ovulation you are?

Lisa - That's very sweet of your DH - even if it's unhelpful! I hope work stress doesn't get in the way and means you are distracted from the 2 week wait.

Missed period was at weekend so only a couple of weeks.

I went and looked at pregnant after miscarriage but Miami has just had a miscarriage at 27 weeks, so it didn't seem a good time to introduce myself. Did you know her on the ttc after miscarriage thread?

Also you are all so lovely that if you don't mind I'll keep chatting to you and hopefully be here when you get your bfp's very soon!

I like it when people in similar situations get pg, it makes the random baby bombs easier :)

Just finished period now so should be fertile soon. Might try and pin DH down to DTD before it gets all about ovulation again because I think I get a bit stressy about it I don't think he minds but still.

Oh no I remember Miami :( 27 weeks must be awful.

I go away for the weekend and weve had a BFP, Mog I have everything bleedin crossed for you, Usually Id feel slight envious pangs but for you, theres literally nothing but joy, and pray that it works.

although I too sadly remember Miami and cant even imagine how shes feeling at the minute, I keep that as my silver lining, that none of my Mc's have gone beyond 8 weeks so Ive not had to deal with much stuff from hospitals, I usually let them happen at home.

Anne it was me who mentioned the sweaty hands, so weird that you've got them too, and the pain may have been if she has placed a needle in a nerve, I had this happen to me yesterday and couldnt move my foot the entire time, kept getting little shocks all the way though, but strangely had a good rest just lying there.

She gave me the tablets to take yesterday too, 4 in the am and 4 in pm. She said my body is now fine as ive not had any of the foods she told me to avoid, so its up to the next pregnancy to cling on, she told me to avoid hard work and get plenty of rest too when I do get a bfp, which is odd as I'm never able to rest, I always have to be doing something!

lisa my dp went through a similar thing, but a good chat bout why it was still important to keep trying sorted him out. Gotta run but will catch up later, hope everyones well today anyway

Eek! Tentative congratulations mog. Lots of finger crossing for you. And for more of them!

So sad to hear that about Miami. We got our last BFPs around the same time. Even though mine didn't work out I was hopeful for her.

I had quite an agitated/anxious week last week. DH gave me a pep talk at the weekend, pointing out that I probably shouldn't be getting so worked up about TTC and having another MC when I haven't had my surgery yet. I know he is right but it is easier said than done!

Please keep on with the accupuncture updates ladies.

Bertie - Good luck for fertile time. Hope you can keep it relaxed.

Flynn - What were the tablets for?

Keep - being patient is definitely easier said than done. Do you have a date for when surgery will be done?

I'll be interested to know what acupuncturist does / suggests when I say I'm pregnant. She is focused on getting blood to my uterus so probably more of the same I guess. She isn't a fertility specialist because I went for another reason too (which is no better at all!). And hasn't stuck needles in my back, so interesting to hear what others have had done. Needles have been in my feet, legs until knees, stomach, wrists, elbows and head. Don't know how much is for one reason or another but maybe linked.

Really sorry to hear you're feeling stressed keeping. I think it's completely understandable - your DH is right, of course, but as you said keeping calm can be so difficult when you feel down and panicky.

I remember miami - we were on the pregnancy after miscarriage thread together for my most recent one, I think she had more or less the same due date as me. What horrendous, heartbreaking news.

My op is next Friday. We haven't been TTC since the last MC at the beginning of May so have had quite a long break and the op has sort of been a distant, magic fix in my mind. Now it is almost here I've been thinking more about what if it isn't the magic fix. DH and I have pretty much agreed that we're just going to give it one more go and I've been worrying about what happens if I have another miscarriage.

I'm not sure how long we'll have to wait after the op before we start trying again. Some consultants say 6 weeks, some say 12. At my last appointment I was so focussed on getting my consultant to agree to the op that I didn't ask! I'm hoping she's towards the shorter end of the scale.

I didn't realise it was so soon now, keepon (I'm sort of in denial about it being nearly October!) - I can see how that's both good and scary. What is the actual operation like? Will you need much recovery time?

Good luck with FW Bertie Enjoy!

Glad things have been better in bed Lisa, bless all of our men, we at least have each other and I do wonder what the DPs/DHs would say if they had a thread! So good you can talk about it, really important, and he's being honest with you and you're finding a way through together.

Have you had a session this week flynn? I'm back Saturday, feeling really positive about it! And DM's bringing my magical oils along tonight... Has the sweaty hands thing happened to you since the first time? And what are the pills?

My woman hasn't mentioned diet at all which was surprising. But maybe she will. You'll have to take up cross words or knitting or something when you're pregnant! Still but keeps your mind and hands busy

Are you feeling calmer this week keepon? Will the surgery make TTC easier or is it a side issue? Sorry, I don't want to pry.

Mog, hope you're feeling well and as relaxed as possible! Let us know what she says. Do you expect to continue with sessions throughout?

I'm doing alright. Had a strange feeling in my lower tummy yesterday and today. Not crampy, not ov shabby (though I think I might have ovd yesterday), but like a localised ache, lower than ovary level, more behind the knicker line, quite far in. It hurt when I was walking when my right foot touched the ground. Not that bad at all but just hanging around. Feels gynaecologist not gastro. And it's probably a weird ov symptom.

I'm beyond heartbroken about Miami, it stopped me in my tracks completely. To think you could get that close to the end and then lose your baby is too much. I know people get through this, and worse, but it's hard to imagine how.

You're not prying Anne, don't worry. The surgery is to remove as much of my uterine septum as possible, with the hope that it'll lead to a successful pregnancy. There isn't a huge amount of evidence to support it, but it is the only thing that has shown up on tests so far.

I had been feeling a bit better thanks. Not quite so good today but I have been off work and I do rely quite heavily on work to occupy my mind. So not looking forward to being off after my op! I'm going to go to running club in half an hour and that usually helps.

I know what you mean about Miami. It must be absolutely devastating. Even if I ever make it beyond the first 8 weeks I don't think I will relax until the baby is here.

I am feeling annoyed with myself for working too much today and not making an appointment, so not as relaxed and refreshed as I should be. Yes I think I want to keep going to acupuncture throughout, partly because it is nice to have the break to relax properly and chat to someone neutral about how I'm feeling. Wonder if she knows she is part therapist! She only works near me on a Thursday so need to wait until next week now.

Keep - I never knew about a uterine septum until looking it up, interesting how our body's can develop inside without knowing. I hope it helps give the magic fix for you. might it help with implantation like the scratch does?

Anne - I don't think I have had pains like that. Hopefully doing something good not bad. Fingers crossed that the sperm and egg have found each other.

Hey all, keepon Sorry I'd missed where you said you were having surgery before, Have everything crossed for you but im sure it will go fine!.

Mog yeah you need to make an appointment and get yourself some rest. Mine told me if i were to become pg again I wasnt to do any manual work - which is why im now painting the hall so I wont be thinking of doing it should I suddenly get a bfp!

This weeks session actually hurt, I think she stuck 2 needles into my nerves on my lower leg so all the way through I couldn't move and was getting slight shocks. I wish I could also understand her more but she barely speaks any english, The tablets are to make my uterus warmer, to rid any damp in my body, I have been weeing to the point I may as well move onto the toilet!

I did catch where she said if i got my bfp to call her and she would change the tablets. the next lot would be to promote warmth and strength to the uterus and the blood supply which would give the baby a chance of clinging on. I'm skeptical but also optimistic about any of this working.

There is a new lady in the area who is also advertising acupuncture and im thinking of switching to her, shes closer & cheaper too so thats a bonus, and I may also be able to understand her, just worried if someone has prescribed me tablets this new one wont be able to have the same supply.

Flynn - I know I should and generally have been doing less and sleeping more, mostly because that's what I feel like doing. But part of me doesn't want to stop doing too many things, because I have been pregnant for more of this year than I haven't and cant put life totally on hold. Have quite a few painting jobs round the house I wish I'd done before like you are. That can wait now though!

Maybe you could try the other acupuncture once to compare. They all seem to do it slightly differently and you might prefer it. I've not been given tablets so no guarantee they will consistent with that though. Do you feel like they are doing something helpful, other than wee?

Hope everyone is Ok and not too worried about things.

Hi all - just catching up with things and hope all is ok. I think I ovulated either yesterday or today, so heading into the wait! Are you still having the strange pains, anne?

I'm getting loads of fertile CM so must be in FW.

DH has decided our strategy this month is not to do it every day. So we're going to stick exactly to the NICE guidelines and do it every 2-3 days :o

I'm not sure if it works like a scratch mog. That is a very good question. I don't know if the healing time afterwards negates any scratch like benefits.

Sounds like a great plan Bertie. I've never been up for the every day approach unless we're on holiday if I'm honest!

We managed every other day this fertile week. We just don't find every day practical - stuff comes up and makes it too hard. Like I would have liked to get in another go last night, but DH came with me to a work event and by the time we got home it was gone midnight and we were just too tired! Fingers crossed that we did enough, but who knows - trying not to get my hopes up as it's only cycle 1 back trying.

Same here, keepon I cant be bothered with the every day approach - maybe thats where im going wrong though!

This month were properly back to trying so will see how we go for every 2 days. We had fil's funeral on wednesday and that was the 1st time we dtd in around 5 weeks due to the stress of everything, so its nice to see dp getting back to his old self - obviously still grieving but hes not stressed and wound up as he used to be.

To be fair it's not like we've done every day every month but some cycles it seemed to happen like that - especially when DH broke his foot, he got very bored sat at home every day! If it's not TMI I am highly context driven with sex so when there's something like the possibility of pregnancy, or some kind of novelty I seem to be up for it all the time Whereas at other times I could happily go weeks or even months without a sniff of action. If I look back over fertility friend you can see where the shine of TTC obviously started to wear off and we hardly managed it at all but then with lots of time at home it bounced back again. 2-3 days seems doable and sensible though.

We don't often do it every night at fertile time, if we did I don't think we would do it for rest of month. My main rule is not first time in a while when I think ovulation, ie I believe sperm healthier if not waiting around too long. But that may be total fiction!

Interesting that there are a few of you in sync with each other.

That's good bertie, have we all weirdly fallen into sync?! You too lisa? Had no feelings today at all till I got the familiar ovulation stab in my left ov area that was so violent I doubled over while cooking dinner! Bang on schedule. Don't know what the other pain was about.

I'm still not over the novelty of a lovely husband who actually likes shagging me (was a major issue with xh) so we tend to do it every day throughout the month with the odd day or two off but I've definitely seen people say every other day can be beneficial to ttc and it's much better than getting knackered too quickly and then missing the window. For me it's a habit as much as anything. I sort of assume we'll dtd then if one of us is tired or doesn't feel up for it we don't and that's cool too. No sex during/post mmc was an absolute bastard, physically I was obviously a wreck but it was the longest we'd ever not done it and I didn't realise how dependent I was on it as a way to unwind, destress, be close, get to sleep. Bad times.

I hope the funeral wasn't too tough flynn. Your poor DP. I'm sure you've been a huge comfort to him. DH has never been to a funeral. He's 41! Lucky sod.

That's makes sense on sperm health mog, absolutely.

How are you feeling? I'm so excited you're pregnant

We do all seem to have synced - weird! I don't get ovulation pain, but I got a peak reading on the Clearblue yesterday - I often seem to ovulate the same day, but I was still getting EWCM this morning so I guess it was maybe today; we'll see what tomorrow's temps show!

I know what you mean about going in phases, bertie. On a practical front we're finding it much easier to dtd (last week's hiccup aside) than when we were last trying because DH moved to a new job at the start of the month (he's a teacher) which is much closer to home, so he's now getting up at 7.15 rather than 5.45 and so is much less knackered and much more up for it! It's also nice to be back to 'normal' as while we were not trying over the summer he was pulling out, which tbh always slightly ruined it for me (he found it too hard to go back to condoms after so many years of not, and I didn't want to take pill or anything like that).

Hope the funeral went as well as these things can, flynn; I know a lot of people find it really helps the grieving process to have it done. It must be a really hard time for you both.

To be fair we don't much do it at other times of the month these days I find my cervix is too low during my period, then it's FW, the week after we've lost interest/need a break and then the week leading up to my period I am rarely interested and get too easily distracted. It happens sometimes but not that much.