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AIBU?

Told off for serving olives and chicken?

438 replies

justonanote · 04/04/2022 18:14

I invited a friend's DD to my house. She and one of her friend's had been invited to a wedding and they were going to go together

I offered to have her DD and casually offered to have her friend's DD too. She jumped at the chance and was very enthusiastic.

This was all a very last minute arrangement and both seemed grateful to have childcare sorted

They were gone before lunch time but would be back before 6 so was told they'd sort dinner.

I briefly mentioned what to give for lunch and my own friend didn't actually say but I know her DD very well so just gave her what I know she would eat. No problems.

However, my friend's friend said 'oh just a cheese sandwich will do fine! Thanks again for having her'

I made a chicken curry. Both girls ate it and then wanted some seconds Blush we also had some olives randomly and a snack in the early evening

Friend's friend rang me once her DD was home with her screaming! I was completely shocked and not sure what she was talking about at first. Then she was cleared and said 'YOU GAVE RACH CHICKEN?! She is veggie!!!!! You could've damaged her stomach! She isn't use to meat'

I apologies profusely and said how sorry I was. It was a genuine mistake. She then said 'And the olives?! A choking hazard aren't they?!'

I again apologised but said I didn't realise it was wrong. I then said I won't have her again so there's no need to worry any further. She started screaming again and I hang up.

This was Sunday night. I haven't heard from my friend (who's child I know better and am actually close with). Her phone goes to VM and WhatsApp messages aren't double ticking

Was I really that Unreasonable? I really really didn't even think she could be veggie Sad

To make matters worse, my own child has a severe disability and he doesn't eat meat. I feel so bad.

OP posts:
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LndnGrl · 04/04/2022 18:17

I'd be sending her my childcare invoice pronto.

Cheeky bitch.

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EV117 · 04/04/2022 18:17

She’s crazy. Ignore.

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LndnGrl · 04/04/2022 18:18

Actually, to both 9f them because it sounds like your friend has blocked you.

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justonanote · 04/04/2022 18:19

Well the thing is... I'm thinking, I didn't actually ensure she wasn't veggie? And it isn't uncommon? So maybe I am in the wrong for that

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MichelleScarn · 04/04/2022 18:20

Dietary requirements should be raised if someone is in a situation where they will be offered food. How old are the girls? Could she not have said herself she was veggie?

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CatsArePeople · 04/04/2022 18:20

How old is the child?

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ArcheryAnnie · 04/04/2022 18:20

Good god. If she didn't want her child to eat certain things, she should've discussed it with you beforehand. They are behaving very badly indeed.

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miltonj · 04/04/2022 18:20

Wtf. So weird that she didn't tell you that her child was veggie. And as for the olive thing, I give my 18 month old olives not cut up and she manages fine!

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LittleBearPad · 04/04/2022 18:20

If a child is veggie (or has any other dietary requirements) it is up to them to tell you. You did her a favour, she blithely said give her a cheese sandwich - this isn’t information that said child is veggie! Silly woman

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SmallestInTheClass · 04/04/2022 18:20

Genuine mistake on your part. She should have told you if there were dietary requirements. I'd also feel bad in your place, as you do, but it really isn't your fault.

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Sapphire387 · 04/04/2022 18:21

She should have said if her daughter was veggie. As for damaging her stomach... ridiculous.

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TheKeatingFive · 04/04/2022 18:21

Well no more invites for Rach then.

The mother sounds unhinged. If she didn't tell you, and Rach didn't tell you, how the hell are you supposed to know? I'd be blanking them after that.

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daisychainsandrainbows · 04/04/2022 18:21

"A cheese sandwich will do fine" does not translate to "my child is strictly vegetarian". YANBU.

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GoodnightJude1 · 04/04/2022 18:21

You did nothing wrong at all!!!
If her DC had certain dietary requirements she should have told you before she left.
She’s a CF

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lickenchugget · 04/04/2022 18:21

Veggies need to tell people they are veggies. She’s batshit.

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SuckIt · 04/04/2022 18:21

She should have told you she was a veggie FFS. Same as you would if your child had an intolerance or allergy. She is 100% being a dick here.
Chalk it up to experience and accept this friendship is over. She’s shown her true colours by not supporting you.

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NoSquirrels · 04/04/2022 18:22

Of COURSE you weren’t unreasonable! Who leaves their child who’s young enough not to say they’re vegetarian with someone they don’t know and forgets to mention their dietary restrictions?

And who then screams at the person who made a genuine error after doing you a huge favour?

Put it out of your mind.

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justonanote · 04/04/2022 18:22

Rach (not her real name of course), is 8

My nephews are veggie. They could tell me something wasn't 'veteran Grin' by age 3 to be fair

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HemanOrSheRa · 04/04/2022 18:23

I think being vegetarian is a significant thing to mention if someone is looking after your child for the day!

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Coronado2 · 04/04/2022 18:23

I can kind of a tiny bit see in her mind she's said cheese sandwiches so she didn't think she needed to say she's veggie, however my children are vegetarian and if they eat anywhere i make sure I tell people. Even offer to send food if it's easier. I certainly wouldn't scream at them if this happened. Both of my children would check if it was real chicken or not before eating though, how old was the child?

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Merlott · 04/04/2022 18:23

Wow that woman has issues!

I really hope your "friend" hasn't taken the side of this lunatic. You did nothing wrong OP!

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CatsArePeople · 04/04/2022 18:24

you CF friend needs to give her head a wobble. Maybe Rach doesn't want to be a veggie anymore

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TiredTeaAndHotWaterBottles · 04/04/2022 18:24

How old are the children? I'm guessing that to have willingly and happily eaten chicken and olives, they are not pre-school, so definitely old enough to have said 'sorry I can't eat that I'm vegetarian'. If not pre school, then olives are surely fine and not really a choking hazzard?

I think your 'friend' is a bit off their rocker to be honest!! (Unless the girls are 2 or 3)

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Coronado2 · 04/04/2022 18:24

Missed your post, yeah, I'd expect her to check/know.

I didn't say in my first post, but I don't think you were unreasonable. It on other parents to tell you dietary needs not on you to ask.

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easylemonsqueezy · 04/04/2022 18:25

Tell her to fuck off
Simple

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