Told off for serving olives and chicken?

[justonanote]

I invited a friend's DD to my house. She and one of her friend's had been invited to a wedding and they were going to go together

I offered to have her DD and casually offered to have her friend's DD too. She jumped at the chance and was very enthusiastic.

This was all a very last minute arrangement and both seemed grateful to have childcare sorted

They were gone before lunch time but would be back before 6 so was told they'd sort dinner.

I briefly mentioned what to give for lunch and my own friend didn't actually say but I know her DD very well so just gave her what I know she would eat. No problems.

However, my friend's friend said 'oh just a cheese sandwich will do fine! Thanks again for having her'

I made a chicken curry. Both girls ate it and then wanted some seconds we also had some olives randomly and a snack in the early evening

Friend's friend rang me once her DD was home with her screaming! I was completely shocked and not sure what she was talking about at first. Then she was cleared and said 'YOU GAVE RACH CHICKEN?! She is veggie!!!!! You could've damaged her stomach! She isn't use to meat'

I apologies profusely and said how sorry I was. It was a genuine mistake. She then said 'And the olives?! A choking hazard aren't they?!'

I again apologised but said I didn't realise it was wrong. I then said I won't have her again so there's no need to worry any further. She started screaming again and I hang up.

This was Sunday night. I haven't heard from my friend (who's child I know better and am actually close with). Her phone goes to VM and WhatsApp messages aren't double ticking

Was I really that Unreasonable? I really really didn't even think she could be veggie

To make matters worse, my own child has a severe disability and he doesn't eat meat. I feel so bad.

[Indicatrice]

No good deed goes unpunished.

Block and delete.

[justonanote]

Thank you I feel much better not

The only thing is that I might've said I could do a cheese sandwich when she said about a cheese sandwich... so maybe she felt as if I should've stuck to what I accepted to do originally

[justonanote]

*better now

[aSofaNearYou]

If her child was veggie she should have said as much, this is her fault.

[zaffa]

@justonanote

Well the thing is... I'm thinking, I didn't actually ensure she wasn't veggie? And it isn't uncommon? So maybe I am in the wrong for that

You are not in the wrong. DD has a dairy allergy. I tell everyone repeatedly not to give her dairy, I don't just hope for the best! She should have made it absolutely clear and possibly sent a packed lunch if there were specific dietary requirements. Also cheese contains animal products so she is being very unreasonable to then expect you to know the child is a vegetarian

[OhSoStranger]

You have done nothing wrong OP.

How were you meant to know ??

[Duchess379]

CF springs to mind. You asked what to feed her & she didn't think to mention her little angel was a veggie. Her fault entirely. Your friend is an equal a-hole for blocking you. Don't bother contacting them, cut them out, you don't need that sort of negativity 👍🏼

[HeArInGhandsgirl11]

Cheeky cow! If a DC is a veggies surely you would make someone aware of this! I also think your other friend is totally out of order not messaging you

Do not feel bad you did a nice thing!

[sassyduck]

You've done nothing wrong.

[Comedycook]

Sorry I know you only mentioned it briefly but you have a severely disabled child and you looked after two extra kids as a favour?! Tell this woman to fuck off... seriously

[sophienelisse]

You did her a favour and she's reacted like this? What a twat. She should of definitely mentioned her being a vegetarian.

Your other friend should be standing up for you.

[Georgeskitchen]

She had seconds so she obviously likes meat. I'm guessing her mother is a vegetarian and has decided her daughter is too. I doubt it will damage her stomach apart from give her a bit of wind!!🤣

[Newmumatlast]

@justonanote

Well the thing is... I'm thinking, I didn't actually ensure she wasn't veggie? And it isn't uncommon? So maybe I am in the wrong for that

The child should know to be fair unless they're under 3 and cannot say. And in terms of allergies/strict food rules I think it is on the parent to communicate that and not you to ask. If it is that important.

[OhShouldI]

I was vegetarian from age 6 and I was always able to tell people of my dietary requirements, as was my friend who is a life long vegetarian. At age 8 the child is old enough to communicate this with you (as Mum clearly didn’t!). YANBU.

[PinkSyCo]

The woman’s an idiot for not telling you that her DD is vegetarian. She owes you an apology and a box of chocs for looking after her kid.

[oakleaffy]

@justonanote

Well the thing is... I'm thinking, I didn't actually ensure she wasn't veggie? And it isn't uncommon? So maybe I am in the wrong for that

It is the parent or guardian’s responsibility totally to say if their child has dietary needs.

Chicken is so easily digestible, it’s recommended by Vets if puppies have an upset stomach.

Olives are much smaller than grapes generally, so unlikely to be a choking hazard.

What a complete cheek!
Sounds like the little girl enjoyed her food at yours.

Sorry the mother and your friend were so unreasonable.

[Neverreturntoathread]

She’s mad. If you drop your child off at someone else’s house and you have a dietry requirement, you tell them. I make sure everyone who looks after DD knows what she can’t eat.

Sure you could have asked and probably should have but the onus was on her not you.

She’s ungrateful and mad. She shouted at you??! And is now blanking you? Adults don’t behave like that.

[Newmumatlast]

@justonanote

Thank you I feel much better not

The only thing is that I might've said I could do a cheese sandwich when she said about a cheese sandwich... so maybe she felt as if I should've stuck to what I accepted to do originally

And on this, she suggested something that isnt a meal. You said you could do that. But that doesnt mean that is all you'll offer or do. And if the child wants some curry then why wouldnt you give it - obviously if not full of scotch bonnets lol. She is lucky she got free care and didnt have to provide a lunch bag ffs

[Greensleeves]

I've seen enough "vegan" kids furtively wolfing down sausages on Woodcraft Folk camps to roll my eyes at this sort of nonsense.

If the child was a vegetarian, she herself could have told you she couldn't have meat. Clearly it's not as important to her identity as her mother thinks it should be - which is a whole bunch of Not Your Problem

[KatherineJaneway]

Perhaps Rach is actually more a carnivore than mum thinks

Agree

[Neverreturntoathread]

I really fancy chicken curry and olives now.

[Snog]

There was no reason not to serve chicken or olives OP.

There was every reason for Rach's mum to be polite, friendly and grateful for your kindness to both her and her child.

[justonanote]

@Comedycook

Sorry I know you only mentioned it briefly but you have a severely disabled child and you looked after two extra kids as a favour?! Tell this woman to fuck off... seriously

Yes. He doesn't really see any other children he doesn't acknowledge people but genuinely enjoys company in the house. But people don't invite him to anything anymore so I find I try and sort things so he knows people will come by to see us

[MrsLighthouse]

Well lucky you ! No more free childminding …
Honestly you never know the parents are mad until they kick off about something .
Of COURSE she should have said ( and confirmed understanding ) that her kid didn’t eat meat .
Forget it ..and if your other friend feels conflicted then she’s a lightweight.

[Theunamedcat]

Do people really cut up olives for 8 year olds?

Sounds like great child isn't as vegetarian as the mum wants