Told off for serving olives and chicken?

[justonanote]

I invited a friend's DD to my house. She and one of her friend's had been invited to a wedding and they were going to go together

I offered to have her DD and casually offered to have her friend's DD too. She jumped at the chance and was very enthusiastic.

This was all a very last minute arrangement and both seemed grateful to have childcare sorted

They were gone before lunch time but would be back before 6 so was told they'd sort dinner.

I briefly mentioned what to give for lunch and my own friend didn't actually say but I know her DD very well so just gave her what I know she would eat. No problems.

However, my friend's friend said 'oh just a cheese sandwich will do fine! Thanks again for having her'

I made a chicken curry. Both girls ate it and then wanted some seconds we also had some olives randomly and a snack in the early evening

Friend's friend rang me once her DD was home with her screaming! I was completely shocked and not sure what she was talking about at first. Then she was cleared and said 'YOU GAVE RACH CHICKEN?! She is veggie!!!!! You could've damaged her stomach! She isn't use to meat'

I apologies profusely and said how sorry I was. It was a genuine mistake. She then said 'And the olives?! A choking hazard aren't they?!'

I again apologised but said I didn't realise it was wrong. I then said I won't have her again so there's no need to worry any further. She started screaming again and I hang up.

This was Sunday night. I haven't heard from my friend (who's child I know better and am actually close with). Her phone goes to VM and WhatsApp messages aren't double ticking

Was I really that Unreasonable? I really really didn't even think she could be veggie

To make matters worse, my own child has a severe disability and he doesn't eat meat. I feel so bad.

[incognitoforthisone]

First of all, an eight-year-old is old enough to explain that she's vegetarian. Secondly, the mother should have said her child was vegetarian anyway. Thirdly, eating meat for the first time will not damage an eight-year-old's stomach - a normal human digestive system will cope with meat just fine, regardless of whether it's accustomed to it. Fourthly, who the fuck thinks olives are a choking hazard for a bloody eight-year-old? She's not a baby, ffs.

Also, if Rach was happy to tuck into chicken and olives with no hesitation and enjoyed them with gusto, my guess is that she's probably eaten both of them before anyway without her mother's knowledge, either at school or at someone else's house.

[DoWhatYouLike]

The woman is a very rude, ungrateful, mental bitch.

[RewildingAmbridge]

Sounds like her vegetarian child loved your chicken curry OP! My 3 year old eats olives (pitted) so I wouldn't have thought twice about an eight year old, and surely you say if your child has a dietary requirement. Yes being vegetarian is more common in adults than it used to be, but it's still nowhere near the majority and even fewer children are veggie

[Londonderry34]

Don't feel bad. She's ridiculous. What are you, a mind reader?? Why are people so hysterical? You did a kind thing.

[DelphiniumBlue]

The world is full of crazies, and this woman is one of them.
Just to reassure you, I work with 8 year olds, and they all can and do say if they have particular diets, and they know full well what they can and can't eat. It's not up to you to check food preferences, and the part that tells me that the woman is crazy is the bit about olives being choking hazards! FOR AN 8 YEAR OLD! Just so you know, the salad bar in our school canteen has olives, they are a normal food for an 8 year old.
You have done nothing wrong.

[viques]

If Rach was too polite to mention that she didn’t eat chicken ( which is a possibility if she didn’t know the OP ) then why did she come back for seconds? If she had forced down the chicken out of politeness a simple “ no thanks , I’m full up. “ would have sorted it. I think she loved the chicken and was only too pleased to have it!

A mum from a strict vegetarian household would not have asked for a cheese sandwich because in most households you could not be sure it had been produced without rennet.

[DdraigGoch]

@CatsArePeople

you CF friend needs to give her head a wobble. Maybe Rach doesn't want to be a veggie anymore

I can foresee an almighty teenage rebellion in a few years time.

[lulabellz123]

It was the mothers responsibility to tell you of her child's dietary requirements. Secondly, her reaction was uncalled for and unnecessary, she sounds crazy. Secondly, how are olives a choking hazard for a 8 year old? Wtf that's a full grown child

[mangoallergy]

Last week little girl (7yo) told me I'm vegetarian at home, but at school I eat meat. Maybe Rach isn't as veggie as her mummy thinks

[MrsToothyBitch]

Unless she is cripplingly shy, child was old enough to tell you herself- and if it mattered that much she would have. Rach clearly has a taste for flesh lol.

Similarly your "friend" should have said something if she was that bothered and/or spoken up to make you aware if she knew her child might not. She's a cheeky freeloading bitch and it bit her in the ass.

[pictish]

If she didn’t tell you her daughter was veggie then how were you supposed to know? Her daughter didn’t tell you either. You haven’t done anything wrong. The mother is very rude to have called you in a fury. It wasn’t your mistake but theirs!
She has probably told your mutual friend a one-sided version of events about this. I hope your friend has the decency to hear you out. If not, she wasn’t much of a friend.
Sorry this happened. X

[Dreamworks]

My DS is 3 and has some medical problems which means he can't eat certain things, he is aware of most things that he can and can't eat other than odd thing. At 8 I would expect a child to be able to tell me they were a veggie

[Clarinet1]

Can’t help laughing at “We’re they stoned?” Was that the olives, the children or the mother? 😂

[Benjispruce4]

YADNBU as it’s on the person or parent to state allergies or dietary requirements. My Dd has a nut allergy so I would always make that clear or provide own food. As for olives being a choking hazard, is she under 3? When you dishes up dinner and said it’s chicken curry, did the child not say anything?

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

Ignore. The child was old enough to say something. My DC are Muslim so I normally told parent that fish or veggie stuff was fine. I once forgot and DS2 thought the hot dog they offered him was a veggie one because that was the only type of hot dog he had ever had. So my young son ate a pork hotdog. DH is Muslim I am not but we both had the same reaction - shit happens. A parent didn’t realise and our child didn’t ask. We didn’t ever mention it to the parents and just reminded DS2 to check next time.

[Innocenta]

That's insane! I was a vegetarian child of vegetarian mother, and knew my own dietary restriction from far younger than 8. I never would've eaten meat, because it mattered to me and I wouldn't have been comfortable. My mother knew this and would have spoken clearly with anyone looking after me. If neither spoke up (which obviously they did not!), then you have zero blame in this situation. Sometimes children being raised vegetarian or vegan want to try meat, which is a natural curiosity and shouldn't be shamed or blamed (obviously not saying you'd do this!). I wonder if the child was quite happy to have the chance...?

(And by the way, I am saying all this as a strict vegan now myself. That does not change the fact I am 110% Team OP on this one!)

[BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation]

Poor Rach. Her tongue's going to be hanging out every time they go past a KFC 😄

[Beenylou]

I don't think you did anything wrong. I think it's the parents' responsibility to let the childcare provider know of any dietary requirements/restrictions. Olives weren't the wisest choice but all that needed to be done is for her to ask that you don't give her child them again due to the choking risk. She's massively over-reacting.

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

There's no arguing with batshit. Just chat about it with your dd when you next see her and see what she says about it.

[Headabovetheparakeet]

I have a friend who was raised vegetarian. She used to love going to other peoples' houses for dinner so she could eat meat!

[HyggeTygge]

Never mind the etiquette, how is the poor girl's damaged stomach? Surely she was blue-lighted to hospital?

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Olives weren't the wisest choice

What is unwise about offering olives to an 8yo?

[Benjispruce4]

As for screaming at you, I’d be blocking her.

[EthelTheAardvark]

It's perfectly reasonable to expect an 8 year old to tell you if she's veggie, and anyway her mother should have told you in advance. I would certainly expect an 8 year old to be able to eat olives without choking.

[BobLemon]

What a shame that the adage “no good deed goes unpunished” is so often true. You did a nice thing, OP. For all involved.

Sounds like the friend’s friend might be veggie, but the FFDD…